How long would you realistically comply with not visiting family?

[Lizzy20201]

I couldn’t give a flying fuck about pubs, shops, etc... not being open (aside from potentially losing my job!) but not being able to see my family is doing my head in. I am moving back in with parents come end of June as my tenancy is ending and right now isn’t a good time for house hunting. If I wasn’t moving back in with them, I realistically think if I couldn’t see them by July, I’d be tempted to go see them anyway. And I mean properly, not 2 metres away.

How long realistically until people will make their own judgment (ie, if no one is at risk) and go and see family? Or friends?

I haven’t broken lockdown rules to date and don’t plan too, I’m just wondering what people’s ‘breaking point’ will be.

This is why I don’t believe the doom-mongering “this is the new normal of Zoom calls and not seeing family til 2021” as I believe at some point people’s wish to socialise will kick in and enough will be enough. Long term, I don’t think social distancing past in public places will be reasonably obeyed with. Ie, we could have 2m distance in restaurants and shops to respect the vulnerable, but in private I believe people will make their own calls.

Opinions?

Also, I understand if you are shielding this may impact you more heavily. This is why I hope a vaccine is found sooner rather than later so it doesn’t come to this.

August bank holiday (DF birthday) or Christmas, but I can’t not comply as it involves a very long journey.

**their MH would suffer if they didn't see anyone
This is the problem isn’t it. The elderly especially are less tech savvy and less connected.

According to government statistics, there have been 32,000 odd deaths due to covid. Yet we have had 50,000 more deaths so far this year than last. Some will be unreported covid cases. Some will be lack of medical care due to diverted resources. But it does make you wonder, particularly with the elderly, how many have just given up.

Icanttakethiscrapanymore the rules allow you to move into a new household if you need to. If you are not safe at home please don’t stay

Have the goalposts really shifted to vaccine not flatten curve? I didn’t get that memo.

In my my mind the government restriction is just guidance and just because it’s lifted doesn’t mean the risk to the over 70s and other vulnerable groups goes away. I presume the government will give us an arbitrary time to lift the restriction as and when they feel the public can handle it no more - but it will by no means mean it is “safe” if a vaccine is not available at that point. It is important to remember for those that are not elderly or otherwise vulnerable that the vast majority get a mild version. DM is early 70s, high BP but otherwise healthy and fortunately shook it off quickly except for a lingering cough. I’m now making my own risk assessments - means for me I’m seeing DM (we’ve both had CV already) and not seeing MIL as she hasn’t had it and been really strict on isolation so we don’t want to jeopardise that. We went to see DSIL to drive by and do a 2 m distance chat but ended up that we sat outside and DH sat next to her so social distancing went out of the window.

I'm lucky that my parents are two minutes walk away and I've walked my dog past twice so I've seen them from their garden. I mostly phone them and then we just laugh because we've got nothing to talk about. DH's parent aren't here anymore. I regularly chat with friends and other family over the phone I'm not actually bothered about seeing anyone at the moment

Smilethoyourheartisbreaking

Same with my Grandma.

September. By then my parents will have missed 6 months of their only (and there will not be any more) grandchild and it will be her first birthday.

We haven’t been out (all shopping delivered) and so neither they so the risk is miniscule. It will be far greater risk when I’m back at work.

I work with patients that have covid-19 as well as those who don't...but could have, just don't know. Sometimes near impossible to social distance, as they are in tiny bays of 4 and as I am a midwife I offer breastfeeding support, hands on hand expressing support as sometimes these things NEED hands on. As well as things like examinations ect. As much as I do have PPE and keep hand hygiene, I obviously worry that I could catch it and bring it home to my own household. Let alone then bring it to my family outside, my young sister is vulnerable so that is my mums household out and my father in law is so that is my in laws house out.

My kids keep crying and are so upset about not seeing family and I am at work 4 long days a week. But I have no idea when I could realistically, safely have contact with them for their sake. It is so hard for us all and I feel guilty that my job is putting a stricter restriction in place for the sake of my kids. It isn't something I had ever considered when I trained to do this. In my head I have August/September but who knows what could change between now and then.

So you can send your kids back to school come June but not see your family, you can have unlimited exercise and travel to different towns and costal locations but not not see your family, you can go to work from this week but again not see your family.

So your allowed to be around others but not your own and people are saying 'we will wait on the government to tell us what we can do' but only last week they were telling us to stay home, now it's stay alert and come out yet the death toll is the highest in Europe and even around the world bar the USA

So when is safe? When the government say lol!

The very person that made up these rules had to resign for getting caught seeing his married lover. That man could have possibly infected two households, then infected work colleagues and so on and so on and so on.

I agree to staying away from vulnerable members or members with chronic illness/conditions.

I used to volunteer at a community centre for the elderly a few years ago, this centre was a lifeline to many that came and for many sadly it was their only social interaction. 11 have sadly passed away in the last month, none had corona or so I am told. I am being told by some good friends who still work their that this is down to loneliness, stress, trauma of not being able to come out or see their loved ones even suicide in one case.

I have saw various family members in this time, i do not feel the need to even name change to say that either, I have my reasons and I am sure everyone else who is doing the same has their reasons too.

I see my mum. We sit 2m away in her large garden. We are very close and as my lovely dad only passed away in February after 59 years of marriage my mum is living alone for the first time in her life. Fortunately she only lives in the next road. I think mum's mental health would really suffer if we didn't see one another.I only really see my ds and son and she less people so it's low risk. We have had to discourage my brother from driving 2 hours up the country to visit her and sit in the garden. He lives in an area that is a hotspot too. I know he's desperate to see family and we want to see him too but you can't take chances like that.

“ Have the goalposts really shifted to vaccine not flatten curve? I didn’t get that memo.”

That memo has been out for quite some time.

Gacha “I used to volunteer at a community centre for the elderly a few years ago, this centre was a lifeline to many that came and for many sadly it was their only social interaction. 11 have sadly passed away in the last month, none had corona or so I am told. I am being told by some good friends who still work their that this is down to loneliness, stress, trauma of not being able to come out or see their loved ones even suicide in one case.”

Sadly this doesn’t surprise me at all.

A pp mentioned elderly not being tech savvy. I live alone. Tech is no use whatsoever.

I don't plan on seeing family until Christmas.

We only see each other maybe twice a year anyway because we live a long way apart.

For me it's more bizarre people seeing their parents and siblings every week. I'd go bonkers with my family if I had that much contact. A monthly phone call is sufficient for me.

Until they feel its safe for me to come. Both are vulnerable

I usually see them once a month and text every day (still dojng the texting)

I've resigned myself for a very long wait. DS is a teacher and his partner is an A&E nurse we are in our 60s so none of us consider it safe at the moment. Last saw them in February.

Thighmageddon I don’t consider you bizarre, why would you think others are just because they do things differently? My family are good company. My mum lives 300 miles away but normally I still see her weekly. It doesn’t drive me bonkers. I’m glad the level of contact you have is sufficient. I hope that doesn’t have an impact on how you feel people who like more contact should react to current restrictions.

I dont have any relationship with my family so haven't seen them in over a year. However, it was my daughter's 2nd birthday earlier this month and not having my friends and their kids over for a little party was hard. My DD(2) is very close to my friend's son (3) so she was heartbroken.

Sadly, some people will never see their families again.

Ivinghoe I didn't say I find YOU bizarre, it's that I find the concept of so much contact bizarre.

I also said it would drive me bonkers, I wasn't saying it should drive everyone bonkers.

I was simply stating an alternative opinion.

Already. But there was a non zero chance of my hurting myself, and I got over the virus weeks ago.