My dad won't get a ventilator, will he?

[ivegotdreadfulpmttoday]

My Dad has tested positive for covid19. He is in his 90s, with dementia, in a care home. If he needs it, he won't be put on a ventilator, will he?

The prognosis on ventilators is not great for anyone so it may even be better if he is not eligible for one and he could pull through anyway without it. I am not sure I would consent to go one even.

I'm so sorry OP - I hope he pulls through.

Keeping everything crossed for you OP, there’s a chance he will recover and not get to the point where he would need ventilation anyway, lots of elderly people have survived.

My grandmother is in her 90’s and I know if she did get really poorly with Covid it would be cruel to put her through ventilation, it’s a awful thing for anyone to go through and can leave lasting damage (if they survive) including issues with breathing and speech. I know there has been a lot in the press about it being unfair that the elderly are not being taken to hospital for ventilation but the stress it causing even moving a elderly person to hospital is huge

A ventilator would be the wrong path for your dad. I am sorry.

Best wishes for his safe recovery (it happens)

to you, OP, and others going through this. I hope your loved ones pull through.

So sorry OP.
Your dad will know he's loved, believe me.
You sound a lovely daughter.
Don't lose hope, speak to medical professionals.

No, because it would be utterly shit and terrifying for him and ultimately pointless.

Having CV even in his 90s doesn't mean he'll need one though.

And he knows he's loved

So sorry, OP. He is in the best possible place and you sound like a lovely caring daughter.
Are you able to talk to him by phone or video call? If not, is that something you could set up?

Both my parents have died within the last month. They both tested positive for C19 and my mother (87) did die of this, however my Dad who was 91 recovered from the virus and was discharged from hospital to a care home. He died a few weeks after my mum but it was from underlying conditions, he tested negative for the virus just before he died.

I know it's scary, and it ended badly for our family, but it's not a foregone conclusion. It's awful not being able to visit them though - they forget and they don't understand.

I don't think ventilators are age specific, just more on what quality of life the person will have after.
Some people who are in care homes have a DNAR in place and others have stated they do not want to be transferred to hospital in the event where their health deteriorates.
This would all be part of the decision making.
Those with covid diagnosis do survive.

@ivegotdreadfulpmttoday I was in a similar position with a loved one recently. They did use oxygen but they were clear there would be no quality of life or benefit to deliver pressurised oxygen or a ventilator.
People do get better even in that age group more live than die. I know it's a horrible time, but the comfort I take is he was happy in the care home. I am sure your dad was too, by having his needs met he was better off even if it was only for a while

Feeling guilty as I instigated the move to a care home as his needs were too great to be met at home.

I think that's understandable but it's not your fault. You did what you felt was best for your father, I'm sure. I hope the staff are taking very good care of him. Could you send them in a video message for him to watch of you saying you love him and are thinking of him? It might comfort you and him. I'm sure he knows you love him despite this horrible situation.

I feel guilty we placed my dad in residential care , but it is what it is. Too many reasons to go into on here but we do things for love and it was the best thing at the time.
Please don't feel guilty.

There should be nothing stopping one relative per person attending a resident's bed side if their health deteriorates and they are on EOL/paliative.
You need to challenge management at the care home if they're preventing this. You will be required to wear PPE and there will be strict rules but everyone has the right to die with privacy and dignity.

I so sorry OP. Your dad wouldn’t get a ventilator civil or no vivid. Ventilators are to help people recover from illnesses so that they can continue independent lives. Someone who isn’t reasonably independent wouldn’t get a ventilator.

I'm afraid not. Mine didn't.

So sorry your Dad is unwell but agree with the others on this thread. My fit, active, still independtly living 81 year old mum has made it crystal clear that she doesn't want to be ventilated if she caught covid 19. She is a retired intensive care nurse so understands how badly it would go for her. Sending good wishes that he can pull through this on his own.

My gran is 89 and tested positive and is in a care home. She has a DNAR in place. Her body is so frail and tbh the ventilator generally only works in 30% of cases. They need lots of help after because of the impact it has on body muscle. People think it's life-saving and it is for some but it's not all that. I really hope your dad comes through it. Take care x

I'm so sorry- nothing to add but

I hope he will get better, but if he doesn’t, please don’t think he’ll be alone and unloved. My friend works in a care home, and she’s been sitting with patients at the end, holding their hand, and talking to them. He’ll know he’s loved x

The medical profession are learning a lot about this disease on a daily basis worldwide.It seems using a ventilator is not always helpful,as the illness is not showing ARDS as such but more akin to altitude sickness.
So op don’t feel that not getting a ventilator is a bad thing.We have been conditioned to think that a ventilator is the be all and end all as at the start of this pandemic it was all they went on about.Indeed it would be cruel to put him on a ventilator.

I am thinking of you op. It's horrible but there is always hope and I'm sure his carers will do all they can for him.
People of all ages get over this virus.

OP I’m a nurse on a Covid ward and we have been discharging patients in their 90s, please don’t despair.

When my df had pneumonia he was put on a ventilator and they said it was 50/50 he would survive however he did. He seems to be one of those he has nine lives after having septicaemia and a stroke where he came close to the end. Hes 73 and has terminal cancer yet hes strong as an ox so you never know on thinking of you

Am sorry to hear this OP.
I would really recommend speaking to the staff at the home regarding a plan of care. This will involve conversations about the level of intervention which would be considered appropriate in your dads circumstances, including antibiotic therapy, hospital transfer and resuscitation.
But despite all of the desperately sad situations that have and are continuing to happen, COVID is not an automatic death sentence for everyone.
Most importantly, speak to the staff about the options to video call him. Even hearing your voice will bring him comfort. Wishing you both the very best.