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Original poster

AIBU to break lockdown rules

74 replies

CleverQuacks · 09/04/2020 15:02

I am posting here because I know you guys will be honest with me, even if it’s hard to hear lol.

I am a single mum to three children and 18 weeks pregnant. Since social distancing and lockdown was announced I have taken it very seriously. In the last three weeks I have only left the house twice. Both to get food.

However on my last trip out (1 week ago) I fainted whilst in the coop. This was very traumatic because my 5 year old with SEN was with me and became very distressed. An ambulance was called and I went to a and e. They did a lot of tests but decided it was related to the pregnancy and that basically whilst standing up my blood pressure is dropping and this is causing me to faint.

Since then I have been having regular lightheaded spells where I have had to lie down quick so that I don’t faint. For example today I was making sandwiches for my children’s lunch and had to lie down three times so lunch (just sandwiches) took nearly an hour to make. This is also really worrying my children.

I have spoken to my midwife who says it’s “normal” but it’s so incapacitating. I can’t do anything that involves standing for any period of time.

My parents (live 15 minutes away) have offered for me and the children to go and stay with them so they can help me but obviously this is against the lock down rules.

So my AIBU is should I go? (Obviously whilst there I wouldn’t be going out at all) or do I need to stick to the lockdown??

OP posts:
Fenellapitstop · 09/04/2020 15:05

In your circumstances it makes sense to merge households. Hope you start feeling better soon

GaaaaarlicBread · 09/04/2020 15:06

This is difficult as I know how you feel. How old are your parents, do they have any health issues, do your children have any symptoms etc ? I think I’m this instance I’d say go and make sure you don’t go out whilst you’re there, and take it easy, but usually I’m very much ‘stick to the rules’ and get pissed off when I see people asking silly questions but in this case I think I would move. My in laws have offered for me to move in with them as my DH is working frontline with covid patients and they’re worried about me being exposed , I have said no but if I was poorly like you and fainting I would probably move . It’s only temporary . I have fainting spells too, I recommend drinking double your usual amount and have some salt . It’s helped me x

SE13Mummy · 09/04/2020 15:06

If the plan would be for you and your children to remain with your parents for the duration of the lockdown, do it. You need the care from them and so do your children if you're unwell.

lubeybooby · 09/04/2020 15:06

That is actually a tough one. I clicked fully prepared to YABU all over it but...

Could just one of your parents come and stay with you instead? Then they would be classed as going out to care for someone else.

GaaaaarlicBread · 09/04/2020 15:06

Sorry I rambled there ! Yes I would do it, it’s for the best xx

emmathedilemma · 09/04/2020 15:07

You probably shouldn't, but on the other hand I'd say it's not particularly safe to be the only adult in a house with 3 children who keeps passing out, so i'd probably move in with them.

MrsWhites · 09/04/2020 15:07

I think in this situation it is essential for you to move in with your parents for yours and your children’s safety.

But I really think you need to speak with a midwife again, certainly faintness can be a symptom of pregnancy, I suffered with it myself. But having to lie down 3 times whilst just making sandwiches does not sound normal at all!

dementedpixie · 09/04/2020 15:09

If you're going there to stay then yes I'd do it. Safer for you and the kids

PumpkinP · 09/04/2020 15:09

I wouldn’t hesitate

Soubriquet · 09/04/2020 15:09

Yes I would

If you fainted whilst at home, your children would be upset and there would be no one to help you or them

In this case, it makes sense

zippyswife · 09/04/2020 15:09

Go and stay with your parents.

Enough4me · 09/04/2020 15:10

Move in together and stay together. The rules aren't designed to stop people helping each other, they are designed to stop uneccessary mixing between households.

hammeringinmyhead · 09/04/2020 15:11

You probably shouldn't, but on the other hand I'd say it's not particularly safe to be the only adult in a house with 3 children who keeps passing out, so i'd probably move in with them.

This. In my mind this is essential care for someone vulnerable (the children) as there is a risk of them being left unattended during, for example, a fire if you faint while cooking.

niknac1 · 09/04/2020 15:11

I felt faint throughout my second pregnancy, I sat down throughout most of it, I sat down at the table to prepare our food etc. I didn’t have the option of going somewhere to be helped. If I had I think I would have seriously considered it. You should try to think through if you think you can manage, if not move out.

implantsandaDyson · 09/04/2020 15:12

Yes I'd be there in a heartbeat. You've three children and you're unwell and 18 weeks pregnant. You need help, your children need support and your parents have offered. You're not taking the piss.

PurpleDaisies · 09/04/2020 15:13

Moving in together and merging your households for the long term is fine.

dappledsunshine · 09/04/2020 15:13

100% I would go in your situation op Thanks

niknac1 · 09/04/2020 15:14

I’ve re read your post please move in with your parents

Yallreadyforthis · 09/04/2020 15:15

Jesus, go.

And don't feel bad about it.

Original poster
CleverQuacks · 09/04/2020 15:15

Thank you for all your replies! I am so relieved. I was expecting you all to say suck it up and get on with it.

OP posts:
Queenofheartsnomore · 09/04/2020 15:16

Absolutely go and stay with your parents. Much better for you and your children. As long as none of you have symptoms I think it's fine.

Ginfordinner · 09/04/2020 15:16

Where is the father of your unborn baby?

Choice4567 · 09/04/2020 15:18

I was also expecting to say YABU but I think it would count as care for vulnerable both for the children and yourself. It’s too risky to be living by yourself. If you can remain with your parents for the rest of the lockdown then yes I’d say do it.

AmputatedSoul · 09/04/2020 15:18

100% go.

What if you faint at home? Who will know and who will look after your kids?

We need at all stay safe, if that means going to live with somebody else so we can be safe then so be it.

Hope you feel better soon Thanks

ThankyouKindlyForYourTimeSir · 09/04/2020 15:19

I think it is very straight forward that you should move in with them. Takes two seconds to decide that. Think about the risks and the lesser of two evils. A single parent with 3 young children and a baby on the way is far more at risk that moving in. Move in with them. The lockdown rules are flexible when it comes to staying safe and providing care for others.