I think I was naive.

[Gatorgator]

In my head - when this started - twelve weeks was worst case scenario. I knew the virus wouldn’t go away obviously, but I thought after twelve weeks the nhs would be better prepared, we’d know more about the virus and there would be a degree of acceptance that we just have to live alongside it and know there’s an elevated risk. I’m in an at risk category so I’m not just dismissing this risk.
However instead it seems that we are going to live like this indefinitely. I didn’t think theatres, sporting events etc would be open for a long time, nor did I think the travel industry would pick back up, but I did think I’d be able to visit my elderly parents who live two miles down the road.

Now it seems like this is the new normal. All meetings are going to be virtual. We are having (unsuccessful) virtual play dates with other children. The few friends I’m still communicating with I’m mainly messaging but really - if I’m never seeing them again then what’s the point?

There are a couple of big Christmas things nearby that are annual events and they are cancelled. More and more I’m coming to realise that this is it. This is in fact the new normal everyone keeps talking about. Only seeing the people you live with and being terrified to even leave the house to collect something essential like a prescription.

Same here, had plans to move country for work. Parents in their 80s living abroad. Sector I work in depends heavily on tourism and events. I normally work from home, so have no work colleagues, live alone with only 2 family members within reach, quite isolated, so rely on friends, activities, social life to have any kind of life after work.

**Why is it such a miserable existence for you all though?

I can't see my elderly parents and my dcs are missing them terribly after seeing them 3 times per week for all of their lives. My dd was hysterical when saying goodbye.

I can't see my friends who I miss so much.

We have had to cancel family holidays

My dh is furloughed and is an uncertain industry due to covid19, if he loses his job we will be in real difficulty.

My dcs, particularly my 13 year old is struggling mentally with being in the house lots, not seeing family and friends and not going to school. I can see his mental health declining.

My other dcs are struggling to comprehend what's happening and why they can't see friends.

I have an anxiety disorder and have experienced depression before. My coping strategies are going out and about, walking in the countryside, going for a coffee with friends, taking my 3yr old to toddler groups, routine. These have all been taken away from me. I don't drive so can't get to the countryside easily.

It's all so awful. It's an existence, the days are long and monotonous.

I want to wake up and it all be over.

Thank goodness.
TempsPerdu, I agree with everything you say.
We have been following the rules; of course we have. We understand the need to protect the NHS, vulnerable people and keep the R rate down, like most people do.
However, at the same time as this, I think this has been a massive over reaction to a natural part of life.
When this first started my work retrained some of us to take over the frontline work of colleagues for 'when they got ill.' Except, nobody has got ill. Every one of the 30k+ people who have died is a personal tragedy, of course it is. I've been through grief and know the desperation of losing someone you love. But it still makes up only around 0.05% of the population. Even if there is a second wave that might take us to, what, 0.1%? 0.2%? This is NOT our generation's version of Spanish Flu. It's just not. For this who are vulnerable, fair enough. But for the vast, vast majority of people the sacrifice is not worth it. Let's shield those who need it and mitigate the loss of education, businesses, homes, relationship, safeguarding for others.

Only someone so privileged could fail to understand why others are struggling.

I agree with you TempsPerdu.

I am anxious at getting the virus (may have already had it) but would actually rather take my chances than live like this forever.

I think more people will feel this way soon, a lot of people are still thinking lockdown will eradicate it, when they realise it won't it will all change I think.

Why is it such a miserable existence for you all though?

Its not miserable just boring. I'm still working so my life hasnt changed massively but I miss going out for dinner and seeing my friends.

I dothink people have become desensitized to the numbers. 50,000 dead in the UK, with a lockdown, and we’re not even done with the first peak.

I’m more scared of the aggressive looks and tuts from people who think you shouldn’t be within 10 meters of them. I’m worried I’ll be deemed to not be following the ‘rules’ properly.

That's strange because I recently had a discussion with someone about how much friendlier people are since social distancing began.
Instead of just walking past without eye contact strangers now smile and say hello. Perhaps because it feels rude to deliberately move away from someone and a friendly gesture is needed to show it's not personal.
But obv not the same everywhere.

how much friendlier people are since social distancing began. Instead of just walking past without eye contact strangers now smile and say hello

That's been my experience too

No, obviously not the same everywhere or I wouldn’t have mentioned it.

For all those on here who don't live in the UK, were their members of society who blatantly ignored lockdown but you've been able to move forward despite this? I live in Birmingham and I know for a fact that certain inner city areas have stayed exactly the same, buzzing with young people in the street, shaking hands, sharing food and drink, piling into cars to race the empty streets...they will then be going home to their families and this worries me greatly. It must be happening in all large cities which to me would slow the process of "getting back to normal life".

I’m more scared of the aggressive looks and tuts from people who think you shouldn’t be within 10 meters of them. I’m worried I’ll be deemed to not be following the ‘rules’ properly.

Just roll your eyes at them and ask if their paranoia is catching.

@NewLevelsOfTiredness thank you for posting - interesting and a pinprick of light at the end of the tunnel. Yes, I'm hopeful for breakthroughs in treatment and also for the mutations becoming/being changed to become less deadly. Success in virus terms is for it not to cause death. The evidence for this one is that it's not going this way yet, but that many viruses do evolve to become milder on a host rather than the opposite.

It’s the contradictory nature of the regulations that gets me down.
Can go to work on public transport, in schools, even look round a house for sale.......but in order to see my parents they have to leave the safety of their garden and meet me singly in a public place? Ludicrous.

I need a timeline. With alternative scenarios according to R rate if needed. If it’s long timeline then I’ll hunker down and get on with it. But the waffle and contradictions coming out of govt and their advisers is appalling and confusing. That’s what is stressing me out.

We have never stopped in. Gone for exercise, shopping, drives to parks and beaches.
We’ve seen family as well...but yes still bored.
Ready for stage two, cinemas, theatres, restaurants, pubs and bars , sport, activities and proper socialising..and family get togethers.
So though we may be at stage one..once you get there and get used to it..it’s still not normal, it’s still not what it was.

On a good news story note. A very poorly friend, with many health issues got the virus. Even spent a milestone ( 60) birthday in there is now recovering.
They are doing really well and although it was bad , it was not as bad as they feared , they said.
They might be going home very shortly.
This was someone permanently disabled in the shielding group.
We spoke for over an hour when three weeks ago, a short phone call wore them out.
I didnt think they would make it, neither did they...so we are Both very happy.

Why is it such a miserable existence for you all though?

Imagine how privileged you need to be to ask this question.

For all those on here who don't live in the UK, were their members of society who blatantly ignored lockdown but you've been able to move forward despite this?
Yes, but there have been 195 deaths out of 4 million in this region, so it's not comparable. There was never such a strict lockdown as in the UK, and it's felt very theoretical even for those following the rules.

@Dowser what wonderful news about your friend!
I saw, yesterday I think it was, a woman in Spain who is 113 years old recovered from the virus! Bloody astonishing, just wow!

IMO evolution and our basic instincts will take precedent over the restrictions on us. Humans have evolved to be together with others to survive as a species (most basically - no couples, no sex, no babies, no survival). I’m no expert just think that basic instincts will prevail at some point and this ‘new normal’ won’t last!

Humans have evolved to adapt to prevailing conditions and do whatever is necessary to survive

@randomer I think retired people do need to accept that they may need to make a different/bigger sacrifice than working people and their children. By definition retired people are not making the most valuable contribution to our economy- yes, some of them help by volunteering or by providing childcare for working parents. But it is vitally important that people who want to work, can. And for a child, time stretches endlessly - my DD hasn't seen her friends for 7 weeks, to her that feels like a lifetime. For an older person, time passes more rapidly - that is a fact. And, in truth, our future as a society relies more on adequately educating our children, not in helping retired people to enjoy themselves.

If I had to pick a group who needed to make a sacrifice, I would pick the oldest generation.

As for whether BAME people should be asked to stay in isolation, that's quite interesting. Certainly I think that we should all be offered a Vitamin D test, and offered a supplement if we are deficient. I'd like then to see a study to show if this helps reduce the severity of the virus in BAME populations. So yes, I would like to see some discrimination in favour of BAME people. I think, if there was a scientific recommendation that shielding BAME would help, then it would be sensible to try and sculpt policy and law to help with that - eg making it illegal to fire a BAME person for insisting on continuing to WFH.

@Whylurkwhenicanjoinin
For all those on here who don't live in the UK, were their members of society who blatantly ignored lockdown but you've been able to move forward despite this?

Yeah, as I mentioned there were plenty out and about in Denmark. I live in one of the suburbs near Copenhagen so it's no the quietest area. However, the city centre wasn't as you describe. To be honest even most of the small groups of youths I saw seemed to have embraced the elbow-bump instead of the hug when they separated.

However during one of the warm weekends there were pictures of one of the popular waterfront chillout parks absolutely swamped with people. A fine specifically for gathering in this and other areas had to be introduced.

Our lockdown wasn't quite as severe to be fair. We weren't told to limit to one trip outside the house a day or anything.

I dothink people have become desensitized to the numbers. 50,000 dead in the UK, with a lockdown, and we’re not even done with the first peak.

Exactly. And it was "only" 50,000 because we locked down. Imagine what it would have been if we didn't? People saying now that it's not that bad are able to say that because we locked down. It's foolish to assume that the death rate would be this.low had we not locked down

I can’t understand why people aren’t more angry that China did this to all of us.

@Rhodri and others who talk about being angry with "China" can you be specific about what you mean?

China is the name of a country. Do you mean all Chinese people? The poor Chinese people who can only afford to get their food from the markets which are the alleged source of the virus? The Chinese Government?

I think it's more useful to be specific as otherwise we risk the sort of blanket racism (not you) that is served up by arseholes like Donald Trump.