My work won't pay or furlough me.

[Mammatomyboy16]

So I have a 13 month old son. My dad looks after him when I go to work. Since we went on lockdown my dad hasn't been able to look after him as he's classed as vulnerable. Over 70 and has diabetes. I'm a key worker so haven't been able to go to work. My partner is also a key worker so can't stay off and look after our son.

I've taken some weeks timebanking, holidays and 2 weeks we had to self isolate as my son had a high temperature but he was fine.

Anyway, my work won't furlough me. They've said if I don't come back to work next week I won't be getting paid. I've told them the only way I can come back to work is if my dad comes back and looks after him, which is risking his life and my sons life. I am furious with my work. They have furloughed other people which I understand as they live with someone who's vulnerable. But because I don't live with my dad I won't be furloughed.

I can't afford to not be paid. I can't work around my partners hours as he gets in so late from work everyday.

I don't know what to do!

As work can’t furlough you indefinitely and your dad will need to shield for a long time, you have no alternative other than either to give up work or find out what childcare is available in your area.

Won't school take him? If you are both key workers. I thought they were open and taking children?

This is a prime example of why people should check out their finances and save before they have children. Even without COVID19, your dad is over 70, what are you going to do if he dies before your child reaches school age. You’ll need alternative childcare anyway as he won’t be able to run around after a toddler will he? Time to get for you and your partner to get better paid jobs that covers your childcare cost and expenses, or suck it up and one of you become a stay at home parent.

Even if they did furlough you, the furlough scheme will end and your dad will still be shielding. What then?

Even if they did furlough you, the furlough scheme will end and your dad will still be shielding

He isn't shielding.

@Nixen what a rude comment. So basically if you can't afford to put you're child in childcare for the first few years of his/her life you shouldn't have one?

That's good new stuff your husband has fixed shifts op, it's easier to spot the gaps. How many days does he work? What are your contracted hours? Are you able to work long day s on his days off? It might mean you're working 20/24hrs a week instead of the 37 you usually work (guessing here until you give us more information) but it would mean income without expenditure.

it's not that I'm choosing not to go to work. I cannot go to work at the moment, what am I supposed to do with my son if I go to work?

Put him into childcare. It's still open for the children of key workers. That is your only choice if you want to get paid.

If you do not wish to use childcare (for whatever reason including not wanting to pay for it) then you will need to take unpaid leave. It would be unreasonable to expect your employer to pay you to stay at home not working when you are a key worker and needed, and unreasonable to expect your employer to furlough you when you have a job available for you to do.

Your child is your responsibility, not your employers.

@Mammatomyboy16 correct. You have choices -

1. work and pay for childcare
2. be a stay at home parent and live on one salary

It’s not rocket science, people should plan a lot more carefully before starting a family but they don’t! OP will need to make a choice now between the two options above 🤷🏼‍♀️

OP childminders are often cheaper than nurseries, make you check out tax free childcare too - could make it more viable for you to continue working

hahahahaha I don’t rely on my dad because it’s free!!!!!!!

Well you do really. You’ve said you can’t afford alternative childcare and you’re not working because he’s no longer available due to shielding.

Someone asked if your partners work can help with childcare provision.

Simple fact is your employer will not furlough you. Makes no difference how angry you are, if you don't go to work you won't be paid and may also be looking at a disciplinary procedure.
So you either find childcare which doesn't involve an over 70yr old or you don't get paid.

@Mammatomyboy16 sorry, I thought you had said that you couldn’t afford childcare hence why I assumed that’s why you were using your Dad.
Easy solution then, use the childcare that’s available to key workers.

You were going to face this situation sooner or later anyway as it’s not fair on either of them for a 70+ year old to be chasing after an active toddler 5 days a week

Why can't you afford childcare if you're both still working as normal?

This seems like such a negative post from the op, people are giving you advice. I understand your angry but if they won't furlough you then there is nothing you can do other than pay for childcare or take unpaid leave

As I understand it you could get childcare from somewhere it is just you don't want to pay for it.

It's not an attack on you OP but you do really only have 2 options. Work and pay for childcare or be a sahm.

Your dad won't be able to do childcare for 12-18 months. You need a plan for now.

Has your partner checked what his employer can offer? Can he take some leave now so you can go back for a bit.
Don’t risk your job if there is a way round this. A child is a joint responsibility and women shouldn’t jeopardise their livelihood for childcare reasons (it’s why women face more poverty at all life stages?

So your question is actually "my dad can't babysit anymore and I won't put my dc in childcare, why won't my work pay me to sit at home?"

This lockdown has really shown up the grabby people.

I do have sympathy OP. I did the maths before having children and could afford childcare, but then ended up having twins. I had the choice of paying more than I earned in childcare or giving up work. That's the choice you have - pay for childcare or give up work. I get that it's annoying but surely if you're both working full time you can afford childcare for a few months?

Unfortunately you are in a worse situation as you are key workers and eligible for childcare, therefore you are asking them to furlough you because you cannot afford it, rather than you cannot work because there is no childcare available. I don't think they're being unreasonable to be honest, and furlough will end before the shielded are advised that it's okay to mix households probably, so it won't help long term anyway.

@SouthernComforts hahahahaha hilarious. Grabby people? Because I can't afford childcare, and tbh I'd rather work part time and watch and spend time with my son growing up than being miserable at work just so I can afford him to go the nursery 5 days a week.

How the fuck did I know a pandemic was going to happen?!

So if he's on commission I assume he's on the sales side. Working for a supplier to the NHS he is classed as a keyworker but even keyworkers should be working at home if they are able to. If he is in sales then he is able to.

I don't really understand why you had an elderly person looking after your DC in the first place? I wouldn't ask my 50yo DM to look after my children while I go to work, let alone someone that's over the age of 70 with a condition, i think it's too much for him imo. What was your plan for when he physically cannot cope with looking after DC?

@AStarSoBright we had to self isolate for two weeks due to my son having a temperature. His work then sent a laptop home for him to work from. He tried for two days but it wasn't working properly. His work haven't allowed anyone to work from home unfortunately!