To those who find this lockdown not much different to their normal lives

[Sometimenever100]

I’m asking because I’m curious- no judgements here! To those who say they find lockdown not much different to their normal lives (except DC being at home and aside from work arrangements) In normal times didn’t you even chat to friends, see family, go shopping (not food) enjoy a national trust or park, eat out, go for coffee, invite friends or other children over, visit friends where a longer drive was involved, or take your children anywhere other than local walks?
Again no judgements as everyone lives life differently, I am just so surprised that lots of people on other threads are saying lockdown is not really different to normal for them.

Still working, so DS still in nursery. DH worked from home anyway. Most of my friends live a way away, so it’s normal to text them rather than see them in person.

I am missing taking DS swimming, and seeing my mum. But we just moved back to the UK from overseas, so Skype seems more “normal” than seeing her in person. I wasn’t a big shopper, I got most stuff online so that’s not changed. Food shopping hasn’t changed. Coffee shop in the hospital is still open. Yes we did used to go out at weekends, but not every weekend. So this just feels like a quiet week rather than a massive change in lifestyle.

My life isn’t that different either in many ways.

Single parent to two DS primary age. I do work full time and go to the office 3 days so that is different. And I miss my colleagues ( who I’m lucky are lovely).

Eldest DS has some SEN and cannot be left with babysitter so I am not really able to go out and socialise or go to the gym in the evenings. Work I’m always just flat out to get back to the DC.

I have one other single mum friend who I used to meet up with who I will enjoy seeing face to face again. In some ways it’s easier as don’t feel the guilt of not being able to take my youngest on many play dates and also conversely having to try and help my eldest get over the disappointment of never being invited on play dates etc! Going out with eldest is always stressful tbh.

Having said that trying to home school and work I’m finding unbelievably hard so I will be glad when that eases a bit.

Thanks Sripey.

And our neighbours have taken to playing the cello for us, so that's actually a plus for lockdown!

@ponchek are you able to call the National domestic abuse helpline? 0808 2000 247. Sorry for your situation.

OP sorry for the flack you've received especially as you were worried about receiving flack! I don't think you deserve it. You asked a question in good faith with genuine interest about other people's experiences. If you already knew about their experiences you wouldn't have asked! And people seem to resent that you don't already know. Not your fault.

My life is quite different as I used to work full time and I've been furloughed. But I was trying to conceive and dealing with various miscarriages and complications for the last 18 months so I had pretty much stopped seeing friends anyway as I couldn't drink and I'm introverted so I struggle with socialising without booze, I'm not proud of that but most socialising just makes me want to go home. Also I was constantly stressed and exhausted so just worked and slept, and I hate my job anyway. Just before lockdown I was diagnosed with a thyroid condition which might explain why I could barely make it through the day before.

Last week I had a third miscarriage at 12 weeks and am so grateful for lockdown so I don't have to talk to or see any well meaning family. They are all worried about how the isolation is bad for my grief but it's bloody excellent. I am fully ignoring my phone and don't have to deal with facing anyone. I am in a very angry stage so how I feel might change. But for now, my DP is the only person who I don't want to kill. I will probably be made redundant if the furlough scheme ends and then will be in financial trouble. Until then lockdown is my friend.

I can look back on a rich lifetime of independent travel to places which its often difficult to go now - like Afghanistan, Iran and Syria - and know that I will probably never travel again.

Similar here! I became disabled comparatively young, so don't have as many active years to look back on, but by god I filled the unforgiving minute!

I'm so glad I seized the day. The rich and amazing memories keep me going – while making me sad some days that I'll probably never see those friends again. I had no inkling I would lose everything; if I'd put off doing the things I dreamed of, I would have ended up with nothing.

The biggest differences for me are not being able to go the gym, not having any gigs or football matches to go, and not being able to visit family members outside Manchester. And the queueing for food and wearing a face mask everywhere, obviously. But I work from home so the change isn't as drastic as it is for other people I know.

Mine's hardly changed.

I haven't been able to work for 15 years, mostly because of OCD. I have no friends at all. I generally only leave home to go food shopping anyway, and my circumstances mean that I have been unable to reduce the frequency of those trips.

I already washed my hands before and after doing...well, everything, and for typically 20 minutes each time rather than 20 seconds. I also already washed my keys and bank card before and after going out, cleaned food and drink packaging (and other shopping), wiped down light switches and door handles daily, handled mail with gloves, and had separate indoor and outdoor clothes. I even always cross over or walk in the road to avoid getting too close to people! Although I didn't used to look out for distances of 2m in particular.

The main thing that changed is that I started going to the supermarket first thing instead of whenever I feel like it, and that was actually an improvement because I had a semblance of a "normal" routine; however, now the shops I go to are open till 10pm, so I'm back to being mostly nocturnal which is what happens when I'm left to my own devices.

I also now speak to my dad on the phone every couple of days rather than once a week, but on the other hand I haven't seen him since this started and he would sometimes take me out for a walk somewhere. Also I would very occasionally go to the pictures with one of my brother's. Guess that won't be happening for a while, which makes my life just that little bit sadder than usual. But not by much!

*one of my brothers, not brother's. Obviously. Why can't we have an edit button?

The differences to me are not being able to:

• go to the gym
• go on group dog walks
• occasionally pop into town for lunch or dinner etc
• run the DC around to their various activities

I’m finding that I’m not bothered in the slightest about not being able to do the first three and am highly enjoying not being able to do the last. I don’t work (can’t quite yet say I’ve taken early retirement but close) so much of my time was spent at home anyway. I’m enjoying having an excuse to just potter about and do as I please at home. I do like to travel though, and suspect I will miss our summer holiday later this year.

Pretty much what PerkingFaintly said.

I am missing not going to the pub, but I didn't do that too often and I am also missing having a couple of friends round for a bottle or two of wine.

The only difference lockdown has made is that I now struggle to get deliveries.

I've been housebound through disability for years.
The only thing that's changed for me is that my family are here all day too.

Wow@Doughnut100 that's really tough. I'm very sorry about your third miscarriage. It must be really hard for you at the moment. Look after yourself.

I spent 2 years being 24/7 carer for my aged father, who passed away in April 2019. I couldn't leave the flat, at all - and there was no respite available. Carers came in 4 x a day, but that wasn't exactly a social occasion! Dad was stuck in bed, and had mixed dementia, so wasn't the best conversationalist - he also had little concept of time, so would call for me at all hours of the day and night. I survived thanks to a few good friends who made time to visit - maybe once a week I'd see someone who wasn't a carer. I was in a different country from my DH during this time, and he couldn't come see me because we have animals that needed him, plus he works. I did all our shopping online and got food deliveries.

So - after a few months of freedom, I'm back to being stuck at home - but this time, it's my own home, I'm with the animals and husband, I don't have intrusive carers, and I'm getting enough sleep. This is so much easier than those 2 years of being a carer. Forgive me if I laughed a little when I saw people saying they couldn't handle the situation after 1 week of lockdown!

I realise 'my' lockdown is a lot easier than many peoples' - and I really do feel sorry for those who are struggling.

My life is quiet and small and I'm perfectly content with that. Lockdown hasn't changed that.

I'm not finding it too different apart from DH working from home (and I won't be sorry when he goes back!) ... I work from home anyway, and my family and friends are in different parts of the country. We rarely go to pubs or eat out, do food shopping online mostly as I'm disabled. I would normally drive to town once or twice a week and have a walk around, use the post office, go to pharmacy, look at charity shops etc, so I guess that's all I miss.

It hasn't made all that much difference to my life. Which has underlined to me something I already subconsciously knew, that my life has become, gradually and over a number of years, very, very boring.

When this is all over, changes are going to be made.

I do, OP. Don’t really miss those things, though.

Which is weird.

Doughnut100 Sorry to hear about your loss

Usually I am a workaholic.up for early home 1030 knackered on my days off.I work unsociable hours so more acquaintances than friends
.I love my days off alone recharging gardening and chores.Previously I did love shopping but panic attacks stopped me driving and I usually struggle in social situations so dislike parties meals out etc.I had therapy but don't find socialising fun.
In a workplace setting I am a chatty extroverted person.Just as happy to potter around alone though.I have seen dh loads more the last 7 weeks.
I wake up the same time and so long as I have things to do I am happy.

I don't have friends or family that I am able to see very often because they live too far away. I have a disability and can't always get out because of that. I don't really go shopping for anything apart from food unless I really need new clothes. I'm just not that into shopping as an activity - although I actually quite enjoy supermarkets.

I did take my DD out when I was up to it, and on my good days would sometimes would get a train to one of the cities near us and just have a wander round on my own while she's at school, but mostly my life in lockdown isn't that different.

Those of you that work entirely from home -

Would you be willing/able to tell me what you do even if by pm?

Ideally I'd like to wfh too but have been looking for years and not been able to find anything suitable.

I'm currently housebound due to agoraphobia and this is a regular occurrence for me so a job entirely wfh is what I need.

Don't currently have a laptop or even desktop computer etc but could get the relevant equipment once I know what spec is required/recommended (possibly this would ironically need to be when lockdown eases now)

But I mean this as a long term thing.

Not only because of the agoraphobia but I am unhappy with where I am living at the moment and would like to move back to somewhere I lived before as that's where all my close friends are. I've really not settled where I am at the moment.

If I had a job I could do from anywhere that would be perfect.

I know - hens teeth!

But even if I could get something to do me at the moment that would be great.

I hate not working.

Single parent, living several hours from family and friends, WFH and distance student in normal times. No friends locally sadly. Chronic illness that causes pain and wipes me out.

So - chat to friends, see family - seeing them more via Zoom normally go a few months without seeing them so no change.

Go shopping (not food) - not frequent anyway, more likely to go online.

Enjoy a national trust or park - no car to get to NT normally (London)

Eat out, go for coffee - yeah I miss a coffee out. But I only go on my own with a book.

Invite friends or other children over - children yes, normally. But DD is FaceTiming her friends daily so it feels the same!

Visit friends where a longer drive was involved - Same as above.

Take children anywhere other than local walks - yes, I miss day trips around London but they’re irregular. Weekends with DD are low key and revolve around her sports which I struggle to get her to on a bad pain day, so I don’t miss that much.

I have made friendly acquaintances with other mums but no deep friendships locally. It’s interesting to see how difficult people are finding my normal life and how much support is being put in place. I guess this will all vanish once the fit and healthy are back to normal!

It's different for me in some ways, because dh and I and the dc are all at home, rather than work or school. But I don't really socialise normally. Most of my friends and all of my family are hundreds of miles away, so I'm used to keeping in touch by phone and social media anyway. Our main outings are dog walks, as normal.

I'm a keyworkers so still going into work. If this had happened 6 years ago I would have been devastated for my social life.

I feel like I've been on lock down having 2 young children and particularly breastfeeding until age 2yo. No family nearby. It limits how much you can go out. I've spent a lot more time at home since having children. I had just started venturing out swimming and to the gym in 3 months prior to lockdown.

Prior to that I've worked abroad, would have travelling at weekends meeting friends, going to weddings/ hen dos etc. Hese days I'm missing a lot of children's parties!

@onlinelinda and @owlstwooting thank you both very much. I can't tell anyone I'm really life so i rant about it on here, thank you for caring x

I appreylota of people are in a worse situation than me and I send you all lots of love. X