WFH but not allowed to look after my kids??

[Hmmmmminteresting]

Ranting more than anything... i have a 3 year old and a 1 year old.
Classed as a key worker but due to the sector I'm in I am working from home.
My dcs nursery has closed down due to lack of demand.
My dh has to still go to work every day due to the sector he is in too.
Work have now sent out an email to all staff saying we must not be working from home whilst looking after our children. And that the expectation is that as key workers, nurseries and schools MUST stay open us.
I'm fuming! I would never send mine in to put them and others at risk while I'm sat at home. This is a shitty thing to do, right?

The people saying it can't be done are correct that it's extremely hard work. My 1 year old is very clingy and my 3 year old is used to doing lots of different activities outside the house and is bored silly. They are usually looked after by grandparents so not familiar with going to nursery.

To compound the issue DH is a 'key worker' in a role that can't be done from home currently requiring him to be out of the house from 5am until 6pm every day, 7 days a week. So I'm basically on my own with them.

I work for a council so would be getting full pay regardless if I was working or not. I work with vulnerable people who I'm doing my best to support by phone and email. I'm doing the best I can in the circumstances and that's all anyone should be asking if anyone right now.

Although reading this thread I'm feeling slightly better about just how hard I'm finding it.

Your employer expects you to work to your maximum capacity in return for the money they are paying you.

This is a global crisis situation. It is completely unreasonable to expect that EVERYTHING else changes except the expectations of the employers.

I think this is on you to resolve, however unfair it feels.

If you want to work: You are a keyworker (I know, not a key one - but that isn’t your role to choose) so you can and should access a nursery. Call around.

Alternatively, ask your work if you can do your hours when your DH is home/after DCs bedtime and work flexibly.

If you don’t want to work: Ask for unpaid leave.

I didn’t actually say I thought it was acceptable that her employer thinks that, but it is a fact. Not every employer is good or moral or helpful. Some of them are downright massive arseholes (looking at you Tim Martin) , and that’s not going to change because of a national crisis. That’s why I suggested she negotiated lower pay for less productivity, in the hope that the employer would see she was serious about keeping her job, which at the moment is a huge consideration. Having principles doesn’t pay the bills sadly.

Mumsnet is such a weird place sometimes.

Just yesterday there was a thread where the majority of posters agreed with the OP that her keyworker friend was a "selfish twat" (charming) for not being able to work from home (as the only adult at home) whilst simultaneously looking after 3 nursery school aged children, and thought OP's friend was completely unreasonable to use nursery care for those children. Seriously, can anyone do a full time job with 3 pre-schoolers at home?!

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3861083-Or-is-my-friend-a-selfish-twat-Childcare-related

Personally I don't think there's any hard and fast rules here about whether keyworkers should be able to WFH whilst looking after their own kids. Whether you can do your job with the kids at home depends on:

1. How many children you have in the house (obviously looking after 3 kids etc will be harder than just 1).

2. The age of the children (clearly pre-school kids are going to need a lot of supervising, most older kids not so much).

3. If the children have any special needs (meaning they need extra supervision).

4. How critical the job is (clearly if you are a 'keyworker' but in a backroom role doing work that isn't urgent, then it's less of an issue if you are less productive).

5. How much concentration etc the job requires (if you need to solidly concentrate for hours at what you are doing, as oppose to being able to dip in and out of it, then doing it with kids is clearly going to be much harder).

I think its a real shame that instead of supporting keyworkers on Mumsnet, it's all about judging them and I frankly can see a lot of 'green eyed monster' posts as well ("well I manage so they should be able to"). Personally (me and DH are both keyworkers) we would rather not send our kids to childcare, but it's a 'needs must' situation. I can't work from home (inpatient nurse). DH can work from home, but we have an autistic 5 year old and a very demanding 3 year old, and his job involves the essential role of keeping the NHS IT systems working by spending hours concentrating on programming code etc. He just can't do that whilst closely supervising the kids, and he is expected to be working 'normal' office hours, so can't do it when the kids are in bed etc, what is he supposed to do?!?

I'm sorry but I wouldn't stick my child in some random nursery with no settling in or knowing anything about the place . Presumably also having to pay 2 sets of nursery fees
OP your employer is being unfair. Tell them you have no childcare and either you'll do what you can or you can't work. Put the ball in their court.

My organisation usually has a policy that you don't care for kids while wFH. We are a LA so all keyworkers. They've basically said 'these are not normal times'. 3 and 1 are hard ages though, needing a lot of attention. I wouldn't send a 1 year old to childcare at the moment, I know little ones aren't at particular risk from Covid19, but given that Boris says stay at home, and your baby can, baby stays at home. I'd offer to do some hours after bedtime / before kids get up, then halfarse the rest to the best of your ability. Mine aren't this young but I'm sure there are plenty on here who can help you make it work.

It's madness. We're core NHS and in a week or two I'm sure will be hugely busy and redeployed all over the place. Right now we're not, because all routine work has stopped. We have two people in (on a rota) maintaining the bare minimum. Everyone else is working from home. Senior clinicians like me are putting plans and pathways and processes and training into place, but most of my team have much less than a full day's work to do.

One of my team's allocated task is 'clean your house so, when things ramp up, you're not worried about it'. She has no IT at home so can do nothing else.

I've told everyone, 'right now, your core job role is helping as you can in your community'. The parents I've told, 'your job is to keep you and your family safe and happy.'

This is the calm before the storm. I will be asking extraordinary things of them. I'm certainly not going to badger them pointlessly now!

RoomR0613 I didn’t list “working around the children” as an option because I don’t think it can be done, not if the work has to be done in child waking hours anyway.

Given the OP’s drip feed that she’s not actually a key worker in the true sense, I agree that working round the kids (ie not really working) is the best option.

If her role was genuinely essential then I would say childcare or DH looks after them. It is more important to keep key roles going.

I'm a key worker WFH & my LEA has said they'll only take my DC if both of us are key workers. My DH isn't, but he works in construction which is quite clearly business as usual.
But quite frankly I'm not sure I would send my DC in even if I could.
Your employer sounds like a twat. Seek union/ACAS advice?

We are both key workers and nursery is closing on Friday. My son is starting at a new nursery on Monday. It absolutely sucks but this is what we have to do. Hope you find a way.

Our local authority has a list of child care settings that will remain open for key workers.

I’m a key worker but can work from home and I’m also a single mum to one child.
I feel extremely lucky that my work have been happy for have me working from home whilst I have my LO.They appreciate that I need to do things for LO too and under the circumstances, don’t expect me to drop in pay but let them know if I struggle with anything so they can sort it out.
I have been finding it difficult, especially today with doing both. However I’m trying my best. I am getting all my job done 100% as my child has been amazing. However, what I’m finding difficult is finishing my work to then teach/help do schoolwork, do my day to day house jobs and then somehow fit playtime in. I’m absolutely exhausted! Happy I’m not as bored as others though!
I will continue to try my best and we’ll get there. We just need to be kind to others and realise this is an exceptional circumstance. We are all trying our best here and I think all employers should realise that.