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Original poster

Just checking this is fair - child maintenance

106 replies

Mitch22 · 08/05/2020 20:11

My husband usually pays £40 per week to his ex wife for one child.
When the lockdown happened we both lost both our income , both self employed, and have had to claim universal credit, which is just about covering our bills.

His ex wife is wfh, fully paid a very good wage.
At the time my husbands income stopped he spoke to his ex wife, who said they would just sort things out when he got his self employment support payment through.
As he is now on universal credit she is only due £7pw, as his income is £0.
Im pretty sure she is expecting a back payment of £40 pw.
How do we approach this? it is going to take a long time for us to get back on our feet, where as financially she hasn't been affected.
If my husband had lost his job in any other circumstances he would not be expected to pay £40 pw to her whilst on uc, so is this any different?

OP posts:
Waxonwaxoff0 · 10/05/2020 18:36

@Greenlorry just because some people don't get anything is no excuse. My ex wouldn't dream of giving me just £40 a week. Increase your standards a bit.

Greenlorry · 10/05/2020 19:08

I have standards and I also have a good job thank you. My situation is complicated so I have to leave it as that...
I was just saying everybody’s earning differ.
Get off your high horse just because your ex is a higher tax earner and you are a low earner I’ve seen you posting so pipe down hun!
Who are you to judge you work part time and you earn under £10 an hour I’ve seen you on various threads!!

NorthernLass75 · 10/05/2020 19:16

Sounds like an Oxfam ad-

For just £5.71 a day, you too can feed, house, educate, and raise a child 🙄

Waxonwaxoff0 · 10/05/2020 19:18

@Greenlorry I meant standards in what we expect NRPs to pay. Saying "some people get nothing" as if it somehow justifies £40 a week is ridiculous. Hmm

Waxonwaxoff0 · 10/05/2020 19:19

@Greenlorry and I'm not your "hun", ugh.

Gingerkittykat · 10/05/2020 19:19

The thread wasn't for a pile on about £40 a week, for some people it isn't a music lesson but a sizeable chunk of their income.

UC personal allowance is around £93 a week, how is someone meant to pay £40 out of that?

Itwasntme1 · 10/05/2020 19:26

However the point is he will get more money in the future and op didn’t want him to have to give extra to his ex when he got his self employed additional payment.

She also made a strange statement about the going rate for self employed and suggested that because the ex earns more her husband shouldn’t have to pay. The whole thread came across as someone trying to dodge child maintenance payments,

Greenlorry · 10/05/2020 19:29

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Greenlorry · 10/05/2020 19:29

@Waxonwaxoff0

Waxonwaxoff0 · 10/05/2020 19:40

@Greenlorry touched a nerve, huh Wink

Downbythesea7 · 10/05/2020 19:46

Not particularly because you wouldn’t be able to pay £500 a month off of your part time min wage so your a hypocrite. Ohhh don’t tell me because your a woman. It’s embarrassing that you earn min wage and your spouting off on your high horse about what people should pay as though you know people personally.

I think you have a cheek to say the least. Even if you earned £8.75 per hour full time it still wouldn’t cut it Blush

Waxonwaxoff0 · 10/05/2020 19:49

@Greenlorry it's *you're. Wink

Waxonwaxoff0 · 10/05/2020 19:49

Ah, name change fail there greenlorry. Grin

Downbythesea7 · 10/05/2020 19:54

It’s not as embarrassing as you speaking as though your a top earner when it’s your CM that funds your Butlins lifestyle and then you post as though you are better than others. I’d be embarrassed on min wage!! Confused

Waxonwaxoff0 · 10/05/2020 19:58

@Downbythesea7 I'm certainly not embarrassed about earning minimum wage. And exactly where in my post did I say I'm better than others? Expecting more than a paltry sum of CM should be the norm.

You're the one making yourself looking embarrassing, stalking my posts like a weirdo.

0DETTE · 10/05/2020 20:05

Easy solution OP. Have the 18 year old and under 18 year old children to stay with you and see of you can feed, clothe, house and entertain them for £7 a week.

Good luck.

lyingwanker · 10/05/2020 20:27

What on earth are people expecting them to do? They currently have no wages, only benefits and we are in lockdown where a new job would be almost impossible to find! Unfortunately, ex husband's still have to house, feed and clothe themselves as well as their children so how much of a £1200 after deductions should one pay in maintenance? Maybe he should have forced the sale of the family home so his outgoings weren't as much so he could then pay more maintenance?!

alittlerespectgoesalongway · 10/05/2020 22:19

The snobbery in this thread is shameful.

Willyoujustbequiet · 10/05/2020 23:00

If a resident mum only contributed £40 she'd face charges of neglect. I suspect its another case of a NRP fiddling figures to pay as little as possible.

As an aside there is some disgusting snobbery on this thread. Embarrassing to earn a minimum wage? Some of those workers are the ones we are clapping for each week. Talk about hypocrisy.

lyingwanker · 10/05/2020 23:38

A non resident parent still has rent and bills to pay, along with food and drink and travel costs.

I've got 4 kids and receive £45 per week maintenance for 2 of them. That's the CMS calculation on around an £18k wage I think.

At what point does the maintenance amount become acceptable to some people? 50% of ones wages? Or should all the low earners suddenly get a high paying job so they can pay higher amounts. Because that's really easy isn't it and I'm sure these low earners much prefer earning low wages don't they?

Mrskeats · 10/05/2020 23:47

God my dh pays 800 for his child.
Can't be a very good business.

AllsortsofAwkward · 11/05/2020 00:05

I think the fact you will be getting a grant from the government is to help with the income lost, using that to pay for maintenance should be priority as like any other bill, if you weren't that would be a different story however thats not the case and its 3 months worth payout of 80 percent profits.

ChrissieKeller61 · 11/05/2020 09:04

@lyingwanker as the RP I was expected to do whatever it took to provide for the kids, withdraw every penny of savings, sell stuff, literally failure is not an option.

Kezmum14 · 11/05/2020 09:18

I think you should back pay what is owed when the government self employment grant comes in. Alternatively, offer to have the child 50/50 split while you aren’t working and the child isn’t at school.

0DETTE · 11/05/2020 11:24

@lyingwanker as the RP I was expected to do whatever it took to provide for the kids, withdraw every penny of savings, sell stuff, literally failure is not an option

Well that’s because you’re a mother and a Rp. You have to do whatever it takes to support your child. No luxury “ self employment “ or vanity businesses for you, my dear.

However non Rp only have to support their child if they have some spare cash after they’ve bought everything they want ( inc drink according to a PP).

How anyone thinks you can house, feed, clothe and raise a ? 16 year old on £80 a week beats me. Yet he apparently “ wants for nothing “.

Funny how all these “ step mums “ worried about high child support ever want the child to come and live with them full time to save money.