Is it just me, or is this working from home with children completely unsustainable?

[Lovemyphone]

I'm terrified that the schools will remain closed until September.

I'm wfh with two dc. Youngest is 4, as the weeks go by it's becoming more and more unbearable and I can't do it much longer. I'm on my own because dh is still out at work. My employer have been pretty good and taken a 'just do what you can when you can' approach. But the work is picking up again, at the same time the dc are climbing the walls now.

I can't even make a phone call or do an online meeting without constant "mummyyy", or one of them hurting themselves, or asking for snacks, or trashing the house.

Surely it's neglect to essentially leave your children unsupervised for 7-8 hours a day? Which is essentially what you're expected to do.

Is anyone else in this position and just cannot possibly see how this can go on?

We’re approaching it as a team and we have decent employers and it’s still really just not doable. I don’t think this is something that can be solved by partners stepping up and employers relaxing expectations a bit (although obviously that would help many).

There are reasons why we pay a fortune for childcare and wraparound care and holiday clubs in normal times. If it was that easy to both keep on working around the kids we wouldn’t do it.

I start every working day hopeful that I will get through my ‘to do’ list but I get about 1/3 done.

My children are 6, 4 and 1. DH and I are a great team, our personalities ‘gel’ very well. Still can’t work, home school two young children and look after a toddler all at the same time though.

I'm so glad to find this thread! I was crying today about how we're going to keep this up.

I agree with all the feelings expressed here. DH and I are both trying to work from home in busy full time jobs and we have to DS aged 1 and 5. It is so hard to do anything, almost impossible. Work are again all the right things and "just do what you can" but the work still has to be delivered and I have to attend calls. It honestly is a nightmare, we cannot go on like this much longer. DS 5 is refusing to go to bed now and waking up trying to get in to our bed all night and the baby has fallen over several times already because we weren't supervising him rightly enough. It's a hellish situation when both parents are expected to work.

Yeah same here. It's excruciating. I am self employed- I have to literally lock myself away while DH works in our bedroom. I don't have a job where I can be near them when I am 'on'. The DC are entirely neglected. It is so depressing for us all. This can not go on.

^Both my partner and I have been able to work from home. We must be in the minority as it has gone really well for us. We can share the care of his little one and so the child always has someone to help guide her/watch over her studying. It's challenging but it's shown how well suited we are to each other that we have managed to do this.
I think this could go on for some time so we do feel grateful it has worked so well for us. I do feel for single parents or those who don't have supportive partners.
My partner and I have approached this as a team and it's the only do able way in my opinion.^

My husband isn't here during the day, he's out at work from 7am-6pm.

It isn't that he's not supportive he just isn't here!! When this first happened he was getting home, cooking dinner, putting youngest to bed while I was pulling my hair out. But that just meant everyone ate later so I've had to sort myself out and get dinner done.

But dh isn't one for sitting around not pulling his weight. But what can he do if he's not here?

He gets the minimum leave entitlement and if he started taking unpaid leave it wouldn't be long before bills didn't get paid.

It's an absolute shitty situation, I'm wincing reading these posts because I know how bloody painful it is. I'm also truly sorry for single parents who haven't got that second income back up, I really could just hug you. Not that it would help.

I can middle through until half term, but the thoughts of this going on until Sept or beyond makes me shudder. That's going to do some serious damage to our mental health and my youngest child's development.

My house is just ridiculous. It’s filthy. I’m going to need to spend the weekend gutting it.

Lovemyphone. Agree entirely, when I thought there might be some wider opening of schools however measured in early June, I thought I can cope until half term (esp as I have leave to use up which helps spread work). This seems less likely in recent days and I'm not sure I can slog on to September (which seems to be a magic month in some folks eyes).

I've had some pretty shitty things happen likewise in the last few years and got through them but this is really grinding me down.

Do we think the gov will announce that families can blend households / grandparents can see grandchildren from next week?

Lifewise not likewise

Doubtful, Therabble

lovemyphone I am on a similar situation to you. DC 6 and 3 and Dh working out of home 8-6 every day. I am expected to answer emails instantly, make numerous phone calls and even deliver 1 hour long training sessions Monday to Friday 830-5....impossible.

I know of a few people who've done it already. Does it not seem safer to do that now during lockdown where two households are well, rather than let people circulate more at random?

I’m still hoping and praying our summer holiday club can open. If furlough pay ends and they still can’t open they’ll be genuinely fucked and have to go for bankruptcy then we’ll all be fucked for wrap around and holiday care 😢😢😢😢

Our holiday club has 20-30 kids in a school dining room that feeds 400 during term. They’re outside 90% of the day Seems doable to me.

You might not even need to socially distance children if the research suggesting they really aren't likely to spread it holds out. Eg - "Children are not COVID-19 super spreaders: time to go back to school"

I have heard absolutely nothing about childcare settings like wraparound/holiday care from the official advice. Nothing. Might have missed it I suppose, although I have been watching like a hawk. But I'm glad to see the government giving serious thought to when football and pubs could resume

It's totally unsustainable ! Bless you!
I am finding it difficult and my husband works from home and I'm a sahm. We are very lucky. We have twin 2 year olds.

Saying that we dont have a massive house or have any luxuries. But we are very lucky.

DH and I are also both working from home whilst simultaneously looking after a two and four year old. We have got into a sort of rhythm now but each day is so difficult and stressful and we worry so much about the impact this is having on our children.

There is no respite, it's up and moving from the second the children wake up. Breakfast, work, kids in front of tv, then constantly tag team around meetings until lunchtime when we get what used to be a blissful two hours whilst the kids had quiet time in their rooms. Now both our diaries are crammed in those two hours with work calls or frantic catching up, barely enough time to scoff down a sandwich. And repeat for the afternoon. Then once the kids are in bed, it's back to work again. We can't leave them alone for too long during the day as they'll bicker to the point of screaming and crying, or just make a complete mess of the house.

Weekends are much the same in that we are trying to catch up on missed work from the week. We're both exhausted, and longing to get some support so we can just do the jobs that we are being paid to do and perhaps one day get an evening or weekend back. Luckily, our employers are understanding but our clients not so much.

It's the not knowing how long this is going to go on for that just makes me feel sick, and work is getting busier for both of us. We are so close to just giving up and letting the children go to the grandparents who are also desperate to help us.