How many employers are being arseholes with regard to wfh with children?

[charmers2501]

Would just be interested to see how many employers are not being flexible or supportive with regards to working while also trying to look after children.
I asked as soon as the schools shut about changing my hours and working evenings and over the weekend. I do an admin job and I am classed as a key worker due to the nature of my job. I could easily do my work in the evenings and weekends and I put the request in to do this with no loss of hours. I would have stayed up til midnight if I needed to. I was flatly refused as I was told I needed to work "core" hours.
It's getting harder and harder. My child is constantly in tears or having a major meltdown. I have to log on the system when I have a wee ffs! It's a system that tracks breaks, working time etc.My daughter is struggling badly and I cant cope much longer. There is less work and so I asked again and explained my issues. Again refused. I asked to be furloughed in the end but that was refused too. I got told that I could claim unpaid leave. I cant afford to. I'm a single mum.
I got marked down on a call last week as my child was playing rather loudly with her paw patrol stuff and it was "distracting and could be seen as unprofessional". So they expect 8 hours a day with 2 15 minute breaks and 30 mins lunch and to be at my desk completely for the rest of the time. It's impossible. I cant ignore my daughter. I now have had time taken from my annual leave to make up periods where I was trying to sort out my child. They just expect the same level as if I were in the office and I think I'm going to explode with stress.

You can ask to be furloughed due to childcare reasons. Would this be an option?

This does sound really difficult but I am not fully understanding your situation. Do you do simply admin tasks that can be done just as well outside core hours or do you do calls. Why have you been marked down on a call if that isnt your role. I would ask if your requests so far have suggested a compromise to work all nights and weekends and no core hours seems a bit much. Can you compromise so say 2 days were you do some core hours so say 9 till 12 then 3 till 6 giving you a break midday to give some attention to your daughter. Thats 12 hours then the other 12 at your own choice when it works. Send it in a written email and ask for a written response. If they say no escalate to HR as if you do end up off sick and go over your sickness allowance you will have this to back you up. I am doing 26 hours at home. I normally do 3 long days but am now spreading over 5 shorter days so can give some time to my kids 7 and 3 its hard but I do calls and have to try and find a compromise that works.

My employer is similar to yours. So we have childcare in place even though I'm mostly WFH and not a key worker. But my child is under 2 as well so cannot be left to entertain themself and my DH is a keyworker working out of the home. If I were you I would send your DC to school during your working hours, you're both struggling so much, it sounds like it would benefit you both.

OP, I got stressed just reading that. How do they know when you’re at your desk?

If you have copd I think you should have had a letter advising 12 weeks self isolation, but I don't know how that works wages wise. My employer is paying colleagues full pay, but yours sound horriblen . Could you try acas for advicen

@lazyarse123 not everyone with COPD is in the shielding group, only a small proportion of sufferers with the most severe symptoms/treatment.

Are you usually a good and reliable employee OP? Just wondering and hoping l am wrong that they aren't using this as an excuse to get you to leave? You can be furloughed for childcare issues although not all bosses do the right thing unfortunately But anyway l hope they see sense because it sounds awful xxx

Thank you [meadowhay] I wasn't aware of that. I have 2 friends it applies to so thought everybody was the same.

IF (and I know it's a big IF) restrictions are eased slightly soon where you can mix with another household do you have a friend or family member who could look after your dd for a few hours now and again? You work 24 hrs is this a few long days or short hours over more days?
I'm also wfh with a 5yo pretty set shifts and constantly on the phone and DH out at work similar hours. It's a nightmare 5yo Is pretty much screen babysat which I feel so guilty about. I do have a 14yo too that can watch 5yo but again I feel guilty about that too as it's not his responsibility.

@moondust001. It's bizarre that you think you are doing your employees with young children a big favour by "turning a blind eye" as you put it to their offspring being at home. In reality I think if half your team called tomorrow and told you they were going to take the opportunity to be furloughed, or otherwise go off on stress due to the juggling of work and small children, you may have bigger problems than a child crying in the background. The reality is, humans reproduce, and those offspring live with them. Both sides have to adapt. The first thing parents can do is try to work a little bit early morning and early evening if they are more productive then, so that if they are less productive during the day they can make some up. The first thing employers can do is get out of the mindset of thinking they are doing people favours when their staff are trying to work through a global pandemic in very stretched circumstances.

I wrote a similar thread on AIBU recently. I think some employers are behaving appallingly - certainly yourS is, and it sounds like it is having an awful impact on your family’s wellbeing. Really feel for you.

I think on the other side of this, whenever the F* that might be that the economy is suitably recovered for us to have any choice again, a lot of people will be thinking differently about what kind of employer they want to work for. I know I will.

The company I work for get really funny about childcare at the best of times.. I know of a mum who was forced to take her child to school at the start of lockdown so she could work.. her child was the only one there and the school wrote a shitty status about it
I think a few women have taken it off work unpaid just so they've got guaranteed childcare.. the company I work for are trash really. Sadly, I'm positive you've all shopped there too! It's a much loved store rolling in money but treat staff awful 👌🏻👌🏻

Will you get paid full time for sick op?

I would investigate this avenue further. What’s their procedure for disciplinary/dismissal due to sick leave?

I’d be looking to go off sick with stress. OR...go off sick with something related to your disability so that they can’t bollock you over it (disability discrimination). Have a flare up of something and make it clear this is related to your disability, then they’re fucked in terms of action.

And I wouldn’t even feel guilty about it, if they hadn’t have been such knobs you wouldn’t have had to.

It breaks my heart that you are dealing with that. We are all wfh, and our employer has said no one should worry at the moment, and anyone with childcare issues should look after the children, and any time used for this is charged to a special covid cost code.

Two people in my team have to work 50% of their hours because of childcare, and I am always checking that this is ok with them, and whether they are coping, and have reduced their workload accordingly. Our employer is great, and is rewarded by extreme loyalty by the staff. Any decent employer needs to understand that these are very very difficult times. How can you wfh full time with a small child? Impossible.

OP, I really hope you can find another job - I feel so so sorry for you.

My DHs emoloyers have them all WFH but zero allowance for the fact that we have two primary aged kids and I'm WFH too. I hate them now

My employer is not turning a blind eye to wfh with children. Ofc we have a no wfh with children policy too, but senior management completely get that this is an unavoidable situation, and have changed the policy accordingly. The CEO has told us our staff’s wellbeing comes first. It’s only right.

One of our DC is needy & hard work but coping. But she's in and out of my 'office' like a yo-yo. My younger DC is quite frankly showing signs of a mental break down. I don't know what the answer is but it's hell

Thanks for all the comments, moondust, no one had a choice about the schools closing. It's all very well to say unpaid leave etc but I cannot afford to do that. If I could be furloughed I would jump at the chance, I can afford to lose 20% but not all my wages for being in a situation that is beyond my control. I asked to be furloughed and it was refused. Not due to business being busy, most of the time I'm asking for more work to stop my day dragging even more than it is. I cannot see any point being chained at my desk for 8 hours when the work isn't there for me to do. My company actually dont care. The whole of my job could easily be done in the evenings and they would get all of my hours. This is a company who do not recognize any unions. I'm still a member of one but they dont tend to listen to them.
I used to be a civil servant, (not CSA)and I wish I still was.
You see a lot of companies being nothing but brilliant to their staff during this unprecedented situation and then others who expect exactly the same level of service they would get in the office and dont take into account that people do have children and due to this situation no childcare. All I asked was flexibility, my hours would have been the same and they would have lost nothing.
And I would say I'm a good employee, I work hard, my targets are met. My health let's me down sometimes but they knew of my disability at my interview. That doesnt make me a bad employee.

Have you got an HR dept you could speak to? Explain how much stress this is causing you?