Is it just me, or is this working from home with children completely unsustainable?

[Lovemyphone]

I'm terrified that the schools will remain closed until September.

I'm wfh with two dc. Youngest is 4, as the weeks go by it's becoming more and more unbearable and I can't do it much longer. I'm on my own because dh is still out at work. My employer have been pretty good and taken a 'just do what you can when you can' approach. But the work is picking up again, at the same time the dc are climbing the walls now.

I can't even make a phone call or do an online meeting without constant "mummyyy", or one of them hurting themselves, or asking for snacks, or trashing the house.

Surely it's neglect to essentially leave your children unsupervised for 7-8 hours a day? Which is essentially what you're expected to do.

Is anyone else in this position and just cannot possibly see how this can go on?

Not impressed. Suspect we'll get the same message as Wales tomorrow and schools won't be opening beginning of June. If that is the case though why couldn't they just tell us at the same time as Wales.

So pissed off. Government policy seems to be listening to whoever shouts loudest and I'm too busy being teacher to an 8 year old, looking after my toddler and working 3 days a week (that's after taking leave) to shout.

@Littlebelina

I'll get flamed for this but I couldn't agree more - our teachers at school have basically been told to crack on and have a great break - as have we in the Head's opinion. School has completely ignored parents that work and is operating under the assumption that there's a parent at home available to have a good bash at the learning packs they sent home on March 20th.

The latest update was from all the teachers telling us they are spending time with their kids making flapjacks and not to worry about home learning. So they've all the time to tell their unions they don't want to get back or work.... I think it's outrageous!

I do understand the worries about schools (I've read some of the papers around children's roles in spreading or not, and not sure the evidence is strong either way). However the constant back and forthing in the media and lack of clear message from the government is doing my head in. Even the messages from wales/Scotland haven't completely ruled out a return this school year. At least if I knew it was next academic year I could cry a lot and then plan. Hopefully Boris will give a clear message tomorrow (ha!).

At the moment I'm not living, I'm existing and this is tolerable if there is an end in sight and clear guidance on what is needed to move to the next stage. But the goalposts keep moving. Risk is a part of life and we can't eliminate the risk from coronavirus and at some point we need to start living with it.

Ha Foxtrot, exactly!

I've just read Boris won't be giving any dates for anything tomorrow so while he may mumble about some vague future plans, we will have no idea when these might come to fruition 🙄

And yes, I know it's all about the science....

@goldpendant I've been coming back and reading this thread as it's been making me feel better that I'm not alone in struggling so badly with a 2 & 5 year old. As I said I'm a teacher, I desperately want to go back to school as do all my colleagues. Please don't blame teachers for the schools shutting. I cannot cope or switch off as constantly messaging children, setting work, writing reports and have so many demands being put on me by management. I considered applying for unpaid leave but that would just leave my class with no teacher. Just saying please don't blame us and we are being told not to pressure parents while expecting engagement and tasks handed in so maybe that's why people are saying don't worry...

DS's teacher puts 6 worksheets, or about 1 hour's worth a week on the homework portal. She then sends daily motivational messages about how it is hard for everyone, including details of the fun activities she has done with her daughter (in that class), and last week's gem commenting that every day feels like a bank holiday at the moment. So no, I don't have much sympathy.

Maybe she could send differentiated work. Give me her school email address so I can send homework back without spending an hour a week struggling with the portal. Phone up families and ask how we are doing. Or at least stop flaming gloating on the portal about doing 1-2 days work a week and getting loads of time one on one with her daughter!

I can't do it until September. I will end up leaving my job, and that will be the end of my career.

I've found my people on this thread!! We're WFH full time with 2 pre-schoolers. They can't sit and read independently, can't fetch their own snacks and drinks, they need help with puzzles and games, one needs supervision going up and down stairs (but still manages to have trips and falls etc!). They are bored stiff.

DH's employers are understanding that it's hard, but still expect him to meet the same deadlines and be as available as ever in his busy job. My employers are great but not one colleague has young children so it never seems to occur to anyone just how tough this is - and I avoid speaking up as I don't want to be viewed unfavorably and be first on the chopping block as/when redundancies start.

DH and I rolled up our sleeves at the start but it's getting seriously disheartening that goalposts seem to be being moved and there's no light at the end of the tunnel. I worry the govt are under pressure to maintain this level of restriction from people who are having a far less difficult lockdown, and have no concept of how a good chunk of people are being affected.

I accept there are no easy solutions and no pleasing everyone, but the thought of this lasting until September is unbearable. We feel worn down and guilty for low productivity, and the 'benign neglect' of two young children. Sympathies to those in the same boat - after 7 weeks of chirpy colleagues and happy families on social media, it's a strange sort of comfort to know others are out there also hoping for the grip to loosen so we can attempt to sort childcare.

"Now, homeschooling kids and caring for sick or elderly relatives during the pandemic is creating a "double double shift." It’s pushing women to the breaking point. According to recent surveys by LeanIn.org and Survey Monkey conducted in April, one in four women say they are experiencing severe anxiety with physical symptoms like a racing heartbeat. One in 10 men say the same. More than half of all women are currently struggling with sleep issues."

fortune.com/2020/05/07/coronavirus-women-sheryl-sandberg-lean-in-employers-covid-19/?fbclid=IwAR0DCqh6SB7Jb24--MgFdp8qcMxY0p83m6lsWn1LKC7fP1Rzk-ztTzB_Zkk

Apologies @K0612 I appreciate many want to get back, as do many of us parents. I fear as people have said on here that these voices aren't being heard, 90% in favour of schools closed until September can't possibly be right? Our school has done a poor job and continues to send passive aggressive, confusing and conflicting information about what is or isn't expected of home learning. I know circumstances will differ regionally but that's how I feel. I know I'm not alone. NOT teacher bashing. LA bashing perhaps (joined borough wide effort can't be that difficult?)

Demand more of your schools. In this day and age, teachers can and should be teaching live lessons by video link and sending home packs to anyone who can’t access internet. Our school are.

Ye I think I'm going to stop coming back and reading this now. Totally thought people who understand how I feel and it's turned to we (teachers) need to do more- this is already why I can't sleep at night. It's the move to live lessons that's actually pushing me over the edge. I could sit my 5 year old on an ipad but what at am I to do with the two year old? And yes this is what all of us are dealing with but making me feel worse when I literally can't cope as feel I can't ever get away from work.

I don't think teachers should do more K0612. At the end of the day I appreciate a lot are in the same situation as me and in my case it's not the work that's provided that's the issue, it's the fact I don't have the capability to support it. I'm either wrangling a toddler or working myself (sometimes asking my 8 year old to toddler wrangle).

Saying teachers should do more is ignoring the issue which is it is not possible to do a days work and educate properly at the same time.

Thing is most parents with young children are struggling. They could lose their jobs. Teachers seem to have decided - not all of course that they will do a few worksheets and then see you Sept. The unions are now piling in and this won’t end well.

Similarly on teachers... I have friends who teach in secondary schools and are working flat out to help their students alongside trying to care for their own kids, I know plenty are working very hard.

But the MN line I've seen about how all teachers are doing so much, certain doesn't ring true at our state primary, which has done little to nothing. We're getting a generic weekly class email from the teacher and directions to log onto Oak Academy - which is dry and so far has almost exclusively covered things they've already done, so my DCs are bored. We can do stuff on Bitesize, twinkl and the million other resources, but putting it all together takes time, and with 4 dcs including a toddler, and two full time jobs it's bloody hard, I cannot see how some of the disadvantaged families at school will be doing any of this, especially with English language challenges for the parents. They're caring for a handful of students at the school, so that's not it either. We're not looking for a full set of zoom lessons (we lack the devices!) or personalised calls or messages, but something of a plan would be nice..

It’s a joke and they need to end this lock down and open schools. Why should 3 to 4 generations be sacrificed? Don’t kids matter? I feel sorry for the situation in care homes but 98 year olds dying 2/3 months early is not a good reason to sacrifice a generation

What are people wanting teachers to do? I'm not sure how they can support parents of very young children. My son is 9, we have a tutor who he has an online 1:1 lesson with weekly, he is struggling at school, so we employed her a few months before lockdown. Even that 1:1 lesson requires either me or my husband or older daughter present as TA to ensure he gets the most out of it, we supervise the homework she sets him. She is an excellent teacher. The idea that primary school kids could mostly just get on with online teaching in classes of up to 30 without parents supervising seems pie in the sky.

Should add, too, that we are in a big primary school with multiple forms per year and many teachers (like our own) without DCs, which is why we feel that something more than a link to Oak is a fair expectation... again, not trying to teacher bash and appreciate that people can have many other challenges at this time. But seriously, it's so hard to be left out alone with all this.

I don't want my DC's teachers to be doing anything different really. The school's handling it pretty well in general and I couldn't put a 5-year-old in front of Zoom classes all day or sit through endless learning packs with her if they were available or God forbid required. I really miss DD's teacher (as does DD) and I'm glad she's still communicating with them without making all of us feel under more pressure, there's just not much else teachers can really do at that age.

It shouldn't be surprising that a group of parents who feel the country has hung them out to dry are also upset if their DC's teachers also aren't providing much support. Yes, those teachers with young children also deserve support, but that is partly to enable them to pass support on.

And what would I like? Work that isn't just twinkl downloads. A bit of tutoring support 1:1, even half an hour once a fortnight, or a few online classes a week. Something that lets DS believe that there's someone outside this house that cares that he learns.

A move to live lessons would be a step backwards imo - how would that work for DC aged 6? Who would actually set that up when we are on work calls and supervise? How would the teacher differentiate?

The people from our school calling for this seem to be those who have a SAHP and are comparing to local private schools

For me the work school provides is another straw to add on the camel’s back. I appreciate that teachers are working hard in difficult circumstances preparing the materials (which from our school/MAT I have been impressed by) - yet stuff like “star of the week” seems pointless and demoralising and will NOT be shared with my DC when the determining metric appears to be whether you posted work each day during the working day. Ffs.

The core problem is having DC6 and DC3 at home when I usually have various pieces of the puzzle in place to enable me to achieve 50-60 hours work a week - and right now, I don’t have that - and THAT is the problem, that is driving me and DH ever closer to crisis (and he is doing his fair share) but we BOTH work long hours normally in intense jobs

@K0612 please don't feel you need to do more I wish you teachers would do less ! As every morning when I'm getting tasks through to do with my 5yo and the messages saying well done to all you parents sending in photos of your child's work and videos of them reading as you are really helping them for the next school year, really really just adds to my guilt for being huge Mum failure for not doing any school work with my 5yo cos I'm wfh full time, he doesn't want to do it and I've not the time or patience or energy to try and coax him to do it.