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Original poster

AIBU to break lockdown rules

74 replies

CleverQuacks · 09/04/2020 15:02

I am posting here because I know you guys will be honest with me, even if it’s hard to hear lol.

I am a single mum to three children and 18 weeks pregnant. Since social distancing and lockdown was announced I have taken it very seriously. In the last three weeks I have only left the house twice. Both to get food.

However on my last trip out (1 week ago) I fainted whilst in the coop. This was very traumatic because my 5 year old with SEN was with me and became very distressed. An ambulance was called and I went to a and e. They did a lot of tests but decided it was related to the pregnancy and that basically whilst standing up my blood pressure is dropping and this is causing me to faint.

Since then I have been having regular lightheaded spells where I have had to lie down quick so that I don’t faint. For example today I was making sandwiches for my children’s lunch and had to lie down three times so lunch (just sandwiches) took nearly an hour to make. This is also really worrying my children.

I have spoken to my midwife who says it’s “normal” but it’s so incapacitating. I can’t do anything that involves standing for any period of time.

My parents (live 15 minutes away) have offered for me and the children to go and stay with them so they can help me but obviously this is against the lock down rules.

So my AIBU is should I go? (Obviously whilst there I wouldn’t be going out at all) or do I need to stick to the lockdown??

OP posts:
mooching · 09/04/2020 15:21

I would. If you faint and injure yourself you will again be using up hospital staff time and then your DC's will need to cared for presumably by your parents anyway.

You are the first person who has a valid reason I think (medical).

P1nkHeartLovesCake · 09/04/2020 15:24

If you are a single mum and can’t care for you dc properly due to issues with your current pregnancy then what else can you do?

I take it the father moving back in for now isn’t an option? At 18 weeks you can’t of been separated long so just wondered if that would be an option, I mean assuming the dc all have the same dad- he could do some sodding parenting and help look after them.

As it’s only a 15 minute journey and you need help caring for the dc, YANBU. If it was a 100 mile journey then you would be unreasonable.

IF you go ahead and move in, you will need to stay until after lockdown though

Emeeno1 · 09/04/2020 15:24

Please go to your parents. My daughter is a single mum and just told me she has just moved her food supplies in to a bottom cupboard in case she gets ill and my grandchild needs access to food. It's really hard to hear.I would have them here in a jiffy.

TheHumansAreDefinitelyDead · 09/04/2020 15:28

I fainted a fair bit in pregnancy (low blood pressure), and moving enough, drinking enough and having something savoury/salty all help.

Before going out: have nice salty mug of soup/stock

MindyStClaire · 09/04/2020 15:30

I don't think this would even count as breaking the lockdown. You're vulnerable and need care.

JudyCoolibar · 09/04/2020 15:32

I don't think this breaks the rules. They refer to doing things without "reasonable excuse" and you obviously have a very reasonable excuse.

Matildathehun77 · 09/04/2020 15:33

Yes if you're merging the two households until lockdown lifts and if everybody is sticking to lockdown rules then I think that this is a much safer solution for you and your children. Good luck!

Pinkblueberry · 09/04/2020 15:33

I don’t think ‘merging’ households is really against the rules - we’re just advised to not flit from one household to another. I know a few people who have moved in parent or similar to support them or to not be completely alone. I think that’s perfectly reasonable.

Danceswithwarthogs · 09/04/2020 15:34

Implants and a dyson love your name... was that a royle family Christmas special?

Danceswithwarthogs · 09/04/2020 15:35

But definitely go, on the balance of risk, this is the less risky thing to do

Kazzyhoward · 09/04/2020 15:35

Are your parents vulnerable and part of the shielding group? If so, you definitely shouldn't go there as you could be giving them Covid as you may have picked it up when out shopping or in A&E. If you and your household have self isolated (not gone out, no interactions with people etc) for the last 7 days and none of you are showing symptoms, then ok to go to your parents as long as they're not shielding. You need to do whatever you can to protect them and only go there if absolutely essential. You'll never forgive yourself if you cause them to catch it.

BeansOnToast4T · 09/04/2020 15:38

Common sense would dictate that the safest option in your circumstances is to merge households and move in with your parents.

inuinnit · 09/04/2020 15:40

Move in. It's not even against the rules.

Pinkbunny2811 · 09/04/2020 15:45

I think you should go. Also, do you feel like your heart is racing when you stand?

You definitely need to be drinking, as much as you possibly can. I would call maternity assessment unit at your local hospital, you need to be properly assessed. It's likely normal pregnancy stuff but it's hitting you harder than normal so you may need treatment. What happens if you needed to be admitted? Would your children go to your parents? You might as well be there all the time with your children.

Cantata · 09/04/2020 15:46

I would do it like a shot, OP.

AdoraBell · 09/04/2020 15:47

In your situation I think you will be doing the right thing. Obviously not if anyone has symptoms or parents are in a vulnerable group.

Lynda07 · 09/04/2020 15:47

Go to your mum and dad's, I presume they are not infected, neither are you so what's the problem?

AudTheDeepMinded · 09/04/2020 15:48

I fainted a lot with one pregnancy. Remember to keep hydrated, up your salt intake, and see of you can get some pressure stockings as they can help with the blood pressure). And absolutely I would go to your parents. The risk of you fainting and injuring yourself, or something happening to the kids whilst you are 'out' is the greater at the moment! I basically lived with others (DH worked away) for the last 5 months of my pregnancy, gave up driving, and showered instead of bathed. Good luck.

AmelieTaylor · 09/04/2020 15:50

If it's your best/only option then do that. For me it would largely depend on your parents age/health. I'd rather have a friend move in than risk parents health. But if they're healthy & on the young side then it might be ok.

No issue at all re the 'rules' though. Care & safety are 'permitted' x

Take care 🌷

LittleBoyJuly2020 · 09/04/2020 15:51

Yes, go asap x

Seriouslyconfused3 · 09/04/2020 15:52

Get your ferritin checked if you can op. I was similar in my pregnancy and ended up needing an iron infusion ASAP!

LolaSmiles · 09/04/2020 15:52

Either move in and blend households long term for the duration of the current lockdown, or live where you are and have a parent come to visit on the grounds of caring for someone vulnerable.

The only way this would be unreasonable is if you and DC are doing lots of back and fourth.

ScatteredMama82 · 09/04/2020 15:54

You should definitely go. What if you faint and bump your head or something? Don't feel bad about going, just do it. It's best for you, baby and your kids.

PanicOnTheStreets85 · 09/04/2020 15:55

I've read the Regulations and I don't think you would be breaching them, as long as you are going to stay with your parents for the duration. It's clearly necessary in your case in any event.

implantsandaDyson · 09/04/2020 15:55

Danceswithwarthogs it is indeed Grin

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