Frustration with people and their views over lockdown

[Flossie44]

Is it ok to be so soooo fed up with people moaning about lockdown and how they can’t go on holiday, or go to the pub etc etc??!! Literally gonna loose my rag over it soon!!

Feel so sad that those people can’t look at the bigger picture. People have died. Families have been left, unable to attend funerals or able to unite in grief. People are alone to stay safe.

It seems, and I know I’m generalising here so don’t shoot me, but it seems the ones that predominantly moan, are those that are fit and well. Not those that are having to endure the loneliness of shielding.

We are shielding for my daughter, aged 11. It means her elder sister can’t go back to school when they open. It means her elder brother is isolating at uni, alone, in order to keep his sister safe. It means my husband is working from home, which isn’t easy. It means our nurses can’t come to our home and help with my daughters care. So I’m dealing with that myself. We are relying on volunteers to help us get prescriptions etc. I feel inadequate that I can’t go and do this myself.
And all this hasn’t got an end date, or an exit plan.

We can’t moan..we are doing this to stay safe. But boy oh boy, do I want to cry that it’s like this. It highlights that dd is ill.

So why do these healthy people who can still go and do their own shopping eyes get out, moan!!

I completely agree.

It’s as if people have suddenly flipped a switch on their views - two weeks ago, everyone was bleating about how important it is to stick to the lockdown rules. Now people are practically encouraging the breaking of them!

I work in a primary school, so I’m really angry and worried about the proposition to reopen schools to young pupils from 1st of June. Absolute stupidity from the government.

I am one of the moaners!

I am not shielding although I have Crohns and am 3 years past cancer. I have pernicious anemia too.

I am shopping for my household, DM and DMIL.

I am not furloughed and am exhausted with the amount of work I have to do. Our company is really struggling so the majority of staff being furloughed is a godsend.

As such although I am one of the lucky ones I don't know how.much lingering can go on with this before I am so exhausted I am ill.

Things aren't always quite as clear cut as they look.

The people I feel most sorry for are those in their late teens and early 20s. They are missing their education, coming of age experiences and their prospects are permanently lowered by this lockdown. And they are at zero personal risk but are asked to do this to keep the over 65s alive. It is madness and they have every right to complain.

I’m in my early 20s and will carry on like this to protect the lives of others.

I’m not selfish.

I agree OP. I'm shielded and most of the "I can't do this" crowd are those that are fit and well and able to go outside and exercise and go food shopping. Lots of people who have conditions meaning they are shielded have associated mental health problems such as depression and anxiety due to chronic pain, cancer, reduced mobility etc. It seems they only the mental health of the physically well is important. So many claims of being locked in or under house arrest when they can go out to exercise and food shop. We've been at home for 8 weeks and are unlikely to step outside of our boundary for another 10 according to my GP advice. My three dc haven't complained once. They are 5, 11, and 13 and would like to be able to go places and see friends at school but they are accepting of the situation and just getting on with it. The lack of resilience in society is worrying and needs addressing somehow in the future. I've no idea how but so many people seem very fragile and unable to cope even those that have no MH issues., it's worrying.

I'm sort of the opposite. I had a slightly heated discussion with my sister this evening because she genuinely believes we should be in lockdown until there is a vaccine, and that vaccine has been administered to large portions of the country. She thinks all children should be off school for years if that's what it takes, and that we should all sit in our houses and do nothing but eat our government delivered food parcels because we won't have jobs.
She's living in cloud cuckoo land with no idea of the repercussions in my opinion.
(To be clear I definitely don't think lockdown should be lifted immediately, but the idea that this situation could go on indefinitely is delusional.)

I'm very concerned about my children's mental health and development. One is getting ever more anxious despite my best efforts and one is regressing in speech and social skills rapidly.

It's not black and white anymore than any issue is black and white. So while I support the goal of keeping people alive and will follow the rules I am deeply concerned about my family and will continue to be so regardless of whether or not you think it's ok.

I agree.
Moaning because they can go back to work but not see loved ones. Um yep, we all miss our loved ones, friends.

They cant lift everything in one go. It had to be one of the other. If they haf said yeah get visiting your family and friends but dontcwirk, people would be moaning about jobs, wages etc.

I'm sick of people in mumsnet world gloating and marvelling at their ability to bend and break the rules to what suits them such as saying things like .... by going to work and mixing with 20 other people for 7 hours a day then i may as well pop into see mum, dad and aunty Doris and take the kids with me.

I've just seen someone say if they are allowed to meet 1 person from another household outside then the whole house hold can get together with a whole other household at the park as it 1 person each!! They don't seem ashamed or embarrassed that they aren't really behaving in way to limit/slow/reduce the spread. It's look how clever selfish little me is.

It's like im finding it tougher than you Top Trumps with lots of lame excuses of yes but this has happened, but my family has this problem blah blah blah.

People need to appreciate we are in a country of 60 odd million people and we need to keep on top of this virus somehow and we can't keep everyone happy all of the time. Everyone is having tough days, weeks and their own challenges but I'm really getting pissed off with the selfishness and attitude.

Totally with you OP and thanking my lucky stars I'm living in Wales today where our rules are clear and concise, although were not without issues and problems too.

Yep - I can't believe how selfish so many people are being over this. I'm far from having an easy time of it myself - I have a 2 year old and 6 month old twins. Prior to lockdown, the toddler was in nursery, I had family help, I had a Homestart volunteer and I had various options for getting out of the house to keep me sane. Except for DH (when he's not working), my entire support system has disappeared, and it's tough and I'm knackered - but it's what I have to do, and I'll do it for as long as necessary. It's not going to be forever and compared to what some previous generations have been through, it's not a lot to ask.

PowerslidePanda reaching out to you lovely. You sound so sensible and realistic. And not shortsighted at all. So many others are so blinkered and cant see beyond their own hardship of not being able to do simple things.

Oh I'm a moaner after tonight and thoroughly fed up of it all now! Living in Wales so still on the Draconian Lockdown.

Lone parent of a 5 year old, WFH 40+ hour week. I'm at breaking point, DS has suspected ADHD and seperation anxiety, I have PTSD depression and anxiety, and now all my English friends are going to be posting images of them having picnics in the sunshine or playing football in the park and I'm stuck inside still.

I burden everything, the homeschooling the career, the bank balance, the ever growing bills because at home equals more costs on food and utilities. The constant arguments between me and DS. If I concentrate on working I'm neglecting DS who likes to destroy my house, if I concentrate on DS I neglect my workload. There's no give, I'm balancing everything up in the air. I sit alone at night for hours nobody to talk to, adult human contact is nil practically at the moment. I'm based from shops like BandQ, people glare at me because I have a child with me doing the weekly shop, and I'm fed up of screaming all day at him.

I literally feel like slitting my own throat some nights just to make it all end. The pressure, the imprisonment, the constant stress.

I'm done with it.

Oh I moan about it constantly, worried for Job. New relationship (finally) that was going great probably won’t last as he is stuck in another country and no idea when he can come back . Single parent . Still at work ( which is actually a good thing for my MH) but it’s like Groundhog Day . Either at work or stuck at hone trying to entertain bored dc . Lonely . However I tend to just complain aloud to myself because other people are going through far worse .

But yes I’m sticking to the rules because it’s the right thing to do and will continue to do so obviously

I was talking to my 16 year old daughter today about it and she says it just taking a bit of time out to protect our self's and others. If it takes a year and we are still alive then we will have loads of time. She's Missing out on all the end of school stuff her prom dress is paid for and still going to get it for her. But she understands that we can't do the stuff we want and see people we really want. Unlike her 15 year old brother who goes out for his daily exercise for 10 hours yesterday.
We will get back to some normal some time

I'm frustrated too, OP.

But I'm frustrated the opposite way: that folk don't see that the price we're being asked to pay could be too high. That the problems we're storing up for future by trying to stop cv19 are beyond horrendous. That all our choices are all bad. That cv19 actually isn't a scary disease for most people. It's hard to get not easy to get if you barely spend time with other people.

No one cares what I think, either. I have to put up with being a 'hawk' surrounded by 'a society of doves'. Does that make you feel better?

lljkk no, it doesn’t really make me feel better. To be honest, the thing that will make me feel better is that my shielded daughter, is protected and stays safe during this pandemic.

Your daughter is ill and that’s your reality. However, for many other people their reality is that their mental health is crumbling as they are away from their support networks or because of financial worries or because they are struggling to cope. We all have different pressures and people are feeling it in different ways. Tonight, I am facing the possibility that I’m not going to have human interaction with anyone but my husband for a year. My family live 200 miles away and my inlaws are in another country. My local friends are either shielding or, if we get to the point of households mixing my friends will (rightfully) be seeing their parents. I understand you’re scared for your daughter. But I want to hug my mum. I have other worries like I’ll never see my grandparents again. Tonight though, I will moan because I want to hug my mum.

I totally understand your sadness. I miss my mum too. They too live 200 miles away. It’s devastating

lljkl they way I feel tonight, I completely agree with you.

The global economic disaster looming is far worse than covid 19. But everyone wants to be a hero and competitive staying indoors should be an Olympic sport.

When mass unemployment, a depression, homelessness and starving families are the new norm perhaps "lessons will be learnt" 🙄

Completely agree with you OP.

I’m with @lljkk. while I don’t think this situation should be changed immediately, I am becoming more and more concerned about the longer term impacts of this situation. The poverty that a severe recession will cause will do more damage I believe.

We simply can’t continue like this forever

@lljkk yep I agree with you. It is absolutely dreadful that people have died but we need to learn to live with the virus at some point. At the minute I literally go to work and come home on a loop, basically living to work and I am getting sick of it. My children don’t understand why they can’t see their family/friends. I am in Scotland so still on the draconian lockdown as another poster stated, hoping at the end of this period A more relaxed approach will be taken especially in those areas, like mine, with low case numbers. I refuse to be crucified for missing my hair appointments etc and for being worried about how we can keep a roof over our heads and food on the table

I'm 21 op and back from uni, I definitely think that some people are selfish and dont realise the seriousness of the situation. My grandfather lives with us and will die if he gets the illness, as likely would my parents, and is the main reason why I'm isolating. However the stats are very clear, if you are young and otherwise healthy, this virus is of very little relative danger to you, if you showed symptoms at all. As such o think its perfectly reasonable for people my age begin resuming life, as an economics student the consequences of lockdown in the economy are going to make 2008 look horrific, but allowing out those younger people will reduce its severity. Coming in to the workforce in a recession is massively damaging to long term prospects, so this must also be accounted for when preventing young people from working.

Sorry that should read make 2008 look mild*

I also think the time will come soon where people will be more interested in themselves and their own families than the sacrifices for the greater good e.g. people they don’t know

@Eyewhisker You have articulated my very thoughts. It is surprising that there are no signs of rebellion form the young people yet.
I'm awfully sorry for anyone who has lost their loved ones or is at increased risk but we gave NHS time to catch up. Now it is time to adjust to living with it. This is not to say that OP's child doesn't matter but as a society we need to do what's best for the survival of the majority. Bit harsh but true.
@OP Would it be possible for your DS at uni to come home, isolate in a separate room for 2 weeks before joining the rest of the family?