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Is anyone else really, really struggling without a garden :(

118 replies

Radn · 11/04/2020 14:43

I just can't bear to be indoors when the weather's so lovely, and every time someone tells me about their lovely barbecue or sitting out sunbathing it makes me want to cry. I'm really struggling. I'm just sitting indoors feeling hot and upset. I can't wait for this to be over.

OP posts:
catsjammies · 11/04/2020 21:25

palace yes, being locked up 24/7 with kids is crap. But it is PARTICULARLY crap when they can not fully play and exercise. When they have no space to properly run. Our building has a courtyard but many other residents ignore the no smoking rules so my little one is constantly picking up cigarette butts. It's paved so they can't run around barefoot. I am very very lucky in that our flat is large and my 15 month old loves climbing up and down (and up and down and up and down) our stairs to burn off some energy, but I'm having to do a lot of work with both of them to make sure their gross motor isn't effected. A garden is also an incredible sensory play opportunity. My kids still want to play with water so I have to push the dining table out of the way and hope to heck they don't upend a bucket of water on the rug in the living room 😑

LilacTree1 · 11/04/2020 21:25

Diana, I don’t have it, but I know a few people who do. It’s been put out of use because if a couple of residents put chairs on that little bit of yard, they wouldn’t be two metres apart.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 11/04/2020 21:30

I'm in a flat with DS. We're above a shop, not in a block so absolutely no outdoor communal space at all.

We have an open field opposite us, it's the side bit of the local park. We have been going over there to exercise, play football and (gasp) sit in the sun for a little bit. Usually we are the only ones on there, there is the occasional dog walker. We've never been told to move on or that we shouldn't be sitting down.

ifowaa · 11/04/2020 22:02

@catsjammies can you pop the kids in
The bath (if you have a bath) when they want to play with water?

Hopefulmidwife · 11/04/2020 23:22

@DianaT1969 I'm in a flat, there are 8 here. We are in an old house that now has a dentist surgery below, pretty much town centre. No outdoor space whatsoever. I've come off SM too as I was sick of seeing 'isolation isn't so bad' with pictures of them drinking, BBQ and hot tub. Good for you, now bugger off 😂😂

Whichroomtovisit · 11/04/2020 23:36

Do you own a parking space OP? In my old flat, I did occasionally sit in our space on a fold up chair while (then, toddler) child would run around the car park area. I’m sure that wouldn’t be breaking lockdown rules as it is your property, as long as it’s not too close to the entrance where others could be? Apologies if this wouldn’t work for you, I really feel for you.Flowers

boomshakalika · 11/04/2020 23:40

It is grim. Top floor and shared ) communal garden but the downstairs neighbours have totally commandeered it. It should be large enough but they are inviting friends and family over.

We tried going down the other day but their kids would not stop coming to us ( and I know they have all been visiting other friends and relatives ). Also the adults idea of 2 mtrs doesn't match the metric reality

I suggested to neighbours it would be great if we could sort out times for each family. Firmly told no as they would mad without full use all day.

I am working full time at home in a newly promoted role - seconded into national emergency planning and on call 6am - 11pm each day with constant calls, conference meetings. I have managed 1 meal a day for past 7 days . Partner is a nurse on a covid ward doing night shifts so stressed out and knackered. He comes home in the morning and after our decontamination process, he is too traumatised to be much chat and fun. It's hard to keep the 2 kids occupied and silent whilst he sleeps and I work.

My kids are having a truly shit time. No happy bonding or building bean pole reading tepees or camping out under starlight. It is horrible for us right now.

Any break from work I am sobbing in the bathroom.

I honestly don't know how we will make it through this.

CompassNorth · 11/04/2020 23:50

Yes, am really struggling. Two young kids (5 and 2) in a small flat in a high rise block. Small living space which includes the kitchen.

My 5yo is autistic and my 2 yo is showing some sensory seeking behaviours too, so it's a real struggle. We set up a mini trampoline each morning on the kitchen floor then pack it away again.

I'm now taking them out twice a day (since the government issued guidance saying autistic people can exercise more than once a day) but feeling worried in case anyone challenges us on why we're out again, I don't want to explain in front of DS that he's autistic.

Tbh I've been really struggling with feelings of anger about not having more space and a garden. And quite frightened about this going on for much longer. I'm sorry OP and others on this thread that you're also struggling but it does also help to know others are in this boat.

peppergin · 11/04/2020 23:50

We're in a flat with no garden or balcony, with toddler DD. We go for a long walk every morning, which really helps. Lots of parks and open spaces within walking distance, I've actually enjoyed exploring different places that we've never been to before, like small garden squares and churchyards. DD probably spends more time outdoors than she would have pre-lockdown (we used to do lots of indoor activities like stay and play, and music/swimming classes).

Today we went to a big local park which was policed by volunteers with megaphones. I found the atmosphere really oppressive, although there was no criticism directed at us. They sealed off all the benches and were telling off people who were doing exercises on the grass (burpees and pushups). We were moving most of the time, but DD wanted to stop and look at the ducks/squirrels (like we would on a normal walk) and I was worried I'd be told off for doing that.There are smaller parks near us which are barely policed at all, yet everyone manages to stay socially distanced and use the space sensibly (including sitting for a rest after exercise, and a snack). I find these smaller places a much more pleasant place to be. I think churchyards are particularly good because they tend to be looked after by the church, so the council has a bit less input into how the rules are interpreted.

I do sit down with DD sometimes when we go out, but mainly because she likes climbing on benches and walls and sitting down, and sometimes to sit down and let her have a snack. I've not had any problems with doing that, but it's been in quieter green spaces, where there isn't any policing (most of the time it's practically deserted).

DD loves water play but I just let her have a long bathtime and play in there, rather than risk getting water everywhere.

CompassNorth · 11/04/2020 23:55

@boomshalika that is a really really tough scenario. Can your partner knock on the neighbours door one morning after a night shift, stand well back and say he can't get too close as he's been helping covid patients, but he needs the neighbours to help him out by agreeing a time your kids can use the garden alone? Get him to say he just can't bear to take any risks being in garden at same time as others due to seeing the effects of covid on the ward.

If they still say no, I would consider calling your local MP for help.

LilacTree1 · 11/04/2020 23:57

My dream was leave London and have a small house, big garden. After this, those properties will sky rocket in price, even in rough areas.

Celandines · 12/04/2020 01:12

CompassNorth Could you write it down so you can show it if you are asked rather than say it?

Dongdingdong · 12/04/2020 03:51

The weather is meant to cool down considerably on Monday - it’s something at least.

Orangeblossom78 · 12/04/2020 09:58

In a top floor flat here, 2 DSs, older boys, not easy is it. We also have a communal garden and the police were called to it last week! Think it was thought to be a public space as we are in the city centre.

Anyway we now have a sign to use as a single family group or two residents spaced out, on the door.

I went to the park yesterday myself for a walk and it was quiet and orderly, families on bikes mainly and people walking, I saw a dad in a wheelchair on the small road going along with a little girl on a scooter going along beside him which was sweet.

My DH took the boys on a bike ride on the cycle track which seemed to go well yesterday. He said it was busy though.

Orangeblossom78 · 12/04/2020 10:00

Boom who is in charge of communal garden, that isn't fair if they are taking it over.

LilacTree1 · 12/04/2020 12:08

Dong, yes that’s good, especially for those in boiling hospitals and wearing PPE.

BBCONEANDTWO · 12/04/2020 12:11

This is what pisses me off about this lockdown - the haves and the have nots. I don't know how they could do it but could we not have it so that people who have a garden exercise in their garden and the people who don't can go out a couple of times a day.

I'm lucky to have a small postage stamp of a garden but I can get out in it and get fresh air. It is so shit for a lot of people and if Covid doesn't kill us mental health problems bloody will.

LilacTree1 · 12/04/2020 12:13

If the police can waste time the way they are, we can certainly have a rule about gardens. Give them your address and they’ll check. I realise it would be spot checks but it would help.

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