The ‘essential’ police - please stop

[TheDogIsKeepingMeSane]

Until we are issued what is deemed an essential shopping item ANY food/drink item is ok to buy.
I’ve been working today outside. It’s hot.
On my way home I stopped at my local independent shop & bought myself 2 bottles of cold beer.
I live alone & work alone & it felt great to chat with the shop owner (2m apart) .
When I left the shop a cyclist said me ‘ hardly an essential item is it’

Just stop it .
I’m ashamed of what my fellow human beings have become.

The beer is cold & I shouldn’t be made to feel ashamed for buying it

I'm stunned, and not in good way, by all the folk who are suddenly experts on guidelines

I’m pretty sure the guidelines are only talking about going out.... “popping out” to the shops, meet friends, play in the park, have a bbq on a farmers field is fine.

@Biancadelrioisback you are totally right!

This pandemic has shown that some people are capable of being complete arses, regardless of whether they flout the rules or rigidly adhere to them.

Yes agree. Certainly weeds out the people who have no common sense, and that includes the people who think it's their place to rant at member of the public who aren't doing anything wrong. My pictute eatlier proved that point. Why stop and talk to someone if you think they are breaking the rules, surely by starting a conversation with a stranger you are flouting the rules yourself.

I think a lot if people expect these shops to suddenly open again for business in months time and because people aren't buying, there will be less impact on the environment. Yes to some degree, but there is stuff sitting in warehouses which will probably end up ditched, and and many clothing retailers will probably go bust regardless of any government intervention. I saw an article about plant nurseries throwing out tons of plants and going bust, yet everyone will just expect to be able to go and buy plants for their garden next year.....they won't be around anymore!!

My rule is, if I am getting essential items, I will also buy a non essential item with it if I feel I need to and there is nobody around. I don't browse, I will always know what I am looking for. I think that's safer than trying to intiate social contact by ranting at a stranger.

I'm doing my first shop since lockdown on Tuesday as that's when our isolation is over. I'm really looking forward to it. I have a list of essential items but I'm also hoping I can get some treats while I'm out. Probably a couple of Easter and I've fancied a hot cross bun for a week and a half. I personally wouldn't have gone to a shop just for beer but I wouldn't judge someone who did. I don't know how often you shop or why you wanted it. I'll be in at least 2 shops on Tuesday. I need to travel to a further away supermarket because they stock formula for DS and if they don't have it I'll need to try another in another town. I've also placed an order for collection from the butcher. It's not for me to judge how other people shop. We all just have to do the best we can.

Infact I have worked out my retort now if I am ever in the same position as you OP:

"What? Are you wanting me to come closer and have a conversation with you about my shopping? That's not social distancing and I think you need to remind yourself of the guidelines you prick"

Derbygerbil

I’m pretty sure the guidelines are only talking about going out.... “popping out” to the shops, meet friends, play in the park, have a bbq on a farmers field is fine.

We're talking about 'essentials', but: if I want a bbq in the field attached to my home with my household (we have the landowners permission), that's ok. You might not know that I'm allowed to be there and we're all in the same household, but you aren't owed an explanation for anyone else's behaviour

Popping out to the shops is a perfectly normal turn of phrase around here - we don't differentiate with big, weekly or small shops as some MN apparently folk do - if someone's popping out to the supermarket around here you can't assume it's not essential. Once again, you aren't owed an explanation of other people's behaviour.

Playing in the park (not on equipment, as per the stated guidelines) - absolutely fine as long as you're observing social distancing, not everyone has a garden or outdoor space they can access privately, or a home that's safe to remain in all day. Still not owed an explanation for other people's behaviour.

Meeting people - not ok, but the guidelines say stick to your household. But do you know, just from looking, who is meeting because they're a carer or have other responsibilities? Something about not being owed explanations.

That's the whole problem: people don't know each other that well (if at all), so they make assumptions and judge them on that basis, not fact. Some people aren't sticking to the guidance, but it still doesn't mean that you have a right to an explanation from anyone else, or the right to judge them in its absence.

Strange you’ve changed your tune now after attacking me for adding one ‘non essential’ item to my basket i.e hot cross buns. I had to request that thread be removed due to the level of abuse

Liar

Flaxmeadow

I remember that thread and posted on it, and she's not lying. It may not be how you perceived events, but it was definitely how I saw it, as well.

Not one single person on that thread said anything about people cannot buy hot cross buns, or any other food item, in a general weekly type shopping expedition

The hot cross bun preoccupation was a week ago. For the love of God. Let it go

Plenty of people, on that thread berated the OP for daring to buy hot cross buns.

Some people were outraged she had dared buy a non essential and kept insisting that police were checking shopping bags to catch people like OP.

The same people were kicking off that someone might buy hair dye/mascara/easter eggs as part of their bigger shop.

Some of those same posters have said it to me personally since.

The hot cross bun preoccupation was a week ago. For the love of God. Let it go

They are gone. They were eaten.

Do you expect to say it didnt happen and have no one respond?

I saw that thread and there absolutely were posters berating the OP for buying hot cross buns. Scolding her, saying that stopping to pick up non essential items was slowing down the flow of people through the supermarket.

I agree OP, if places are open and selling items, you can buy them. Essential is different to different people.

Not sure I agree with Pets at home and Boots policing what people buy. And as ever it will be a decree from the (virtual) HQ ivory tower and the people in the shops have to police it and deal with the flak from angry customers whereas the HQ staff sit behind the safety of their laptops.

Popping out to the shops is a perfectly normal turn of phrase around here - we don't differentiate with big, weekly or small shops as some MN apparently folk do - if someone's popping out to the supermarket around here you can't assume it's not essential. Once again, you aren't owed an explanation of other people's behaviour
When people are quite openly saying they are going to the corner shop daily for cigarettes, going to the shop because they want some chocolate and a magazine because they 'need it', that they're going to the shop because they want some beer after work and so on, it's fairly safe to say they're not doing their main food shop.
Other people are saying they prefer to shop every 2-3 days and will continue to do so because it's not against the law.
Others have claimed you can't get bread that lasts more than 2-3 days.

Yes, there's some people on here who are misery guts and I've seen one poster argue nobody should add anything nice to their food shop because it's an extra 10 seconds in the shop, however most people on here challenging selfish behaviour are absolutely spot on for doing so because to slow the speed of the virus we ALL have to adapt and compromise.

When I shop I don't want to be placed at higher risk because there's a dozen people there who are nipping out for treats every few days.

Hope it was a big mug @drinkingwineoutofamug? It’s hard to listen to people moaning about trivia and coming out with crap like
Right now shops are your greatest chance to contact people who can give you the virus when you’re working on a Covid ward

I’m finding all this Stay at home stuff hard, I’d love to fucking stay at home instead of working all hours.

Am on an actual day off today though am just about to get my work lap top out to draw up plans for redeploying non-ward staff to the wards and organising End of Life training for them.

I went to Waitrose this morning and bought Easter eggs and Hot Cross buns, I don’t care if any fucker judged me, they wouldn’t have a clue what I’ve been doing all week.

I saw that thread and there absolutely were posters berating the OP for buying hot cross buns

People were saying, and are still saying, that it is not OK to only "pop into a shop" for one or two nonessential items just because they fancied their favourite 'treat".

I think part of the problem is the use of the word basic. A lot of people seem to have read that and thought we shouldn't be buying anything other than the what they class as essential food.

I think the majority understand the idea is to go shopping as infrequently as possible, which will of course vary depending on circumstances, and that it's ok to buy wine, chocolate, lager etc. while you are there.

"TheDogIsKeepingMeSane" you missed the point that there was no need to go in the shop at all for that. But it's not your fault you didn't understand.

People were saying, and are still saying, that it is not OK to only "pop into a shop" for one or two nonessential items just because they fancied their favourite 'treat".

Yes, that's what most people were saying. But there were also people who were saying that stopping on the way round the supermarket, whilst doing your shop, to pick up treats such as hot cross buns or bottles of wine or bars of chocolate were being selfish because everyone should be aiming to do their essential shopping in the bare minimum of time, and if every shopper took and extra few minutes to pick up non essential items then they were increasing the risk to everyone.

everyone should be aiming to do their essential shopping in the bare minimum of time

I'd better not go then, I haven't been to the supermarket for years, I wouldn't have a clue where to find anything!

isabellerossignol
But I think most people agree those people are unreasonable and only interested in spreading misery.

The existence of some miserable types doesn't excuse needless shops for treats.

What's happening at the moment often is something like this:

OP: can I just (do this thing that isn't following the rules, either the spirit or the letter depending on the topic)?

Most posters: no you can't. The rules say... Why don't you do X instead.

Minority of posters (you can't stop me): ignore the Stasi, if it's not explicitly illegal in the text of the legislation then nobody has any grounds to tell you not to do it. You do you OP. I'm doing what I want and nobody can stop me

Most posters: the rules and the law are different. They're not going to legislate for everyone to only have one weekly shop because there are some circumstances where it absolutely is necessary for people to shop more than once. The rules are there to slow the spread of the virus so each unnecessary trip is hindering the effectiveness of the rules. Just follow the rules. Shop as infrequently as possible, avoid non essential travel and go out once a day for your exercise.

Random misery guts: FFS. Survive on gruel if you have to. If you're not surviving from the dust on your telly then you don't need to leave the house.

Most posters: Actually, just follow the rules. Shop as infrequently as possible, avoid non essential travel and go out once a day for your exercise. If people don't follow these rules we could be looking at a stricter lockdown and almost nobody wants that. We need the minority to stop being selfish idiots.

Minority (you can't stop me): See! See! People are such do-gooders and aren't happy unless everyone is bowing to the state. What's happened to this country? Look at all the curtain twitchers. [Insert some reference to police state / Stasi / Nazi Germany here].

Bold fail

What's happening at the moment often is something like this:

OP: can I just (do this thing that isn't following the rules, either the spirit or the letter depending on the topic)?

Most posters: no you can't. The rules say... Why don't you do X instead.

Minority of posters (you can't stop me): ignore the Stasi, if it's not explicitly illegal in the text of the legislation then nobody has any grounds to tell you not to do it. You do you OP. I'm doing what I want and nobody can stop me

Most posters: the rules and the law are different. They're not going to legislate for everyone to only have one weekly shop because there are some circumstances where it absolutely is necessary for people to shop more than once. The rules are there to slow the spread of the virus so each unnecessary trip is hindering the effectiveness of the rules. Just follow the rules. Shop as infrequently as possible, avoid non essential travel and go out once a day for your exercise.

Random misery guts: FFS. Survive on gruel if you have to. If you're not surviving from the dust on your telly then you don't need to leave the house.

Most posters: Actually, just follow the rules. Shop as infrequently as possible, avoid non essential travel and go out once a day for your exercise. If people don't follow these rules we could be looking at a stricter lockdown and almost nobody wants that. We need the minority to stop being selfish idiots.

Minority (you can't stop me): See! See! People are such do-gooders and aren't happy unless everyone is bowing to the state. What's happened to this country? Look at all the curtain twitchers. [Insert some reference to police state / Stasi / Nazi Germany here].

isabellerossignol
But I think most people agree those people are unreasonable and only interested in spreading misery.

I agree. But I was posting in response to another poster who was adamant that on another thread, no one had berated anyone else for buying non essentials along with their groceries. But they definitely were.

I'm not trying to justify nipping to the shop for one or two things.

People were saying, and are still saying, that it is not OK to only "pop into a shop" for one or two nonessential items just because they fancied their favourite 'treat".
Most people were.

Several posters were saying the extra 10 seconds it takes to pick a hot cross buns or mascara or hair dye etc, was an extra 10 seconds that someone else was waiting and wasnt acceptable.

You cant rewrite it when so many people saw the bat shit behaviour.

isabellerossignol
I know you're not.

I wish the misery guts would shut up to be honest because they're becoming some illogical trump card for anyone selfish who is trying to justify their selfish actions. It's easier to argue with a minority who are clearly being ridiculous in their policing of others as a way to justify ignoring the rules than it is to engage with the 90% of reasonable posters who just think you should shop as infrequently as possible and avoid non-essential journeys.