Being a TA

[Peppapug71]

Hi, please can anyone give me some advice?

I've been a SAHM for a while. More recently I retrained and got a job as a 1:1 TA. I thought I'd enjoy it but I don't. My job is a fixed term contract until July 2020. The child I support is extremely challenging.

My worry is schools reopening before the end of the summer term and then I get C-19. I work in a class of 31, social distancing isn't possible.

I also have 2 dcs. I am for the most part a lone parent as dh works away in the week. It's not commutable. If I became ill, I don't know what we'd do. I also look after my dad. He's very vulnerable as he is severely disabled, he has heart failure and is just recovering from pneumonia. I shop for him, clean for him etc he can't do these things for himself.

I'm tempted to resign now. DH says to resign if I want to. We can manage without my wages. Am I being over dramatic?

Realistically I very much doubt schools will be back before September. Why don’t you hold fire and see what happens. Are you part of a rota going into school for key worker kids and vulnerable kids?

Regardless of covid and the other issues you mention, I think you should resign. Your heart is not in it and any child you are supporting deserves to have a TA who is passionate about their job and actually enjoys it!

I got to "I am for the most part a lone parent as dh works away in the week" and gave up.

You're nowhere near a lp. A lp has ALL of the responsibility for their dc ALL of the time. That's physically/ mentally/ financially...you get my point
As a lp I know that I'm on my own 100% of the time.

Please don't refer to yourself as practically a lone parent. It's really fucking annoying to actual lone parents.

Are you not on a rota to go in and supervise key worker children? You will be putting yourself at risk then too, it's worth talking to your school about how you feel for more support. They may also have training you can do from home to support your "challenging" child.

I completely agree with other posters - you dont sound like your heart is in it and the children deserve someone who cares.

I also agree that you ARE NOT a lone parent and it is awful to describe yourself as one, not just for actual lone parents but also for your DH!

I'm a TA (actually HLTA) too OP, but unlike you I love my job! I don't work 1-1 though, I support students in class and run small intervention groups, mainly for SEN students. It's a high school too.
I think you should quit if going back worries you. I find my job very rewarding but if your heart's not in it, you won't be giving your all to your 'extremely challenging' child. And actually without 'extremely challenging' children, a lot of us TAs wouldn't have a job! Making progress with my students is the best feeling in the world.

I'm in with the other TA staff and teachers on a rota basis until we reopen, which I hope is after May half term, but think it is probably going to be September.

Resign if you want to, but if everyone who is worried about covid19 refused to work we would as a nation be quite screwed. There is a high chance you will get infected some other way anyway.

I'm a TA, I got my job 9 years ago doing 1:1 and it was very tough. Your heart may not be in it with this child but if you are being positive, warm and professional in your care for them don't feel bad. I found my colleagues knew how tough it was and so I knew it wasn't just me that would have struggled.

I stuck with it because I liked the school so much and things changed, new opportunities, new training and lots more variety followed. Well worth it for me.

Thank you for your replies.

I apologise for the lone parent remark. Having re read my post I can see that it was unfair to say that. I'm sorry.

In my defence, I have given my all to the child I support. I worry about him and I want the best for him. I too am the parent of a child with SEN so I understand how important it is to support children with SEN well. I am a kind person and I do my absolute best in my job. Perhaps I just can't do it,

I'm not refusing to work. I'm just worried about my very vulnerable dad. That's all.

I understand your concerns OP, I really do. There is nothing wrong with not wanting to do the job, and it is the most natural thing in the world to worry about your vulnerable dad, of course you do. Do what's best for you, and don't beat yourself up about your decision.