Frustration with people and their views over lockdown

[Flossie44]

Is it ok to be so soooo fed up with people moaning about lockdown and how they can’t go on holiday, or go to the pub etc etc??!! Literally gonna loose my rag over it soon!!

Feel so sad that those people can’t look at the bigger picture. People have died. Families have been left, unable to attend funerals or able to unite in grief. People are alone to stay safe.

It seems, and I know I’m generalising here so don’t shoot me, but it seems the ones that predominantly moan, are those that are fit and well. Not those that are having to endure the loneliness of shielding.

We are shielding for my daughter, aged 11. It means her elder sister can’t go back to school when they open. It means her elder brother is isolating at uni, alone, in order to keep his sister safe. It means my husband is working from home, which isn’t easy. It means our nurses can’t come to our home and help with my daughters care. So I’m dealing with that myself. We are relying on volunteers to help us get prescriptions etc. I feel inadequate that I can’t go and do this myself.
And all this hasn’t got an end date, or an exit plan.

We can’t moan..we are doing this to stay safe. But boy oh boy, do I want to cry that it’s like this. It highlights that dd is ill.

So why do these healthy people who can still go and do their own shopping eyes get out, moan!!

Lots of people have absolutely crap resilience. A colleague of mine was crying the other day because she'd gotten frustrated at her kids asking her questions about schoolwork. It wouldnt enter my head to cry about stuff like that. I'm a get on with it sort of person, so quite enjoying lockdown. But if you dare to say that anywhere on mn, you get jumped on for having no empathy etc. As a family we've been through loads in the last few years that half the people on here wouldnt dream of going through in their worse nightmare, but we just got through it because we had to. Just ignore the moaners they will never change.

@Flossie44 🌷

I'm fed up of people moaning about it too.

I'm fed up with people who do not understand the R rate & how dangerous lifting the restrictions is. Who do not understand that having done a light lockdown for a few weeks we are gradually reducing the R - it is NOT the time to do what they're doing in England

People have stalked the kool aid about us not being able to afford it - we can - listen to the economists - not the politicians.

When hundred of thousands of people have died it'll all be 'lessons will be learnt' and then peoples fault'.

We NEED to stay in lockdown for a few more weeks - Govt needs to be stronger & people need to accept it's the VIRUS causing the issues NOT the lockdown

Best of luck keeping DD safe 🌷

I live alone and I'm turning me8, this year I was going to make more of a conscious effort to try and find my lifelong partner, well that's not going to happen a and if it continues into future years then it's looking really bleak for me.

I also live on my own, it's not like you can speak to someone everyday, I can go days not saying anything except talk to myself and you cant keep calling friends or family constantly.

This isnt really a life sorry it just isn't. I had one of my best years last year made so many dreams come true but whilst this is okay for short time if it turns into years than no thanks I'd rather not.

38*

People will also be moaning when unemployment hits 20%. It’s going to be very hard to self-isolate without a house.

I think when I started this thread, maybe it seemed that I was just fed up with moaners and shielding etc. Which I am!
However all the things you’ve all said in terms of money worries, not being able to see family, not seeing different faces etc. How uni will change etc etc. That all effects me too. It effects everyone. It’s not a competition. All that loneliness is with us all. But we are doing it for a reason. To keep the vulnerable alive.
Those people who are lucky enough to have good health, maybe have never been touched with the fear of near death or extreme ill health, maybe have a different prospective on all of this. Until you’ve been touched by feeling vulnerable and your life in the balance, I don’t think you’ll realise the fear behind this virus.
I too have the economic fears. They’re real too.

That all effects me too. It effects everyone. It’s not a competition. All that loneliness is with us all.

No it's not. Some people are actually isolated totally alone with no family. Count yourself lucky you got to have one.

There's definitely no "same boat" some are locked in with families, able to get food and medicine delivered and are pretty much living it up in comparison to the many who live isolated lonely lives with no assistance.

It must be nice to be sat in a ivory tower with everything being delivered, minimal change to your income and all having fun.

Then maybe think of the single 30 year old mum, who has to WFH, do the food shop, has no company, has work pressures still, childcare issues still, financial worries still as the cost of living has increased and the future economy is looking bleak and taxes will be higher.

Thing is , some people when on a sinking ship are happy to jump over board to drown faster, rather than a long painful drawn out death.

So you feel that no one elsehas the right to complain about things, unless they are in a similar or worse situation than you?

Actually those who are fit and well going out and about will make it safer for your daughter. It makes it substantially more likely that financial support for those who are shielding someone in the household can remain off of work until it's safer, and support for those who need it ie the food boxes can go on for longer meaning they don't have to resort to going food shopping. If we just all stay home for years the fallout will be substantial; there are issues and risks beyond covid. And people can moan about what they want, it doesn't mean that they don't care about people dying, it just means they are frustrated with the situation. Your experience and feelings are understandably different because of your daughter, but there will come a time people aren't prepared to lose everything for people they don't know. It's far more sustainable to have a controlled plan and reopening, this isn't going away until we (hopefully) get a vaccine rolled out, which could realistically take years.

Also perhaps a certain irony to moaning about people not seeing the bigger picture when it seems you can't either? Basically everyone's feelings are valid in my opinion.

I absolutely haven’t said no one has the right to complain. Everyone is finding this hard. Everyone’s situation is different. I’ve not once said anyone is worse. I just said I’m fed up with people moaning they can’t go on holiday or have luxuries right now.
I’m absolutely NOT sat in an ivory tower, with everything being delivered, with no change to my income and all having fun. I haven’t once stated this. Quite the opposite. It’s utterly horrid. I hate it. I hate the money worries, not being able to see my son, knowing he’s on his own entirely, we have had our finances turned upside down leading to money worries. And we are definitely NOT having fun!! So don’t presume you know me!!

I am just fed up with people complaining to me right now!! I’ve got my own worries!! Big, life or death worries. Don’t ever judge my world. I won’t waste my time to explain!!

𝗪𝗘 𝗔𝗥𝗘 𝗡𝗢𝗧 𝗜𝗡 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗦𝗔𝗠𝗘 𝗕𝗢𝗔𝗧

I've been hearing "we are all in the same boat" a lot recently, but it's not exactly right. We are all in the same storm. Your ship could be shipwrecked and mine might not be. Mine could be a small rowboat, and yours a catamaran. Or vice versa.
For some, quarantine is optimal. A moment of reflection, of re-connection, easy living in flip flops, with a cocktail or coffee. For others, this is a desperate financial, health, and family crisis.
For some that live alone they're facing endless loneliness. While for others, it is peace, rest, and time with their family.
Some were concerned about getting a certain chocolate for Easter while others were concerned if there would be enough bread, milk, and eggs for the weekend.
Some workers worry about virtual backgrounds, while others worry about the illness they might carry home with them. Many have lost their jobs completely, and others are working more hours for less money due to loss in sales.
Some are enjoying (or may even be complaining about) being home and spending 2-3 hours/day helping their child with online schooling. Others are spending 2-3 hours/day to educate their children - on top of a 10-12 hour workday. And still others are separated from their kids and families as they work desperately in our hospitals.
Some have experienced the near death brush of the virus, some have already lost someone from it, and some are not sure if their loved ones are going to make it. Others don't believe this is a big deal, or that their youth will be enough to make them immune.
Some have faith that their country/healthcare/god will pull off miracles during this period of stress. Others are afraid, not knowing if the worst is yet to come.
So, friends, we need to acknowledge that while we're all going through a global experience of grief, hardship, and community upheaval - we're not all experiencing it in the same way or to the same extent. For many, our perceptions and needs are completely different. Does this mean your hardship is invalid? Absolutely not.
Our hope is that we will all, in our own way, emerge from this storm. But for so many there are no guarantees. So take a moment to see each other's troubles. Those of the cashier that just rang up your order. Your elderly neighbour afraid to get groceries. The postal worker and delivery driver that comes to your door.
SEE THEM, and realize that while we're all in this storm together - each of us are on different ships, experiencing a 𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝗱𝗶𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗷𝗼𝘂𝗿𝗻𝗲𝘆.
Author Unknown
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Be kind to one another, look after one another & stay safe 💙

MidCLegs. Beautiful 💓

^^ I should point out that was not written by me, but it describes quite aptly I think what many of us are experiencing?

My 30 yr old Male neighbour is having his girlfriend around, sneaking her in when he thinks I can't bloomin hear them shagging (Victorian converted flats, we share the same entrance and garden). He's already been reported to the police by another flat owner. He's meeting his mates (down the road) and coming back sunburnt and cheery. Telling me he has been looking after his Mum and Nan. 🤷‍♀️ He knows I'm shielding because of medical problems but doesn't give a toss. He has had mates around with beers in our garden. Dickhead. If he does it again I'll be the one calling the police - fed up with it.

Everyone has different worries. Not going on a holiday is a small sacrifice to make of course, but for others it might be the first holiday they could afford in 5 years. People are allowed to be upset about different things.

I'm upset that my DH might lose his job, that we are struggling to homeschool our 5 year old, look after our 2 year old, and WFH adequately. I'm upset that I can't see my parents, both of whom are over 70+. My dad has dementia and because I haven't seen him in nearly 3 months (apart from FaceTime, which is useless as he can't have a conversation), he no longer knows who I am. That doesn't mean that I don't understand the reasons behind the lockdown, or that I don't care about the people who are vulnerable, because I do very much.

Like has already been said, healthy people who can slowly go out to work and start paying taxes, shop where they can to boost the economy a little, will in turn help people who are vulnerable and may need NHS care. We are all linked.

The people I feel most sorry for are those in their late teens and early 20s. They are missing their education, coming of age experiences and their prospects are permanently lowered by this lockdown. And they are at zero personal risk but are asked to do this to keep the over 65s alive.

They are being asked to do it to keep the NHS alive.

Everyone is losing something. The 67s+ are losing the healthy years of their retirement, their health is likely to have a permanent downturn (it's much more difficult to regain lost muscle tone when you are older)

And far from being of no value, as implied by your post, some of the over 65s are working, others supports workers by providing childcare, and the over 65s make up the bulk of volunteers providing all sorts of services used by people of all ages.

It’s also not fair to say that those of us who want lockdown to end have never had ill health or near death, twice in my life I have been very close and experienced ill health, still not worried

I dont care tbh. Im doing what i need to do to survive and thats that. Where were you all when ive been alone all this time, where were my neighbours? They couldnt give a fuck about me so i dont give a fuck about them

@flossie44

In the same post you say

"It's not a competition"

And

"Those people who are lucky enough to have good health, maybe have never been touched with the fear of near death or extreme ill health, maybe have a different prospective on all of this. Until you’ve been touched by feeling vulnerable and your life in the balance, I don’t think you’ll realise the fear behind this virus."

You are the one making it a bloody competition! Apparently your life is so much worse because you have someone vulnerable in the household. If you don't want to hear people moan don't come on MN, a site people use to vent their frustrations, particularly at this hard time.

I will moan that I don't have 'luxury's' because the luxury's in my life are what I live for, without them I justexist. You have your children who I'm sure you live for but I don't. My whole life revolves around 'luxuries' of seeing my friends, boyfriend, social activities, university, and without all these things life is really shit and I have nothing to keep me going each day. Don't you dare tell me to just be thankful I'm alive because it is so much more complex than that, no point being alive if you're miserable and lonely 24/7.

You are allowed to moan but so am I. But you are not allowed to invalidate other people who are finding it hard just because you think you have it harder.

Everyone has the right to complain and feel down right now .
Everyone has different circumstances that make them feel like life is difficult.
I'm struggling because my ds is difficult to manage he's severely autistic. There are other things too but I'm fortunate I have a family and I know others don't .
People base things on their own life and not everyone has the same life .
Yes we need to see the bigger picture but we don't have to like it we can complain but of course we will put up with it . I'm not going to break the rules but I'm glad about the exercise thing so least there won't be people shouting at you because you went out for over a hour .
I honestly don't blame others for breaking the rules and seeing family , most are struggling now and I don't think we should judge .

@letitgolego absolutely. There are a few small things in my life that bring me joy and that I work to be able to afford, hairdresser, beautician, taking my children out for the day, going for meals and I bloody well miss them and as soon as I can I will be doing them all. As you said we are literally just existing at the moment.

letitgolego you are becoming really personal tbh. And pretty cruel. go back to my original post....I said I wasn't happy with the way people moan to me about not being able to go on holiday or the pub. It hurts. the people that have done this to me IRL, are people that know my situation.

As for this thread, I haven't once made it a competition, I've acknowledged that its hard for everyone and that everyone is going through this pandemic and that everyones situation is different.

Why be so aggressive? is that going to achieve something through this general pain we are all feeling right now?

Is it ok to be pissed off and sick of fuckwits telling others that their mental health doesn't matter, stop whining and do whatever we tell you to because we're shouting the loudest with absolute shit all over the internet?!

To keep the vulnerable alive lock down will be the death of many too, why is covid the worst thing to die of.
Everyone is entitled to have their view, my 70year old aunt is terrified of the virus: rightly so, I’m terrified for the economy and the future for the children in my family- and rightly so. We all have different situations and no one is wrong.