Is it just me, or is this working from home with children completely unsustainable?

[Lovemyphone]

I'm terrified that the schools will remain closed until September.

I'm wfh with two dc. Youngest is 4, as the weeks go by it's becoming more and more unbearable and I can't do it much longer. I'm on my own because dh is still out at work. My employer have been pretty good and taken a 'just do what you can when you can' approach. But the work is picking up again, at the same time the dc are climbing the walls now.

I can't even make a phone call or do an online meeting without constant "mummyyy", or one of them hurting themselves, or asking for snacks, or trashing the house.

Surely it's neglect to essentially leave your children unsupervised for 7-8 hours a day? Which is essentially what you're expected to do.

Is anyone else in this position and just cannot possibly see how this can go on?

Better get off your bum and start protesting about cause you're only wasting precious time posting about on here.
Fascinating. Protest how? Can't take to the streets en masse.

The other day I had precisely 16 minutes to myself at the end of the day after all work, childcare, eating, clearing up and getting ready for the next day was done – could have had longer if I'd propped my eyes open with teaspoons, perhaps – and I spent 99% of it pissing about on Mumsnet to feel like a human being instead of an automaton-hamster-headless chicken, but you're right, a 16-minute solo protest in my own house, perhaps writing to my MP to suggest "Coronavirus is bad", would have been a more effective use of my precious time.

Burrito 😂

Yup. My partner is a keyworker working shifts outside of home. I'm very resentful that I'm stuck in the house with a 2 year old and a 10 year old, a full time job and in charge of endless fucking meal planning.10 year old's school rang me this week to enquire why some parts of the set homework hadn't been completed last week. Partner was on late shifts and 2 year old not going to bed til 9pm when I still hadnt had tea or finished my days work. I reached breaking point and my boss very kindly rang and offered me 1-2 days special leave per week to enable me to look after the kids and not feel like I'm failing at life. So, it's not just you OP, if that helps at all

Thanks @shinynewapple2020 - I had initially thought I’d try and make it to the summer holidays and then take some unpaid leave, but using it to go 4 days a week is a good idea.

I know a couple of people passing around petitions to keep schools closed for longer (nothing about childcare, are people just not aware of childcare?) who aren't dealing with the consequences of it and it makes me want to sob.

Everyone gets to have their own view and all of that... but if the government ends up basing its decisions on all this based on pressure from people who are having a lovely time #makingmemories on furlough I will be bloody furious.

I find it much easier wfh with dcs there, than having loads of people dying.

What is it you say to dementors again... oh yeah...

EXPECTO PATRONUM!

is this another made up thread by government propagandists

Oooh, what's more likely: mass government conspiracy to kill people started via Mumsnet, or mothers being a bit stressed trying to literally be in three places at once?

If your anxiety is so overwhelming that you can't summon up even the teensiest ounce of sympathy for people struggling, maybe talk to a counsellor rather than inflict your misery on others. Or just go and adjust your tinfoil hat so the 5G rays won't get you.

Is it just me, or is this another made up thread by government propagandists to try to persuade the public that lockdown should end? hmm

I find it much easier wfh with dcs there, than having loads of people dying. hmm

summons patronus

What a twat

Nmm

From the experts:

the ESRI cautions that "combining working from home with childminding is not a sustainable long-term option."

www.rte.ie/news/business/2020/0508/1137197-esri-research-on-remote-working/

Don't even have schools open for key workers here. They are finally trying to help HCP with childcare.

The only way I'm coping is because I'm parttime. But in a demanding civil service role with no reduction in caseload & still having to do crisi work & hit targets.
I'm so worried about my kids. This was ok for a few weeks but they are bored shitless, behaviour is worrying & I just feel sad for them.
I don't think people (ie my manager) without kids could understand how much a 4&5yo can fight-it's sometimes seconds after I've left the room.

This is compounded by school FB groups posting all the craft shit they've been doing with their kids cos 1 or both parents isn't working.

I was ok with things at first but it's more poor kids. I think employers do well out of the thing where you don't feel like you can moan cos others are in the same or 'worse' boat

And my stupid local authority decided only kids with 2 parents as key workers are eligible to attend school. my DH works in construction so working out the house as normal.
Which at first I understood but I know some hub schools in my area have as few as 2 kids attending a day

I have stopped working (freelance). Many of my friends are not in a position to do this because if they do not work they do not pay rent/mortgage or buy food. They are close to breaking point.

HSing the 8yo was OK, but then the nursery closed as well and I had the baby with me all day. Two days of trying to crawl through a tiny amount o work one inch at a time, persuaded me that I had no choice other than to quit.

Someone suggested to me that I should let the 8yo take care of the baby all day while I worked. Dear God! The 8yo is supposed to be keeping up with her studies, not minding her little sister all day while her mum works, like a mill-town child in a Dickens' novel. And yet, if I was a single mum and desperate, that is exactly what I would end up having to ask her to do. This situation is pushing parents to desperate measures.

There have been 3 tragic accidents involving under 15s in our area this year...maybe not related to lock down, but so hard to effectively mind children while having to focus on work. Zero deaths from Covid in this age group.

I posted this in another thread, but my youngest climbed on a chair and fell while I was desperately trying to get my eldest's Skype session sorted out and simultaneously handle a call from a client (who was wanting to know when I would be back at work!) at the same time. She got a bruise on her cheekbone. Several of my friends have also reported near misses. Toddlers are getting substandard care---getting ignored for long periods, falling between the cracks as parents lunge desperately between work and HSing older siblings, being haphazardly babysat by older siblings.

Families with young children seem to have been given bottom priority for everything in all this.

Even that fucking clapping nonsense--perfectly timed to disturb bedtime and wake young kids up. Yes, I know it was taken from Spain where young kids go to bed later. But it seems so bloody symbolic of everything, that the people who decided "Let's clap at 8pm like they do in Spain" did not stop to think for a minute about whether this was appropriate or kind to families with young children in the UK.

Even that fucking clapping nonsense--perfectly timed to disturb bedtime and wake young kids up. Yes, I know it was taken from Spain where young kids go to bed later. But it seems so bloody symbolic of everything, that the people who decided "Let's clap at 8pm like they do in Spain" did not stop to think for a minute about whether this was appropriate or kind to families with young children in the UK

Agree with this. Every Thursday the pot banging/car horns/fireworks wake up my DC.

I completely agree about the clapping. It feels like the needs of children and their carers are right at the bottom. No coincidence that we've mostly got middle aged men in charge.

It’s shit!

I have a four year old, before I was furloughed my boyfriend was helping out with childcare so I could wfh. Furlough ended on Wednesday, my boyfriend is not volunteering at a local food distribution charity. Yesterday I did maybe two hours of actual work in small blocks, I had to do the rest when my boyfriend was home/my son was in bed.

I find it much easier wfh with dcs there, than having loads of people dying

Good on you! I personally find it easier to work knowing that the most vulnerable families and children amongst us aren't being thrown under the bus until September while those of us with savings, and more stable and flexible jobs get to hang out in our spacious houses, shop at garden centres and do a ton of craft while staying safe at home...

I needed to read this I have a 5 year old and 2 year old. Dh and I are both teachers and desperately want to go back to school. I cannot cope. Under so much pressure to be online all day. I can't switch off as getting messages from the children at the weekend and I just can't ignore them. My HT Wants us to move to live lessons and didn't care at me sobbing on phone to her that I was at breaking point already trying my absolute best and feel my husbands doing much more with the kids as his school haven't been quite as demanding... yet. I hate that I'm the only one with young kids and my colleagues can just do the tasks and it's only me that's struggling and not in the hubs
. I drafted an email about unpaid parental leave but just felt too guilty not being there for my class. I just wish they could be in childcare even one day so I could find my feet. This thread made me feel not alone thank you.

It's challenging but it's shown how well suited we are to each other that we have managed to do this

People aren’t struggling with it because they are not ‘well suited’ to each other.

This is so, so distressing to read. I feel desperately sad for young families.
I worked in the nhs most of my working life and I would rather have adequate PPE and testing than this clapping and clattering.