My work won't pay or furlough me.

[Mammatomyboy16]

So I have a 13 month old son. My dad looks after him when I go to work. Since we went on lockdown my dad hasn't been able to look after him as he's classed as vulnerable. Over 70 and has diabetes. I'm a key worker so haven't been able to go to work. My partner is also a key worker so can't stay off and look after our son.

I've taken some weeks timebanking, holidays and 2 weeks we had to self isolate as my son had a high temperature but he was fine.

Anyway, my work won't furlough me. They've said if I don't come back to work next week I won't be getting paid. I've told them the only way I can come back to work is if my dad comes back and looks after him, which is risking his life and my sons life. I am furious with my work. They have furloughed other people which I understand as they live with someone who's vulnerable. But because I don't live with my dad I won't be furloughed.

I can't afford to not be paid. I can't work around my partners hours as he gets in so late from work everyday.

I don't know what to do!

[Staticelle]

So really you can either leave or have some time off unpaid

[Couchbettato]

I had a similar issue OP, but when I said that I could do ad-hoc shifts on the days my partner has off, they agreed to make the rest up with exceptional circumstance pay. This was not offered to me until I struck up a discussion between them and my union.

My workplace also refused to furlough even though I pushed till I was blue in the face but they explained I'd lose my death in service benefits if I were furloughed and I can also work from home.

Perhaps you should ask for a formal meeting and tell them what you can and what you can't do instead of what you won't do, and ask if there's any way they can support you financially and meet you halfway.

[SeriouslyRetro]

Are your workplace open to the idea of part time?
I think that's the best option going forwards, you work on the two days your husband has off, no childcare required.

It's hard for a year or two but then your child will be in school.

[NYCDreaming]

Grabby people? Because I can't afford childcare, and tbh I'd rather work part time and watch and spend time with my son growing up than being miserable at work just so I can afford him to go the nursery 5 days a week.

Great, do that then.

[RedToothBrush]

hahahahaha I don't rely on my dad because it's free!!!!!!! He offered and absolutely loves spending time with his grandson.

Erm, you do.

You've literally said you can't afford childcare.

You have a long term childcare problem if your father no longer wishes to provide free childcare due to health reasons.

You are going to have to find a solution in the next month or so, because the furlough scheme is short term and your problem is medium to long term as social distancing will continue for some considerable time longer.

Ultimately its not your employers problem to solve your childcare problem.

They aren't obliged to agree to furlough you. You can request it, but they don't have to agree to it.

If they agreed to your request, how many other members of staff would request equal treatment? Thus creating a much bigger staffing problem which could have much more serious effects.

Therefore you are going to have to decide how important your job is to you in the long term and whether you can afford not to pay for childcare.

You have taken your father's willingness to babysit somewhat for granted, which is precisely why you are in the position you are now.

[maddy68]

I have the same issue. I have had literally no money for 5 weeks

[BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz]

@Nixenwhat a rude comment. So basically if you can't afford to put you're child in childcare for the first few years of his/her life you shouldn't have one?

Well, yes.

Or you and their dad share the childcare.

[SeriouslyRetro]

Is your husband prepared to do sole childcare for whole days? Is that part of the problem?

[teqcar]

a rude comment. So basically if you can't afford to put you're child in childcare for the first few years of his/her life you shouldn't have one?

Yes OP, yes. You need to be able to afford your children. It's no one else's responsibility, least of all your employers.

[CallmeAngelina]

hahahahaha I don't rely on my dad because it's free!!!!!!!
Well, I'm sorry, but you kind of do, really. Because he can no longer do it and you say you "cannot afford" to put him in childcare.

I know your son is not of school-age, but to the poster who said that schools are open for childcare 7 days a week, that is NOT the case across the board. In fact, I've only ever seen it mentioned on here once or twice, and nowhere in real life at all.

[Mammatomyboy16]

@teqcar I can afford my children. Just because I can't afford to put him in nursery 5 days a week doesn't mean I shouldn't have children.

[comatosemuvva]

I'm sorry but it seems like you do have the option of childcare you just don't want to pay for it, why should your work furlough you for that reason? There are people who genuinely wed to be furloughed

[comatosemuvva]

Need* 🤦🏻‍♀️

[teqcar]

I can afford my children. Just because I can't afford to put him in nursery 5 days a week doesn't mean I shouldn't have children.

I'm not saying you shouldn't have a child because you can't afford nursery 5 days a week I'm saying you should not now be bitching about your work based on your life choices and financial situation.

[TeacupDrama]

it does't appear anywhere in your posts but childcare is available to children of keyworkers have you investigated this, where it is how much it is it maybe worth taking the hit financially to keep your job open as when furlough ends ie your business can operate as normal ( probably mid may- early June when government restricitons lifted ) then you will have no furlough option and still no childcare as your Dad will still be shielding you need to plan for this as I imagine most businesses will be allowed to operate fully by mid-end of June apart from cafes/ restaurants pubs clubs etc

[LemonTT]

The only way you can afford children is to have someone look after them or your employer pay you to stay home and do nothing. In the absence of any other information that’s what you are saying.

Are you going to speak to your LA about children options?
Are either you or your partner prepared to negotiate or challenge your employers stance. I don’t think either want bad publicity.

[SpudsAreLife84]

Trust me, I hate paying 2/3 of my salary for the nloody Nanny, but it's not my enolyetw problem that the children can't go to grandparents anymore! So I suck it up because I want to have a career and a decent pension etc so if it means paying this for 12/18/24 months I will. The alternative is to quit work. You have the exact same choice. At least it is just 1 child and not 2! Look at nurseries and childminders, many are still open for key workers. Your LA has all the details, just give them a call. Or quit your job. Only options you have really.

[TerrapinStation]

If you won't consider any kind of childcare you won't be able to work. It might not be fair but it seems that you don't have any choice but to give up work. You can't force your employer to furlough you or to pay you when you aren't working.

[DisgruntledGuineaPig]

OP - ignore the fact that the reason your father can't do childcare is due to the current lockdown. The fact is, your father can't do childcare due to a health reason - frankly he could have hit with a different health reason some other time, like a friend's mum who did childcare who had a bad fall, ended up with both arms in plaster, so was out of action for 7 weeks!

Your dad can't do childcare anymore. So you have options, pay for childcare or stop working if your wage is the one your family can cope without.

Childminders round here charge approx £50 a day, although it does vary and many do discounts for fulltime. You are looking at around £1k a month for a full time place. Would you need a full time place? Can you and your DP both go to 4 days a week meaning you only had to pay for 3 days? Have you explored any benefit help towards childcare costs?

If this is going to be an issue for the next 12 - 18 months, then you do need to find a long term solution, and your dad can no longer do childcare, so you either need to see if it's still worth it for your family for you to work, or not. I definately would ask your employer if part time was an option.

[Failedtothinkofanythingorigina]

"I can afford my children. Just because I can't afford to put him in nursery 5 days a week doesn't mean I shouldn't have children.*

No but if you can't afford childcare or to have a stay at home parent you shouldn't have children. You have the option to take unpaid leave. Are you saying you can afford that, you just don't want to?

[NailsNeedDoing]

To be fair OP, relying on a 70 year old diabetic for childcare so that you can work was always going to be risky.

If your work won’t furlough you when they could, then that is shitty. But if you’re a key worker and they feel they need you, I can understand their position. Assuming you’ve explained your position as well as you can to HR, and they are still taking the position if no work no pay, then obviously your choices are limited, and you might have to consider either leaving your job. It’s something that other people who can’t afford childcare already had to do before lockdown. Or, you could move your Dad in with you and ensure that both you and your dp mitigate the risk as much as possible by using PPE at work.

[MontysOarlock]

Well maybe pay for childcare for the next few months and take the financial hit with a view that this is temporary.

My lovely Mum looked after my sister's children from when they were a few months old whilst she worked.

My Mum was sadly diagnosed with cancer and dead within 3 months and she was nowhere near 70. Luckily my Dad could take over, plus my sister's children by that stage were both in primary school. So no toddlers.

It happens and you need to have a plan in place for if it does. Or it just becomes too much for your Dad.

[ilovemydogandMrObama]

@DisgruntledGuineaPig - really great post.

[Sparklingplasters]

What’s your long term childcare strategy? Aside from coronavirus?

Approach your employer again about furlough but if not then unpaid leave seems like your only option,

[Comefromaway]

I’m afraid everyone is right. Furlough can be used for lack of childcare reasons but that doesn’t mean lack of free childcare. As a key worker you have childcare available to you.

My mother in law used to provide childcare when dh and I worked on a Saturday. But we always had in the back of our minds that her age and early onset dementia meant that this may have to change with little. warning.

Relying on the health of a 70 year old for childcare with a soon to be toddler just isn’t feasible.