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Original poster

My work won't pay or furlough me.

451 replies

Mammatomyboy16 · 28/04/2020 13:33

So I have a 13 month old son. My dad looks after him when I go to work. Since we went on lockdown my dad hasn't been able to look after him as he's classed as vulnerable. Over 70 and has diabetes. I'm a key worker so haven't been able to go to work. My partner is also a key worker so can't stay off and look after our son.

I've taken some weeks timebanking, holidays and 2 weeks we had to self isolate as my son had a high temperature but he was fine.

Anyway, my work won't furlough me. They've said if I don't come back to work next week I won't be getting paid. I've told them the only way I can come back to work is if my dad comes back and looks after him, which is risking his life and my sons life. I am furious with my work. They have furloughed other people which I understand as they live with someone who's vulnerable. But because I don't live with my dad I won't be furloughed.

I can't afford to not be paid. I can't work around my partners hours as he gets in so late from work everyday.

I don't know what to do!

OP posts:
AnotherEmma · 30/04/2020 15:17

"I don't want my son to go to nursery"

Yes that much was obvious all along.
"Can't afford" = don't want to pay for it.
News flash: most working parents have to use childcare of some sort whether it's nursery or a childminder. If you're lucky enough to have family doing childcare you still need a plan B.

Namechangeapril20 · 30/04/2020 15:18

Your attitude is appalling. You are behaving unbelievably entitled and being downright rude to anyone giving you advice. You are completely entitled to make your own choice regarding childcare, but you're not free from the consequences of YOUR CHOICE. Everyone would love to be at home with their kids AND get paid, with someone else footing the bill. The other people in your work who get it are eligible for it, you are not, you need to get it into your head that your circumstances are not the same - protecting vulnerable people and saving money for childcare are different things. Suck it up butter cup.

teqcar · 30/04/2020 15:20

Neither of us can afford to not get the money we are used to

Well fuck me if half the country isn't in the same bastarding boat.

BackseatCookers · 30/04/2020 15:21

You are not automatically eligible for it based on the information you've given.

You're just wilfully ignoring people explaining why over and over again.

HTH.

Oh and also you didn't ask if people would be 'a bit annoyed' in your original post, you said 'furious'. Bit different.

Original poster
Mammatomyboy16 · 30/04/2020 15:39

@teqcar I understand everyone's loosing money and everything in the situation we are in and I'm not doubting that or saying me and my family are the only ones struggling

OP posts:
AStarSoBright · 30/04/2020 15:44

@Mammatomyboy16 unfortunately, as you've been advised several times, the criteria for furlough is quite specific. You can be considered for furlough due to lack of childcare but, as a keyworker, you are entitled to use a childminder/nursery or other setting. The fact you don't want to or can't afford to is irrelevant. Keyworkers have this provision to keep the country running. Imagine if a nurse or doctor was saying the same as you.

teqcar · 30/04/2020 15:52

I understand everyone's loosing money and everything in the situation we are in and I'm not doubting that or saying me and my family are the only ones struggling

No but you have a serious lack of understanding regarding who is responsible for helping you fix it. For the avoidance of any doubt, it's you.

Schuyler · 30/04/2020 16:14

Firstly, I have no issue with grandparents providing childcare, although I think it’s important to have a back up plan and unfortunately, you’ve learned the hard way. Secondly, you are not eligible for furlough. You’ve had some good advice from people like flowery and comefromaway. Your personal situation means your company cannot furlough you without committing fraud. Other people may be eligible but they are not in the same scenario as you. You need to get less angry and aggressive and understand what people are telling you. Filter out all the arguments over grandparent childcare and finances. If you’re angry you’re not allowed furlough, hear what you’re being told; you are ineligible!

espressoontap · 30/04/2020 16:14

You sound self-entitled and grabby. Your poor dad.

Concerned7777 · 30/04/2020 16:26

@Mammatomyboy16 have you double checked you aren't entitled to any help for Childcare?
As is stands now when you aren't claiming any child care costs you may not be entitled to anything but depending on earnings once child care is added to the equation you are sometimes eligible for some help towards it's worth finding out.
However if your shifts are evenings or weekends then childminder or nursery wouldn't be any help to you during them times. Also you'd be incredibly lucky to get part time child care for your specific hours most providers do a morning/afternoon/all day option so for example if your hours were 10-2 you would be required to pay child care for the full day. Also many establishments ask for a months fee upfront so I get why using them doesn't suit you.
Best you can both do Is to ask your managers to arrange your shifts around each other where possible

DeRigueurMortis · 30/04/2020 17:23

Golly OP you're really enjoying digging that hole for yourself....every additional post you're arming yourself with a bigger shovel.

Hmm

I don't know how many times posters can keep explaining that you are not eligible for furlough.

Not being willing to work because you don't want to use childcare that is available to you as a key worker (either because you prefer not to use a nursery/childminder or because you don't want to pay for it) is not the same as being unable to work.

Unlike many other families in the present situation, you and your DH have choices and jobs.

Many of those furloughed are likely to have no jobs to go back to after taking a 20% pay cut.

It's a tough time for everyone but your lack of self awareness of how lucky you are to have jobs/options/choices is really quite irritating and somewhat repugnant.

stakeholderwizz · 30/04/2020 21:14

You do sound incredibly self entitled and granny and your attitude towards nurseries is appalling, good for you it's you privileged position not to HAVE to send your child but lots of others do and I certainly hope your child will "know and trust" the staff he will be with when he starts school because you certainly won't be able to choose them.

mathanxiety · 30/04/2020 21:24

At last a sensible post based on reality, from @Concerned7777

However if your shifts are evenings or weekends then childminder or nursery wouldn't be any help to you during them times. Also you'd be incredibly lucky to get part time child care for your specific hours most providers do a morning/afternoon/all day option so for example if your hours were 10-2 you would be required to pay child care for the full day. Also many establishments ask for a months fee upfront so I get why using them doesn't suit you.

I get the impression that many people here have never experienced the sharp end of managerial practice. Or tried to find childcare in a pandemic when childcare is rare as hens' teeth. Or tried to pay for full time care from a part time wage. Or tried to run a childcare business and actually make some money on it.

Original poster
Mammatomyboy16 · 30/04/2020 21:27

@stakeholderwizz my attitude towards nurseries is appalling? Because I don't want to send my son to one yet. He's a baby and I'd rather him be looked after by someone he and I feel comfortable with? What's the big problem that I don't send him to or want him to go to one yet? 😂

That's MY decision for MY son. Not anyone else's and tbh I don't give a fuck what anyone's got to say about my son going or not going to nursery. If you chose or had to send you're child to nursery that's great. Good for you, but not everybody wants to and just because people don't they shouldn't be getting attacked for it.

And my attitude isn't appalling, I used to work in a nursery and many people I know do. I have nothing against them just MY personal preference to not send him to one yet.

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 30/04/2020 21:31

And many of us have. Worked shifts, earned minimum wage, had zero family support, paid extortionate childcare. Shit, my very young MIL, who did lots of care for her GC died when DD was 8 months old.

I actually think people who have had to struggle and make do have a little less sympathy because having had to suck it up, they probably don't want to pay to have other people sit on their arses. The furlough money is emergency money. There will be an almighty bill at the end of this.

rawlikesushi · 30/04/2020 21:34

What do you think you will do op? There are no good options really are there, but what's the least-worst?

BackseatCookers · 30/04/2020 21:35

What's the big problem that I don't send him to or want him to go to one yet?

Nobody cares if you send your son to nursery or not! They care you seem to think that because you don't want to, someone else should cover your wages so you don't have to!

You cannot be so hard of thinking that you're still pretending people are arguing about whether or not your son goes to family / friends / nursery when you are working.

Nobody cares!

It's the fact you seem to think that the fact you don't want to pay for his childcare means you can refuse to do so while also expecting to be paid.

Work full time or part time and use the wages to pay towards childcare.

Don't work and you have no need to pay towards childcare.

You are a key worker so both work and childcare are available to you. How you use them is your choice.

BackseatCookers · 30/04/2020 21:36

And it's not your attitude towards nurseries that's appealing, it's your attitude in general.

Original poster
Mammatomyboy16 · 30/04/2020 21:37

@MrsTerryPratchett and you don't think I've struggled with certain things in my life and others haven't? I'm not bitter about it though.

Just because certain people haven't had it easy or have struggled to pay for childcare and at the minute I don't pay for it and have someone look after him. Doesn't mean they can be bitter and twisted about it and give a stranger a shit load of abuse for it.

You can't start getting annoyed at people for having something you didn't.

And tbh, I'm not sitting on my arse. I've got a son to look after.

And anyway. I may be getting paid for the time I have had off up to date but I'm timebanking so I'm working it all back.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mammatomyboy16 · 30/04/2020 21:39

My goodness me. I KNOW I can't be furloughed. Like I've said I don't think it's fair for a company to furlough certain people and not others when a lot of people are struggling.

That's my opinion. I'm not saying I AM ENTITLED TO BE FURLOUGHED.

OP posts:
rawlikesushi · 30/04/2020 21:42

"Just because certain people haven't had it easy or have struggled to pay for childcare and at the minute I don't pay for it and have someone look after him. Doesn't mean they can be bitter and twisted about it and give a stranger a shit load of abuse for it."

I think it's lovely that your son is cared for by his grandad, and great that you get free childcare.

But I'm worried about what you'll do now it isn't an option. Have you reached any decisions?

Original poster
Mammatomyboy16 · 30/04/2020 21:44

@rawlikesushi yes. I'm moving my hours into the weekend.

OP posts:
BackseatCookers · 30/04/2020 21:44

You can't start getting annoyed at people for having something you didn't.

And yet...

I am furious with my work.
They have furloughed other people which I understand as they live with someone who's vulnerable. But because I don't live with my dad I won't be furloughed.

I'm starting to think this must be a wind up 😂

Original poster
Mammatomyboy16 · 30/04/2020 21:46

@BackseatCookers but I'm not annoyed at the person who is getting furloughed 😕

I'm annoyed at the company. You're all annoyed at me because you all pay/paid for childcare and I don't

OP posts:
Namechangeapril20 · 30/04/2020 21:47

I have nothing against them just MY personal preference to not send him to one yet.

Fair enough, then stay home. You cant expect to be paid for your personal preference though.

I don't think it's fair for a company to furlough certain people and not others

Except that it is when some meet eligibility and others don't? Or should nobody get it because you can't?

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