To those who find this lockdown not much different to their normal lives

[Sometimenever100]

I’m asking because I’m curious- no judgements here! To those who say they find lockdown not much different to their normal lives (except DC being at home and aside from work arrangements) In normal times didn’t you even chat to friends, see family, go shopping (not food) enjoy a national trust or park, eat out, go for coffee, invite friends or other children over, visit friends where a longer drive was involved, or take your children anywhere other than local walks?
Again no judgements as everyone lives life differently, I am just so surprised that lots of people on other threads are saying lockdown is not really different to normal for them.

[ApplePearStew]

I'm finding it interesting, if that's the right word, as this was my sort of life for a few years. Three weeks before coronvirus life opened up then it changed again 😭.

It's very interesting to see so many people in the same boat and as PP said realise that I genuinely was isolated and that lack of hobbies was a cause of some of my anxiety.

I have felt less isolated in this lockdown than the previous situation as I'm venting my feelings more, rather than constantly feeling misunderstood.

I have also decided to work on hobbies, personal development-skills for managing anxiety, and commit to somehow become less isolated (not sure how- make new friends? It's been so long 😂).

I am learning quite a lot from the ethos of be kind to yourself and don't beat yourself up, and quite enjoying being away from the narrative of must do more, you're never enough- is this just my experience, or is it in the education system, time poor society, and the whole consumerist economy.

I am quite jealous of people with gardens at the moment.

[NorthernLass75]

I hadn’t thought I fell into this category but, after reading your opening post, I think I do!

I’m married, no children, we both work full time and do long hours. We live in a city, my family are hundreds of miles away, DH has no family. We don’t have a big friendship group and mainly socialise with colleagues. I don’t really have many friends in this city and we all have busy jobs so don’t see each other all that often.

DH and I are both WFH currently. In lockdown, we still get up early and work all day. When we finish work we cook dinner and watch tv/read etc. so no big change there compared to before.
I’m able to do 100% of my job remotely so, while there are more video calls, the work I do had any changed and I adapted to WFH full time quite quickly (previously would have WFH maybe 1 day a week).
I typically travel (nationally) for work maybe 1-2 nights a month and that’s stopped which I’m very pleased about.

I’m not a big fan of shopping and trudging through the city so do most of my non-food shopping online anyway. I haven’t needed to buy much lately (would usually buy a few new bits for my work wardrobe every few weeks but not needed now- getting through fewer beauty/cosmetic products).
We’re both still on full pay so will shop online when I need stuff and I’ve bought a few bits over the last few weeks, mainly to make working from home as comfortable and pleasant as possible.

Also lucky to have a house that’s well-equipped in terms of entertainment. Have Netflix, iPads, Alexa, Spotify, online library etc. Lots of books too, and a stack of board games.

I miss my colleagues but we have daily calls and video calls so get to see them and have a bit of a laugh. We’re all close and would probably go for drinks or dinner every few weeks but that hasn’t been happening. I don’t feel particularly bereft, we’re all just getting on with it.

I usually travel to see my family every 6 weeks or so, so overdue a visit but keeping in touch via phone and WhatsApp and they’re safe and well so it’s not pressing on my mind too much.

Currently going to the supermarket about once a fortnight which is probably about average for us. Veg box with eggs and dairy is still being delivered weekly. Lucky to have an amazing bakery on my street so can get fresh bread and pastries whenever I want.

Before lockdown, we ate out an awful lot so that’s different but loads of local restaurants are doing delivery now so still having a nice restaurant meal once or twice a week.

Others things I’m not doing are grabbing a coffee in a cafe, but making do with my coffee machine at home. I do miss getting my nails done, and my brows and hair are in a state which is unusual for me, but again, not overly impacted or concerned.

Also miss random drives to the beach and a stroll on the pier with an ice-cream after work when the longer evenings are coming in, but it hasn’t had much of a negative impact.
And brunch. I miss lovely boozy weekend brunches in funky cafes. And fancy cinemas (the types with bars and no popcorn).
These are activities I’d mainly do with DH, and not friends or family.

I think I’m just a natural introvert and like my own space, and pottering around at home. Also lucky to have a lovely marriage and we rub along very well together so it’s a happy house to be stuck inside.

[ApplePearStew]

Oh yes as well the fact there are now so many more guides-articles, videos, zoom meetings, on mental health, working from home, professional meetings, services online. I'm saving looking as I'm struggling at the moment with information overload but I did have a meeting online with lots of people, it was great.

[FiveOutOfFiveGoldblums]

I haven't been back in the UK long and am a lone parent to small children, one of whom is neurodiverse (I was pretty much in social isolation with him for 18 months because of his anxieties).
We went to the cinema, the three of us, twice in the past six months.
I had just returned to work so miss that and home ed is absolutely killing me (my atypical child is now out of kilter and back to being nocturnal so all the progress we had made feels like it has been taken away). As to the following:
In normal times didn’t you even chat to friends - only via social media, I lost touch with people in the UK so my friends are in the country I left
see family - I have been estranged from them
go shopping (not food) - not really, I can count on one hand
enjoy a national trust or park - no, it was on my list
eat out yes we miss a local carvery
go for coffee yes we miss a local cafe
invite friends or other children over - wasn't doable
visit friends where a longer drive was involved - not doable
or take your children anywhere other than local walks? we miss swimming

So, the pool aside, life isn't that much different...simply that I have no respite from the kids and have become a nag and I find them very hard to teach. To the extent that I had stopped for a while because I didn't want their memories of me to be that I shouted/slave drove non-stop but school not happy so we are sucking it up.

[Whatdoyouknowwhenyouknownowt]

Yep, another pair of introverts happily married here, pottering about being amused by my dogs & chickens.

A friend has just suggested a Zoom call...

[ThisIsMyStory1]

I'm seeing very little difference too.

We have two disabled children, so outings were in confined spaces with no other people about so that DC's were safe and couldn't escape.
I worked from home every day anyway, my husband is self employed and has no reliance on other people to do his job.
Our older DC is still going to school as their needs are extremely high. Our younger DC was only going to a childminder twice a week so now they're just knocking about at home doing what we'd usually do.

I don't really see friends very often, maybe every 3/4 months. I'd see my Mum a bit more frequently or she'd look after my younger DC every now and then, so I guess that's changed a bit but not having a noticeable difference.
My DH has a social hobby that he used to physically go to once a week, he now does it online.

We did online shops anyway because there was never time to go between work and DC getting home from school. We generally need two of us here when both children are here.

So yeah, nothing has really changed for us. I'm still considering taking DC to the beach at 7am to get some sensory input over the weekend, we'd be allowed to do that because of their disabilities and it would be massively helpful as last weekend we didn't do much and their sleep was affected.

[BakedCam]

Social distancing is a dream for me.

I am quite happy at home, reading, sewing, drive in the country, no calls, only when I want them to happen. I'm just unsocialble in the most common context.

But, I find solace in my self-imposed solitary choices. Have my garden, my dog and I read on here about those that are desperate for friends and family to be in their lives.

It would appear that many just do not like their own company. I quite like the company of my DP, my children, but most of all, the company of my grandchildren. Our relationships are strong enough to endure time apart.

[ALittleBitofVitriol]

We already homeschooled and dh is still going to work so our day to day lives aren't much different.

The kids' activities/socialising are mostly on zoom now, so less driving for me, and we already lived on a rural property so they have plenty of space and fresh air. It's probably hardest for my teen who was just starting to spread her independent wings.

We keep up with friends and family electronically. I do miss them but we'd only see each other a few times a month anyway so in the grand scheme of things we're only missing a couple of visits.

We're generally not the type to be going out a lot, we have plenty of space and work to do here so we're happy homebodies. Again, in the grand scheme of things, we're only missing a few things. We're quite enjoying the slower pace and less pressure.

[twinnywinny14]

Not much different here either. I’m still working full time so that’s not changed. We work 60hrs a week so don’t do much else in the week and we don’t eat out/go for coffee or to the pub/cinema/shopping mall as we have no spare cash to do so. We walk our dogs and have lots of different walks for variety but our lives are pretty simple normally and therefore haven’t changed much at all

[viccat]

Not seeing much difference at all here.
I live alone. I'm self employed and do work that can be done remotely from home all of the time, I love not having to commute.

No car and and I've done my supermarket shop online for over 10 years now. I buy almost everything else online too, of course I occasionally used to walk to the local high street or the larger shopping area nearby, or need to visit the Post Office or something. I guess the main difference to my normal times is the lack of choice over doing things, but it doesn't affect my daily life if that makes sense... so for example I'm due an eye test but obviously can't go to the opticians for that now. I had a tattoo appointment booked for late March and the studio had to close so it was cancelled. I had made plans to see a group of friends in a pub and obviously we couldn't meet. That sort of a thing, but those things are rare for me to do anyway.

Most of my closest friends either don't live near enough to see often, or even the ones who do are like me and prefer staying at home over going out so we always mostly communicate online or text etc. I don't have any family living anywhere close enough to visit regularly either.

I've actually always spent a lot of time at home, even as a child it was how we lived as a family. We were more likely to go for a walk than visit somewhere busy etc. Having people round ours was rare, more like a few times a year thing than daily or weekly. I'm also an introvert and while I occasionally enjoy seeing people, I'm loving there's no pressure to go anywhere now. If anything my friends are talking to me more now when everyone is working from home and available during the day.

[Naithnira]

In normal times didn’t you even chat to friends, see family, go shopping (not food) enjoy a national trust or park, eat out, go for coffee, invite friends or other children over, visit friends where a longer drive was involved, or take your children anywhere other than local walks?
I don’t have any friends. I didn’t go non-food shopping or eat out very often because I don’t have money to spend and it’s not fun to go alone with DC in tow. I didn’t go to work because childcare costs too much. I would go on a day out sometimes at the weekend but not always. Often by the weekend I wanted to hand DC to DH and have a rest, not go on a big family day out where I’d still be on parenting duty. During the week I was more likely to make small local outings like the park or a walk in the woods, and these are still available. My parents are my only family, so the main way my life has changed is not seeing them.

This whole thing has made me realise that no, I’m not depressed - my life of being alone is actually really hard and other people are struggling to live like I do.

[LucaFritz]

Im a single mum to a 13 week old and ive always done all my shopping online apart from the odd trip out to town every few month's and i was pretty immobile towards the end of my pregnancy with spd anyway so haven't noticed much difference between now and post lockdown. I no friends whatsoever or family its just me and DS so nothing to miss there but all baby classes and Dr's appointments were canceled back in early march so ive missed those. We go for a walk for about 30mins every few days just for some sunlight but even that is hard now as everyone where i live seems to be flouting lockdown now so the street's parks and roads are jam packed which makes it's nerve wracking

[ArriettyJones]

I’m surprised that so many people seem surprised that many people live similarly to this all the time.

Some people must live very narrow lives if they’ve never considered a disabled or caring lifestyle and how limiting that can be.

[Purpleartichoke]

I already did most of my shopping online. Don’t have many friends and none nearby. We would take dd places, go to the movies, activities for her etc. really the only difference is we don’t feel the pressure to set her up on play dates or take her for enrichment activities. I already worked from home.
Life is pretty much normal for me, except that I don’t have to worry about stepping away from my work from home desk in time to do the school run.

[Makinganewthinghappen]

Tbh - so far the lockdown has been a welcome relaxation. All of our children are homeschooled anyway but normally I drag them about to groups, clubs/classes various outings I think because I think they need it rather than them actually wanting it.

Without the pressure to do that everyone seems much happier - the only thing they miss is karate everything else they couldn’t care less about.

It has been wonderful dh working from home but we are lucky that we have a room he can go work in and his job is 100 % doable from home.

We have very little family - I do miss seeing MIL but tbh we only saw her once every few weeks anyway so it hasn’t made a huge difference.

Our house is full of people (2 adults 6 children) and we have access to plenty of things to keep us happy. The lockdown had made me appreciate just how lucky we are but it has also given me anxiety about how easily it can all be taken away!

I feel massively sorry for people who are alone, if it was just me I honestly would struggle. But tbh this isn’t hugely different to my normal life - in fact it has been less stressful.

Only single thing I miss is our regular weekend stroll around shops!

[Kingjarvis]

The only difference for me is that DS isn’t in school and the shops are shut. Everything else is normal. I still go to work and I still go my walks and I still get my online shop every week. Family live miles away so never saw them anyway

[Thehogfatherstolemycurry]

I don't have any family to miss seeing. Normally I'd be at work all day so that's different but we all still chat online daily. DH is still working - sometimes from home/sometimes the office so I see more of him which is nice. During the day the kids mainly get on with their online school work so pretty relaxed. At the weekend we'd normally do a hobby which is now being done online and church which I do miss. Evenings are better as we're not rushing about to various classes and hobbies and I still chat to my friend, we just arrange a time to facetime, put the kettle on and then have a chat for a bit. Just need the sun to come out again and we're dandy.

[ScarfLadysBag]

We did all the stuff in the OP but tbh I'm not missing it hugely as both DH and I are introverts and homebodies, the kind of people who are secretly glad when plans are cancelled It will be nice to see friends when this is over but I don't feel like I particularly need the face to face social interaction from them. The only thing I really miss is seeing my mum. If I had to try explain it, I'll say that I do that stuff and enjoy it when I do it but don't hugely miss it when I can't 🤷‍♀️ It doesn't really affect my wellbeing in any way.

DH is probably enjoying it more than me as he doesn't have friends (because he has no interest in seeing friends or going out with them, he's an odd duck!) or any family close by and he's a bit of a hermit anyway! But neither of us are struggling or finding life difficult, although that's partly because we don't have financial worries and have a big enough house and garden that we have plenty of space when needed. We've also both worked from home for a number of years too so it's not really changed our daily routine.

[Toomboom]

Not much difference for me. I have no friends to go out with, so that hasn't changed. I don't have young children. My parents live 200 miles away, so wouldn't be seeing them everyday. Other family live abroad.

I miss the routine of going to work and seeing people, but apart from that this is my normal life that I live everyday even without lock down.

[crosser62]

I’m an antisocial introvert so it’s perfect for me.

I dislike shopping.

Refuse parties, leaving/birthday/wedding/baby shower type dos any way.

I go to work, come home, go to work , come home.
That’s my life normally except the school run a couple of times a week.

I’m quite happy on my day off to stay home, clean, laundry, gardening, tv, study, read.

I do have a network of very close friends, family etc who I kinda miss but I’m not upset about it or anything, I’ll see them soon enough.

It’s fine, I said so in a thread recently and was savaged by poster after poster who ripped me limb from limb for daring to say that actually, I’m enjoying my isolated day off from work

[Movinghouseatlast]

We live on the edge of a rural village. We moved last year so have no friends here yet.

People visited last year, but all in the summer months. So I would say the equivalent weeks last year have been the same as this year.

The shops round here are open- one in one out. We have an veg box delivered and Waitrose once a month. The Baker in the village is open still, and we ho to the next village to buy meat from the organic butcher. We make our own wine and grow vegetables and flowers for cutting.

The only difference is not having to work! Oh, and no income. We run holiday cottages.

We have actually spoken to our friends more than last year. I think in the summer I will really miss going to the beach and swimming every day if that is still not allowed. I will miss going on holiday.

I have to remind myself of the horror that is going on. I worry a lot about our financial future and the broader economy.

I don't understand the nasty comments people are making! It is a perfectly understandable question.

[SayrraT]

My life hasn't changed that much, I work in a lab so I'm working everyday as normal (as are my colleagues - with social distancing in place).

I have horses so I see them everyday, I'm not riding but one horse is lame anyway, I miss competing/lessons.

I'm not seeing my friend who I share the yard with as we've worked out a rota to avoid being together but we still chat regularly.

As for the other things on your list:

chat to friends - still chat to friends via phone but yes, I am missing them

see family - chat to family but we live apart so I didn't see them that often anyway. Chat more than we normally would. Dad has discovered what's app and sends things all the time!

go shopping (not food) - never really been a shopper, buy jeans etc in the supermarket and live mostly in horsey gear

enjoy a national trust or park - never did this anyway

eat out - hmm, guess so, though we don't do that often so in normal circumstances may or may not have been out

go for coffee - miss this with friends, usually go every 3 weeks or so

invite friends or other children over - live in thr middle of nowhere, don't have children

visit friends where a longer drive was involved - hmm, visit faraway friend couple of times a year. Visited just before covid so not due for a while

take your children anywhere other than local walks - don't have children, don't like walking

Pre-lockdown my life was work, horses, sport (away from home) and now it's work, horses, sport (at home). I see my OH more now that I'm spending less time at horses.

[InMySpareTime]

Not much difference to my life, I have ME/CFS so cannot walk far anyway.
I used to meet friends at church, bible group and a cafe, now all these meetings have moved online.
DH continues to do the shopping for us once a week.
We only travel to see family once a year anyway, in Feb half term so this happened as usual.
My life is fine, but has very limited contact with people. This is ok with me. I find interacting with people tiring.

[daisypond]

It’s not massively different for me. Chatting to friends I tended to do by phone or online anyway. Family live in different parts of the country, so didn’t see them much, though always speak in the phone, so no different. I never go non-food shopping- it’s boring. There’s no National Trust near me, so we don’t do that - we don’t have a car. We don’t eat out - we eat much nicer home-cooked food. I’ve never gone out for coffee- I don’t like coffee much at all and would never do that. Friends tend to live quite far away, so we don’t have them over.

[Oblomov20]

Quarantine along is not enough. That is clearly true.