How many employers are being arseholes with regard to wfh with children?

[charmers2501]

Would just be interested to see how many employers are not being flexible or supportive with regards to working while also trying to look after children.
I asked as soon as the schools shut about changing my hours and working evenings and over the weekend. I do an admin job and I am classed as a key worker due to the nature of my job. I could easily do my work in the evenings and weekends and I put the request in to do this with no loss of hours. I would have stayed up til midnight if I needed to. I was flatly refused as I was told I needed to work "core" hours.
It's getting harder and harder. My child is constantly in tears or having a major meltdown. I have to log on the system when I have a wee ffs! It's a system that tracks breaks, working time etc.My daughter is struggling badly and I cant cope much longer. There is less work and so I asked again and explained my issues. Again refused. I asked to be furloughed in the end but that was refused too. I got told that I could claim unpaid leave. I cant afford to. I'm a single mum.
I got marked down on a call last week as my child was playing rather loudly with her paw patrol stuff and it was "distracting and could be seen as unprofessional". So they expect 8 hours a day with 2 15 minute breaks and 30 mins lunch and to be at my desk completely for the rest of the time. It's impossible. I cant ignore my daughter. I now have had time taken from my annual leave to make up periods where I was trying to sort out my child. They just expect the same level as if I were in the office and I think I'm going to explode with stress.

That sounds horrible. And unreasonable. Can you take it to a higher level of management?

That is pretty shitty of them. Get signed off sick with stress. My employer is being flexible and understanding that I am not available my usual hours but will do as much as I can. 2 young children. And I imagine most employers are being flexible.

That is frankly awful and what an awful organisation to work for. I would get signed off sick if it continues on the basis of the stress causes. Would you be paid normally if off sick or is it SSP?

My child is constantly in tears or having a major meltdown

Why ?

Can you speak to your HR department or go onto ACAS website for advice ? Do you have an employment contract ? Does that state or specify what your core hours are ?

I have tried and even tried the union but they are so busy I've not had a reply yet. As for going off sick with stress, they would say I had exceeded my sickness levels which would then lead to a disciplinary no doubt. I am registered disabled and have a bit more time off sick due to my medical conditions. It's not something I can help and they were aware when they hired me. They still would give me a bollocking though.
I dont know what to do. Every instinct is telling to sod the job but I dont want to not work. I just want to help my daughter cope and by me working evenings I could fulfil my hours in full when she is in bed and then I could be the mum I'm meant to be. I feel like a right shit mother atm as I feel I am ignoring my daughter over work.

That's really tough. I've been wondering where people like you stand legally with this kind of situation - presumably all they have to offer you is unpaid leave. The people kicking off on the nanny thread about those continuing to use their Nanny's could do with reading this and understanding its the reality for a fair few parents.

Waterlswide, she is just struggling to cope with the lockdown in general. I try and plan fun stuff and we do make the most of when I'm not working but shes getting more and more down. We have no garden, shes an only child, she is having to be left to her own devices for longer than she should be as I've already been "talked" to about not being at my desk when I should be and they took the time out of the annual leave I have left. She is 5 and although I print out worksheets from twinkl and school she is needing my help. All I seem to say is mummy's working baby, I will help you as soon as I can.

Oh and my contract is just saying about my 24 hours weekly which I wanted to split over 7 evenings.

I’m so sorry that sounds truely awful, they should be ashamed. If you are a key worker, could she go into school?

Can you ask for help from your child’s school as she’s 5 and you’re classed as a key worker?

If you are registered disabled you should be protected by the disability discrimination act legislation and your employer should make reasonable adjustments for you. You poor thing, amazes me how employers can behave like this.

Yes I was wondering that, you said you’re a key worker so could it be that your employer is expecting normal work from you because you have the option of childcare and you’ve chosen not to use it for some reason? If that’s not the case they are clearly being horribly unreasonable.

@Littlemiss74 but her issues are nothing to do with her disability? So can’t see how it’s disability discrimination.

That is shit !
Have you spoken to school that you are a key worker ?
Somethings has got to give even if it's a day or 2 that she can go to school .
Can you not speak to HR ? You could argue is discrimination that you are unable to put the hours in during the core hours they suggest due to childcare than employee who doesn't have children . I mean what do they expect a 5 year old to sit quietly all day ?.

Get her back into school. Write to the school saying you are a key worker and it is providing impossible to work at home with her there so you are exercising your right to send her to school. Plenty of my friends in your situation have sent their kid back after completely failing to work at home. The school might kick back, but tough - they have a duty to take her according to government guidelines.

You don't have to write to school. Ring them now!

I would say the stress she’s under may impact on her disability and lead to even more time off sick. Any reasonable employer would want to help by just making some adjustments. The least they can do is look at options with her so that everyone is happy.

I’m a secondary school teacher (lunch hour at moment). I am teaching my classes live to timetable via a live stream - no option to pre-record, upload work. It MUST be done this way.

I have 2 young children. Their primary isn’t option. I could take them to the local ‘hub’ school but it has no wraparound care so that doesn’t help as couldn’t make my P1 or P5 lessons.

My head has been flexible in regards that I can take unpaid leave if I’m ‘struggling’.

It’s horrible isn’t it? I feel like everyone else is having a lovely time and I’m crumbling. Sending support from my miserly self.

Thanks for all replies, school advised that because i can work from home that my daughter should be at home and I do tend to agree. Plus I know kids dont seem to be getting covid but they are super spreaders and on top of my other disabilities I also have COPD and diabetes. If I caught it I would become very I'll more than likely. I've been wearing facemasks for over a year whenever my daughter is I'll before all this as my daughter through a normal childhood cold put me in hospital 3 times where she has either coughed or sneezed or thrown up over me.
I did speak to school last week and they still think it's best she stays home.
I'm more than willing to do my 24 hours and can do but spread over the evenings when she is in bed. Work just refuse and wont listen.

If you’re a keyworker then you should be able to put your child into school and avoid this problem. If your child’s school is closed, they should be able to accommodate them in another local school, the school should advise.
We have been told if we decide not to use our school places then we’ll have to take unpaid leave if we’re unable to work. I’ve got my children’s places on hold as they’re teenagers and they’re fine with me working at home but if my role changes they might need to go in.

I was signed off long term in the support group of ESA which meant I could have just stayed on benefits for life but I wanted to work. It took me years to get to the stage I'm at now. Work is a struggle for me but I want to earn. I want to be able to show my daughter that work is a good thing and I want some extra money to treat her. She doesnt have a normal mum that can run around but I want her to know I do my best.
I just feel like giving up my job at the moment.
Love to all in the wfh situation that are struggling.

This is tough. Are you worried about sending your daughter to school. We are both wfh. My DH employer and mine expect full hours. Our DS is nine though so between schoolwork and skype with friends he is kept busy until 4 when my DH finishes. Can you say to your employer to change hours say 7.00am to 3.30? That way you are there for primary core hours.

Sorry - they sounds like a bloody awful company to work for! When this is all over start looking for a new job immediately- maybe even start the job search now!

I think to only option here is to send to it daughter back to school as others have said! If you only work 24 hours a week - then that’s all you need the school to take her for!

Having no money coming in is not a good position to be in right now

Hi OP

I'm also a key worker, and WFH with 2 DC. One of whom is slightly younger than your DD. Your employer is being awful.

From what you've said you're in the vulnerable group so I think you've done the right thing keeping your DD at home. My employer has been really flexible. Fantastic in fact, and I'm also a key worker. My manager explicitly said do not send DC to school/childcare as one of them has Asthma and advised to work in the evening when I can't fit certain bits of work in the day.

Can you try the union again? If no joy from your local branch can you contact your regional branch? You really need to get someone with some clout on your side to negotiate this with your employer.

In terms of your circumstances, you state you was getting ESA previously, were you claiming other benefits? PIP for example? I'm just thinking if your employer won't budge, then you could get a benefits check if you go on unpaid leave.

Lastly, do not give be up your job. When this is all over, a job will be crucial to the wellbeing of both you and your daughter.

Ask for a business reason in writing as to why you have to be available for core hours.

But if your work involves calls, can you really easily work evenings and weekends or is it something where clients need/expect to be able to call you during the day?