Is it just me, or is this working from home with children completely unsustainable?

[Lovemyphone]

I'm terrified that the schools will remain closed until September.

I'm wfh with two dc. Youngest is 4, as the weeks go by it's becoming more and more unbearable and I can't do it much longer. I'm on my own because dh is still out at work. My employer have been pretty good and taken a 'just do what you can when you can' approach. But the work is picking up again, at the same time the dc are climbing the walls now.

I can't even make a phone call or do an online meeting without constant "mummyyy", or one of them hurting themselves, or asking for snacks, or trashing the house.

Surely it's neglect to essentially leave your children unsupervised for 7-8 hours a day? Which is essentially what you're expected to do.

Is anyone else in this position and just cannot possibly see how this can go on?

Also love the idea of a campaign! How do we flag this to mumsnet? Is there a @ function or something? I totally agree the gin o’clock memes don’t tell the true story and it isn’t right that we and our children are really struggling like this.

What I get from the media is “oh it’s hilarious, kids are driving mums up the wall”, “gin o clock” and “here’s some crafting ideas.”

Oh God yes. I am getting so tired of that. It's not just a stressful weekend ffs. It's been six weeks (seven?), I am on my knees in tears every day and now wondering how long we can go without losing the house if/when one of us has to give up our jobs.

I've just read a comment somewhere that 90% of parents don't want their children going back to school, how the hell are they coping ??

Nobody here is failing. You're facing an impossible situation in the best way you can.

If it's any consolation, my DM regularly tells the story that she had a playpen when we were young. If she needed to do something like sewing, she would climb in the playpen to keep us safe, because it was pointless putting us in the playpen!

The MN campaigns board is here: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_campaigns We could start a thread on that. I was going to post a link to this but I just can't manage dealing with all the snidey comments from people telling me my parenting is shit or I don't care about people dying of covid.

Can I just also say.... My 9yo ds has never liked crafting! Why is crafting always the solution!?!

I think that was from a parent kind survery willow which I didn't see until it was closed. I think it was an online one so depending on where it was advertised it could have got very skewed results (or ones that are representative I don't know).

I think there is a quite significant proportion of people who are scared and don't want kids back but 90% surprises me

Let's get behind a campaign! Mumsnet has a huge amount of influence in this area!

I don't think that it is totally the governments fault, I think that a lot of this childcare issue could be shared by the (usual husbands) whose job is soooooo important that they cannot possibly help with childcare....

@callmeadoctor my husband is more than doing his fair share. He does not consider his job more important even though technically it is, as he is a key worker. We are splitting our time as equally as we can without one of our jobs taking precedence which is hard enough. We are still both at breaking point because it is non stop all day every day for both of us. There is no way to give each other a break because if we aren't looking after the children then we are working to keep our productivity up as much as possible.

Some partners are out working, how can they support with childcare then (other than when they get home from work)? If they are also working from home then yes absolutely I feel it should be equally divided.

fatkate I loathe private practice law. Awful places and even more so for women. I moved in house. I’m part time and don’t have to time record so am
managing but the management has still been crap. You have my full sympathy

I would happily get behind a campaign. My work has offered reduced hours (so less pay) or annual leave. No furlough. Bastards

Mine have offered a pay cut with no reduction in work load. Thannnnks.

I'm CS so lots of the right noises, very understanding, special paid leave option (but being gently encouraged not to use it by my boss - genuinely think they are trying to protect my role but it's a bit crap). But.... still daily zoom team calls, projects to manage, emails to answer.... and 2 young kids to home school and care for. DH does his share but he is corporate and in construction industry, it has got busier.

Both f/t and no help. We had a nanny share but the other family had a front line key worker so we had to stop. It's so difficult 😬

I would also support this campaign.

We are both civil service and our organisation has been great, to an extent, but there are still lots of expetations and snide colleagues to deal with.

We have a 6 and 3 year old, both are struggling, the youngest in particular.

I just feel like parents are totally shafted just now and the whole work from home and home school and look after the younger ones all at the same time idea is fucking ridiculous.

We are still earning and for that I am thankful but employers will eventually lose patience because lets face it, most don't have the best patience for working parents (i.e. mothers!) at the best of times anyway.

I’ve posted in campaigns. Hoping I won’t need a tin hat! www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_campaigns/3904046-Campaign-to-highlight-how-mad-WFH-with-kids-is-during-lockdown?watched=1

Thank you for posting in campaigns.

I don't have an answer. Perhaps a bit of paid leave.

I just feel as though the impact on children and parents trying to wfh has been on the whole overlooked.

It has. We are invisible as ever.

I've just read a comment somewhere that 90% of parents don't want their children going back to school, how the hell are they coping ??

There is almost certainly selection bias there. Parents who aren't coping aren't filling in random online surveys as much as those who are coping fine and bored.

I am also Civil Service in a department that is very male heavy and quite specialist. There are a lot of men in senior management who have made it very clear that they are unavailable for parts of the day/week because of childcare, so it's a step in the right direction.

I struggle to WFH at the best of times, but it's been so much worse than it would normally be. Meeting after meeting after meeting, all day every day. My ears itch after an hour with headphones. So much work to get through, and more and more piling on.

We've been luckier than most because we only have one 13 yo at home so clearly she doesn't need to be supervised like a toddler, but she has SEN, is very clingy, and I face regular interruptions for hugs, food, what shall I do etc. School is setting work on google classroom but I have no idea whether she's doing it.

She usually has 8 out of school activities a week (10 hours), all but 2 very physical, and none of them can be done at home. She's getting very bored and growing a spare tyre. She is missing her friends and expecting me to provide all her entertainment.

DH works in a supermarket and has had zero time off since this started. His "weekend" is during the week, which is normally a bonus for him but now he gets to spend it 100% with DD, so I get a little peace. He was supposed to be made redundant at the end of March and we had a whole load of projects needing to be done in the house. It's been extended to end of May and we are wondering whether it will actually happen.

The news said something yesterday about secondary schools not going back until the end of June. As DD's school breaks up the first week of July that would mean her not going back until September. With her being older of course she doesn't go to bed until late, and although on a normal weekend she'd sleep in, at the moment I get up quietly thinking I might just get 30 mins on my own, and there she is. It is relentless

We are invisible as ever.

Even more so - because the people who are usually advocating so strongly for our children and their welfare, education and wellbeing - teachers - are (for fairly understandable reasons) no longer doing so.

hey, this came up in the press conference today!

"A journalist from the Sunday Mirror asks how parents can get back to work if schools aren't fully up and running.

Shapps says it is right to point out the "interconnectivity of the economy" but many people have found new ways of working through the pandemic, with many more people working from home."

Oh well that's okay then. Maybe we can also restock the domestic food chain by doing some lovely baking with the kids too while we're at it!

i.e. "just suck it up" FFS.