Grandparent childcare

[countchocula]

If you previously relied on this (regular childcare for work, not adhoc / babysitting), when will you be resuming it?

Caveats being obviously not shielding / vulnerable / over 70s etc.

I don't think the government are going to explicitly say this is ok at any point. I think it's being overlooked or avoided as it could open up a can of worms.

Feels like another thing we should be "using our common sense" for, but is totally essential for many of us who will be needing to get back to work

My mum resumed care last week. She does one day a week. I can't afford an extra day in childcare setting right now for 2xkids and me and my partner need to work (keyworkers).
She lives alone, it's a 'calculated risk' I suppose

I think when we were only allowed to leave the house once a day for exercise, how essential it was could have been debated.

There’s no debate about it at all. If you are a critical worker and need childcare, using non vulnerable family or friends was always acceptable. What else are you supposed to do?

I don't see any reason grandparents under up and not shielding can't help now. It's just childcare, like a childminder. It's the common sense interpretation.

My child has been going to a grandparents to be cared for while I am at work throughout lockdown. Grandparents both under 60 and healthy.

Well I wouldn't worry about the age part. The government are confidently expecting that school staff up to retirement age will go into schools from Monday .

We’re restarting one day pw this week. Child usually does a mix of nursery and GPs but is not doing nursery currently to minimise risk. GPs are 50s and healthy.

I never stopped using DM (late 60s) for childcare. Single parent working long shifts in a healthcare environment. No other options available except quitting, which really wasn't an option.
How do people think HCPs have managed throughout?

We did get 1 day a week grandparent childcare but have applied for an extra nursery day when my maternity leave for DC3 finishes. Grandparents are in their mid 60s and the children will be going out to school / nursery, we don't want to be responsible for making the GP sick - the risks rise quite a bit for people in their 60s . Don't know what we'll do if we can't get the extra nursery day.

My DD is going back to GP’s as soon as I go back to work, which should be in the next week or 2. My feeling is that you make a decision based on your own circumstances and not worry about what everyone else is or isn’t doing.

When you feel is right and need to.
Thats what we've done.

One of the staff at my DD's nursery is (I'd guess) the same age as my mum - mid fifties. If there's no restrictions on the age of nursery staff (which there isn't) I don't see why a healthy 54 year old can look after several children at a nursery but a different healthy 54 year old can't look after a grandchild. Obviously some grandparents are older though, my parents and I both had kids in our mid twenties.

People are not vulnerable just because they have the title ‘grandparent’.

My grandparents were in their late forties and early fifties growing up.

My son is 15 and my parents are in their late 50’s and probably healthier than I am. When he was a toddler, they were only in their forties.

If your parents want to look after the children and they aren’t over 70 or vulnerable, then let them.

Plenty of staff in my school in their early 60’s and soon to be back around dozens of children. I don’t really see the difference.

This is really good to read. We've had a horrible 3 months with DH working out of the house and me trying to work almost f/t with a 3yo and an 8yo. Thank god the 3yo can start childcare tomorrow, but the 8yo probably won't have anything until September. They're bored and sad and stressed. I'm really tempted to let them go and visit their grandparents for a week, I honestly think mental health wise it will be best for everyone involved, lonely grandparents included. If there's no real school then I think I'll let them go and stay for a while.

Thanks for posting everyone.

We started this yesterday and it was such a relief. My DD is so much happier today, having had some variation for a change and I was able to properly get on with work.

This other thread might be of interest, discussing the government making changes to the definition of "childcare" under some of their Covid-19 rules:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3926624-AIBU-to-be-so-so-angry-sorry-another-Dominic-Cummings-thread

Thanks everyone, I've just been trying to decide whether to have my mum to help me. I have a ME and am often unable to walk and talk, and throughout lockdown I've been scraping through by sheer god knows what to get through without help. My Dh is a key worker doing 12 hr shifts and I'm a teacher. This last few months have been utter hell but I've stuck to the rules and not let my son (3) be cared for by my parents. I still don't know what to do, I'm waiting for them to specifically say it's OK because my anxiety is through the roof about 'the rules' and everything is so confusing. My mum is desperate to come help as she has me sobbing on the phone regularly. I feel guilty enough as it is that I have chosen to have a child knowing how debilitating my illness is. But now he regularly spends the whole day being babysat by the television while Dh is at work and I'm too sick to play with him. He's fed, clean etc but I fear his quality of life has imploded. It would mean her coming here as I cannot drive, so I fear a police officer banging on our door and fining me and giving me a criminal record! If I tell them I have a disability then they may not believe me as 'I look fine' and half the people out there think ME is a made up illness at the best of times. So this is where I am. Also my mum is over 70 so I'm screwed in that respect too. She's very, very healthy though, like ridiculously so.
Anyway. Thanks for listening. Sorry about the ramble. Just sharing my jumbled, exhausted thoughts.

Funnily enough boot on other foot here. My grandchildren are now allowed in our garden but not the house so child care is still out of the question.

solarcat thanks for posting that.

If a parent is paid and it's an arrangement which predates coronavirus I think it would potentially get around that?

But in all honesty it's just so ridiculous. I don't think it can be policed at all.

I am in Wales so not law here yet but I'm sure we will do the same if not stricter.

It isn't going to change what I'm doing. I need to work, this is our childcare arrangement. If I took the fines I would still make more than I will not working at all.

I fundamentally disagree with them dictating how families can interact with each other. This will disproportionately effect women and it's completely overkill.

@Anywaythewindisblowing the police most certainly will not fine you or give you a criminal record!! The government have said you can travel for childcare purposes so your mum is legally able to come to you.
Because of your illness and the exceptional circumstances there is no way anyone would say you are breaking "the rules". Plenty of people are already using their parents for childcare(myself included). It's an individual decision but you will not be penalised for choosing to do so. If your mum is happy to come over and you've all been social distancing so far then I see no issue. At some point there has to be a toss-up between virus risk and someone's mental/social wellbeing (yours and your son's).

The government have said you can travel for childcare purposes so your mum is legally able to come to you

I thought they had said exactly the opposite and have tightened the rules this week by clarifying that it's now unlawful, whereas under the previous rules it had been left deliberately vague.