I’ve fucked up

[Fuckedopc]

Today is my mum and dads 25th wedding anniversary and a big deal to them.

I’ve not seen them for over 8 weeks and stuck to all the rules. Me DH and DS have all been at home with no contact with anyone.

My mum asked me to come down today and I went with the present (and my own chair and own drink and sat away from my mum and dad and their neighbours as it’s a shared yard garden)

3 other people turned up (neighbours daughter who works with my mum, and friends of my parents) lots of alcohol sloshed about (I took my own) , DH came to pick me up with DS and was obviously not impressed and now isn’t speaking to me.

I feel really shitty about it, in my defence I didn’t know all those people were going to be there. How do I make this right?

[Mascotte]

@Fuckedopc pop over to the Anti Dementor threads for some perspective if you're feeling overwhelmed.

[Bluntness100]

Op of those twelve people how old were they? Did any of them have no underlying conditions? Were any even close to your age range?

Because quite frankly approx 150 healthy people under 65 have died across all four nations.

You do the math on the risk,,,

[MyMonkeyIsATwat]

Considering your update, I think you need to just think that you had a good time and put it out of your mind.

It's over and done, you can't change it but you'll know it the situation arises again if you want to do the same.

It is shit. But it won't be forever

[EthelMayFergus]

I realise there's a risk involved in using a toilet and that's one of the reasons we're told not to meet in gardens, but how can using a private toilet be anywhere near as high risk as a public toilet in a park? Or a picnic table or bench that another person has just vacated compared to op bringing her own chair?

A friend has asked me today to meet her next weekend in a well known park for a catch up, just the two of us, and I won't risk it. I'd be happy for her to come to mine and sit in our garden though (side access), I just think we're at a lower risk - both of our households have stuck to the rules for two months. I've no idea if anyone else at the park will have done.

I don't think you've done anything wrong op, this situation requires common sense and you used that today.

[Flamingodial]

@Bluntness100 do you have the source for that - would love to send to a few friends

[Rachie1973]

Just bollox to it OP. He’ll get over it. Please don’t let guilt spoil it for you. Xxx

[amijustparanoidorjuststoned]

Hi OP - as long as you stuck to social distancing rules there is nothing to worry about. Sitting in the garden is no different to meeting in a park, IMO.

You are right - the media (and MN) like to scaremonger everyone else. I understand why, and it doesn't help that the government have been so vague.

[Chloemol]

Here we go again, break the rules and mnetters all say never mind, I would

1. They are there for a reason, to protect us from you, you may be asymptomatic, and you from anyone else, your parents may be asymptomatic
   
2. The law states groups of more than 2 people not from the same household is against the law
   
3. You sat in the garden, then did the one thing the daily bulletins said was one of the main reasons not to meet in gardens, you used the loo
   

4 You chose to then stay when more neighbours arrived

If I was your partner I would have left you there and not let you come home!

[grumpyorange]

I went to the toilet once.

^ AO not only have you been silly in going over when millions of people are making do with FaceTime you then go to the toilet in their house! Honestly you could've infected them. Well done!

[nannybeach]

I agree with you LatteLoverLovesLate, and cant be bothered post anything else, fed, up with hearing, "Oh, it was special, Birthday,""whatever, Especially as I know someone been in ITU for over a month, no underlying health issues. Would you ever forgive yourself if you suddenly got symptoms and had to notify aeveryonei ncludluing your parents

[Mascotte]

@Chloemol dramatic and unkind.

@grumpyorangethd op hasn't been out to get infected.🤷‍♀️

[chunkyrun]

You're only human op. People aren't meant to live this way. It's hard going. It's done now.

[DamnYankee]

Oh dear...
Dementor alert.
OP - it's done. You went.
Has DH not been to see his parents?
Put it behind you.

[Sandybval]

I'm sure he will get over it OP.

[grumpyorange]

@Mascotte so no one in her house has gone to the shops? I'm presuming they've had to eat?

At the end of the day you can pick it up from anywhere.

[LetsGoFlyAKiteee]

It's done.. dont be to hard on yourself that's not going to help how you feel.

If you haven't been out for 8 weeks hopefully its helped a little. You didnt know people were going to turn up either.

[Fuckedopc]

DHs mum died last year and his dad lives over 100 miles away. We’ve not seen anyone.

I’m getting one word answers from him. I’ve made him his tea and I’m going for a bath.

[Fuckedopc]

I have been to the supermarket once a week.

[Fuckedopc]

I kind of know why I went in a way, as I said I’ve had some dark thoughts.

I read a line in the press earlier about children going back to school and that some children had not seen or played with another child for 8 weeks and that is potentially damaging to them. That is my son, what if I’ve mentally damaged him?

I just wanted the comfort of familiar things.

[lockdowngandt]

What is his problem as long as you socially distanced?! Or is it because you had alcohol?

He sounds a bit like a dick from this post.

[RoosterPie]

@Fuckedopc yes you shouldn’t have done it, which you know, but ignore the tone of the Holier than thou Pharisees on this thread trying to make you feel shit. It’s a tough situation we are all in and you are only human, and had a lapse. I judge you a lot less than some of the sanctimonious cunts on this thread.

[kingkuta]

Your DH is being an arsehole. You had your own chair, own drink and sat over 2m away in the open air. The risk must be negligible. You haven't fucked up. You sound very down and anxious and your DH shouldn't be making this worse.

[ChicCroissant]

Flamingodial the statistics are on the website of the Office of National Statistics. They show England and Wales (separately and combined) and are split by groups such as age and pre-existing conditions.

[Opticabbage]

My partner did something similar and I was really mad. I know the risks weren't that high, but it is really shit when you're sacrificing so much, for your own partner not to make the effort with you. Really makes you wonder why you're bothering to follow the rules.