How long would you realistically comply with not visiting family?

[Lizzy20201]

I couldn’t give a flying fuck about pubs, shops, etc... not being open (aside from potentially losing my job!) but not being able to see my family is doing my head in. I am moving back in with parents come end of June as my tenancy is ending and right now isn’t a good time for house hunting. If I wasn’t moving back in with them, I realistically think if I couldn’t see them by July, I’d be tempted to go see them anyway. And I mean properly, not 2 metres away.

How long realistically until people will make their own judgment (ie, if no one is at risk) and go and see family? Or friends?

I haven’t broken lockdown rules to date and don’t plan too, I’m just wondering what people’s ‘breaking point’ will be.

This is why I don’t believe the doom-mongering “this is the new normal of Zoom calls and not seeing family til 2021” as I believe at some point people’s wish to socialise will kick in and enough will be enough. Long term, I don’t think social distancing past in public places will be reasonably obeyed with. Ie, we could have 2m distance in restaurants and shops to respect the vulnerable, but in private I believe people will make their own calls.

Opinions?

Also, I understand if you are shielding this may impact you more heavily. This is why I hope a vaccine is found sooner rather than later so it doesn’t come to this.

@XDownwiththissortofthingX 🤣🤣. God, I'm missing the pub so much.

I don't live very close to my family, and we are all observing the lockdown - but some of us are key workers so still working.
At the moment I miss them, but I can cope with zoom etc instead for a bit.
I would be gutted if I was the one to give it them, or they gave it to me and I passed it to work colleagues.

I have been 100% compliant. Now the goalposts have shifted from flattening the curve to waiting for a vaccine I will not be waiting any longer to see my parents. I will see them in their garden or a park.

I'm already seeing mine and have been all the way through, but it's always outside and from 6 feet away. Both my parents live alone and although I would be ok not seeing them, their MH would suffer if they didn't see anyone.

I've struggled not seeing my DS for seven weeks and he's coming back next week (for a valid reason) if he wasn't coming back for that I'd be breaking rules to see him now.

My resolve is weakening... I'm a single parent to three so I can't even meet them outside, but I could allow a stranger into my house if it was on the market to sell, how is that in anyway right!

Once the kids go back to school and they are mixing with anyone then I will definitely be seeing my parents!

We saw DPs in mid-March (the weekend before lockdown) and DMIL at New Year.

We won’t see either until the weekend after 20th July at the earliest. Probably both the same trip.

We also have not seen more extended family who live near us in that time. Apart from 1 DAunt whose house is literally on my walking route so have seen her in her garden once.

We have done a lot of letter writing, phone calls and videoconferencing though - including a weekly family quiz on zoom to connect 6 adult DCs, their families and the older DPs; and a fortnightly zoom on the other side for the 3 adult DCs, their families and the older DP.

I'm shielding so it will be a long time I reckon.

It's harder knowing other people can meet up in parks now.

Glad we have videocalls so I can see my mum is ok without actually putting her or me at risk.

A friend's DM in in end of life care, so shielded (at home) CV would be deadly. But she likely has weeks left. What would be better for her... Shielding to protect her... Or a last few happy weeks with her children and grandchildren

I think in these circumstances that seeing family and improving the quality of her remaining life is absolutely key. I believe that this was within the recommendations for people being shielded too- that individuals with limited life expectancy could make their own choices.

My parents wouldn't let us visit even if I tried. They have been well and truly terrified into the "we will die if we step outside or anyone comes in" mindset. My DM's current thinking is nothing changes until there is a vaccine. Even if government guidance allows family visits she won't.

I do follow the guidance though, even that which I disagree with. So I won't visit family or friends until it is advised. Not because I think the risks are great but because I need better reasons to go against law and guidance and right now I'm not at the stage of thinking it's worth going against them. I

I will be seeing them in a couple of weeks. If my 3 year old is able to go back to pre-school soon where no matter what they say, social distancing is not possible between other children and the key workers - she can dam well she her grandparents.

Watching the morning news today apparently it's safe to go and view a house , presumably with the inhabitants in it, but it is not safe to see my family in their house or even outside if there is more than one of them.

Firstly, I'm no supporter of this government or how they have handled this crisis.

But, I can see the reason why they are allowing some things such as the above, and not others. Basically, there are not that many people buying a new house, so there will be limited numbers doing house viewings.

However, if they say "everyone can now visit their families" every household in the land will suddenly start mixing again. Say they said you can see family. Guaranteed there would be people going "ok, so how come I can see my family but somehow it's not ok to see my friends? What's the difference, it's still people, still in a house" etc. The whole point is they are trying to do this gradually and measure the effect on infection.

I'm with the " wouldn't bother me if I never saw them again " few
They've showed themselves to be fucking utter cunts . I'm no angel and I've probably not helped with my crazed outbursts but when I'm close to a full mental breakdown and I get to to "stop being needy , you're just like mum, there are worse off " crying on the phone Because I just need some support from siblings they might as well tell me they don't give a fuck
Nope , no rush here
These were the first to use the #Bekind mantra .. unbelievable

A couple more weeks. I don't see the point of a life where it's safe enough for me to go to work and see loads of people but not to see the people I love.

I have been 100% compliant. Now the goalposts have shifted from flattening the curve to waiting for a vaccine I will not be waiting any longer to see my parents. I will see them in their garden or a park

I agree with this. When I can, I'll see my DD and my parents in a garden or park too. I think over the next weeks, me are going to have to learn to live with the virus. We'll have to modify risk-but if we all lockdown until there's a vaccine rolled out that can achieve herd immunity, there won't be any money to pay for the NHS, let alone the furlough scheme.

I hope that by July there'll be some clarity on best treatment from the RECOVER trial and some news on the Oxford vaccine trial. But we simply can't stay in until there's a cure or until we're all vaccinated.

Ready for the flaming but don’t care. I’ve already seen my parents, you can access their garden without going through the house, they sat about 5m away. We didn’t touch anything other than the chairs we sat on (which they haven’t touched since)
If it’s safe for me to meet a different person everyday surrounded by strangers in a park then it’s safe for me to sit 5m from my parents in their garden away from everyone else

I'll stick with the rules for as long as it takes and after that as long as I feel is right. It's not easy, but I don't want to put anyone's health at risk any more than I have to and I certainly don't want to be the one who passes into family which could have been avoided.

their MH would suffer if they didn't see anyone
This is the problem isn’t it. The elderly especially are less tech savvy and less connected. My parents don’t have the internet or know how to use a computer. They don’t have smartphones or Netflix. My Dad reads but my Mum has a disability that makes it difficult for her to read anything longer than a news article. They live in sheltered accommodation with no garden so the most they can do is sit on the doorstep. Previously it wasn’t a problem because they were out every day. My Dad came to my house most days to walk my dog and potter in my garden because he doesn’t have one. At first they coped but it’s now two months and they’re struggling.

I've been seeing DM the entire time, as I've been suffering badly with pregnancy sickness, fatigue and bouts of depression. That with a 2 year old was causing my MH to deteriorate and having panic attacks. If I wasn't pregnant or didn't already have a toddler then I wouldn't have done but I did what I needed to get by. We haven't seen DHs family though and will wait until we're advised to do so.

I lasted six weeks. I am autistic and my mental health deteriorated to the point of starting to cut myself again. My doctor advised me to allow my mum to visit.

I came close to breaking point a few weeks again when DDad was rushed to hospital (non-virus related but life threatening). Dsis is due to have her baby in the next few days: I am wondering how old he will be when I finally get to cuddle him.

Yes the very elderly 80+ are less tech savvy but tech is becoming so easy to use, especially tablets and smartphones.

I think most people would be able to use WhatsApp if someone else sets it up for them.

I'm considering visiting my dsis soon. would have done it already if she didnt live so far away probably. she lives 1 1/2 hr drive away.
I agree that after the latest shitshow of briefings, announcements and "guidance" the time has come to make our own risk assessments and decisions. I do not buy how I could potentially: emply a cleaner to come into my home for unlimited time each week, employ a nanny as above, move house, maybe get a new kitchen fitted involving several tradespeople in my house for weeks,go to a park/beach/beauty spot with my entire family for a picnic and sit (2m apart) from possibly hundreds of other families doing the same thing for hours at a time, send all my dc to school (me and dh both keyworkers but so far dc have been at home),go to work where I encounter around 50 people a day, dh go to work in a school, go shopping and queue for over an hour with around 50 other people to get into the shop etc.....BUT I am NOT allowed to go and sit 2m apart from my sister in her garden and chat to her.....that to me is just total bollocks so sod it.

My parents are both over 70 but I want to see them so much. I would rather have had that restriction lifted than anything else. Used to see them at least once a week pre lockdown and the thought they might die (not necessarily from Covid but due to their age) without seeing them is tearing me apart. Also pregnant so want them to meet their grandson.
However I'd feel incredibly guilty if I went over there and they got sick. So I honestly don't know but am pretty sure we won't see them this side of Christmas.

I'm reaching the point where I don't care about anything anymore. Exhausted, no pleasure in anything, lost all my savings and nothing to look forward to.

My dm came into my house a couple of nights ago. Friday my “d”h was violently abusive. She’d supported me via phone/text over the weekend but Monday night I broke and she came over. Thank god she did because I dread to think what I’d of done to myself if she didn’t.
So now my neighbours are not only judging me for my “d”h actions but had a good gossip because we broke social distancing rules.

Truth right now I’m thinking sod it. I need my family more than ever but I’d never forgive myself if I infected them so I’m going back to the “rules.”
I don’t know how long I will be able to cope without them but I’m going to try.