WFH but not allowed to look after my kids??

[Hmmmmminteresting]

Ranting more than anything... i have a 3 year old and a 1 year old.
Classed as a key worker but due to the sector I'm in I am working from home.
My dcs nursery has closed down due to lack of demand.
My dh has to still go to work every day due to the sector he is in too.
Work have now sent out an email to all staff saying we must not be working from home whilst looking after our children. And that the expectation is that as key workers, nurseries and schools MUST stay open us.
I'm fuming! I would never send mine in to put them and others at risk while I'm sat at home. This is a shitty thing to do, right?

The guidance from government, healthcare professionals, scientific advisors, schools and everyone who knows anything is clear: children should only go to school if they cannot possibly be cared for safely at home.

I'm amazed how many people think it's acceptable under these circumstances to place kids in school/nursery when it is not absolutely necessary, placing everyone involved (and society as a whole) at greater risk.

OP, you're spot on. Your work is being selfish and unreasonable, and I agree with others who have said you should tell them that you're following government mandates (and so should they).

I'm actually shocked that people agree with my employer on this... I thought people who believe it was ok to send their kids off to be babysit while the parents work from home were a myth if I'm entirely honest. I don't mean that in a mean way although I know it will probably sound like I do.

To be clear... the key worker list they issued was huge. I am classed as a key worker purely down to the company who I work for. My role within there is not essential at all to keeping the country moving, however everyone in the building secured key worker status.
My nursery know my role and therefore are not concerned that by closing, they are doing the nation a disservice. Also their staff levels and child levels are now practically non existent due to isolating or generally just wanting to keep their families safe
Thanks for the messages of support anyway :-)

It doesn't sound mean....just a bit odd that your imagination can't stretch to a situation where someone could have a job which they could do at home, but that was also so important it needs to be done without the distraction of two very small children.

Boris Johnson works from home...I don't think he should run the country whilst simultaneously caring for two toddlers!!

That's not your situation, but we didn't know that because you didn't tell us that your role is not really that important until your later post. Some key workers have vitally important admin based roles so can work from home but need to be on it 100% not working round Mr Tumble and nap time. That's not a myth!

In your case it does seem that your employer is being unreasonable.

Do you honestly think you can do your job thoroughly and effectively while taking care of two toddlers?

If you're a key worker, then it's essential that your job is done thoroughly and effectively. So unless you have exceptional toddlers, then yes i think its reasonable for your boss to ask you to find childcare.

In my authority key worker staus to use school is 2 parents, or single parent who works in red zone. End of, no one, except vulnerable children are allowed in without this status. School risk assessments are huge, staff are signing them to say they accept risks and we know that the virus will travel through these small school communities, in fact you getting sick is expected. Children struggle to stay a safe distance to not touch etc. Your company are putting lives at risk, your children's, education staff and your families. These companies need to be dealt with by the government. I feel so sorry for you and i hope you can find a solution. As a teacher whose only child care just now in my 74 year old parent, me working with children who have a parent at home risks my life, my families lives and the life of my parent all because 1 company is selfish, with an over inflated self of importance.

Sadly these 'companies" putting everyone at risk are often LAs not big corporations or desperate small businesses. I work for an LA who have decided every single person is key staff - they are overwhelmingly the largest employer here and are expecting young chlldren to access childcare. I've refused- no way toddler DD is putting extra pressure on the nursery, risking everyone whilst we WFH is non essential, non frontline roles. I also have chronic asthma. Employers have showed their lack of care and I will be seeking to leave once all this is over. We have agreed I will take unpaid leave if necessary.

@blackcat86 LAs like supermarkets and the NHS can redeploy staff if necessary. Though unlike supermarkets and the NHS the managers don't seem as good at contingency planning...

How will they know if your children are home with you and not in childcare? Mine were less demanding at one and three than they are now literally with two stair gates some snacks and drinks loads of toys and cbeebies in the background they just sat and mooched around

No, there is no planning and very little communication to staff. What there is tends to be wolly, unhelpful and generally discriminatory to those with young children (I'm supposed to put DD in nursery but my colleague caring for his elderly mother with dementia at home who requires equal levels of care and oversight is fine apparently as they simply hadnt considered other caring responsibilities). Most 'men at the top' have wives that facilitate this but think they are very much on the front line. Fortunately me and DH work in 2nd tier roles so it's nice if we're there for infrastructure but come xmas we both are forced to take leave to make way for the real essential emergency staff. Of course they could redeploy us but I guess I'm finding myself just saying no and seeing what the managers do- these things are usually at manager's discretion. Dh was asked to go and work across 2 hospitals and then visit staff self isolation (he isnt medical just infrastructure) and if I hadnt have kicked up a fuss he probably would have just gone along with it. He said no and they found another way (this would have seen him in contact with over 200 key staff in 2 days with no PPE). No PPE is being provided, offices are filthy as cleaners are only allowed to clean certain things, and LAs are sitting back where they should be flag ship employers demonstrating to other businesses how its done. I volunteered for a working group to look at recruitment and retention issues but now I'll be jumping ship pronto.

Theyll hear a toddler but with me and DH at home (different managers, different directorates) I dont think they can actually prove anything. Let them try frankly.

Can you do your job properly while you have your kids at home and your partner out working?

If you can be flexible in the hours you work and so put the time in when the baby is napping/toddler watching TV/distracted/etc. or after they've gone to bed or your partner is home to care for them, then YANBU and your employer is being really inflexible. But if you can't get your job done properly and you aren't critical to the company then I sort of see their point. They shouldn't really be asking you to send your kids into school though, should they? I thought employers were supposed to be judicious about who they classed as key?

Many other parents who don't have key worker status and can't get their work done at home with their kids are having to take time off too. And many others who aren't parents have had their work pulled out from under them. It's a really hard time and I hope you get through it.

Given that SAHPing a 1 and a 3 year old would (according to the vast majority of people on here) be a more than full time job, I fail to see how anyone can work from home while looking after 2 babies and expect their employer to pay them a full wage.

Your employer expects you to work to your maximum capacity in return for the money they are paying you. There’s no way you can do this at the moment. Nobody can do 2 full time jobs concurrently. If you want to make this work , then negotiate a reduction in wages with your employer to compensate them for the reduced productivity on your behalf.

I can WFH however I have many conference calls, I am flat out working all day. How can I look after my child when I am working?

I also will need to be free to go on emergency visits to clients etc. So yes my child goes to school when I WFH.

Can people really do any work with a 1 year old at home? Maybe mine is just particularly demanding? I spend my day running around after him- his current favourite is climbing up on furniture and falling off- I cant look away for a second!
I am a key worker (part time out of the house) and so is my DH (fulltime wfh). We had my school age child at home and my 1 year old still with the childminder. The childminder has to decided to close for the next 4 weeks so scrambling around trying to negotiate with work. Not possible for DH to work with the youngest at home.

I think some people with young kids will just struggle to work from home. Young ones just can't be left for ages unless they are sleeping.

For my staff, I have asked what they think they can do given home circumstances. Frankly I don't expect a full day's work in current circumstances if they are managing little ones etc. However, what I am seeing is some of those are doing little bits during day when toddlers are sleeping or entertained with a game or TV, and then making up other time early morning before the kids awake or in the evening for a little while.

I have been clear I'm flexible and won't be counting hours at all as we are all professionals and this is an utter crisis

For what is a crisis, I'm trying to look for the good about this and previously I have seen resistance from old hands to more agile/flexible working practices including working from home and I'm really pleased that this demonstrates the technology works, meetings are shorter and to the point and I think people are at least if not more productive. Maybe that's because my staff know I believe in it, promote it and want to show me in difficult times how we made it work so I'm really proud how they have stepped up. In future I will be having less of them driving an hour to work, pay parking and polluting the environment!

I have a (just turned )1 and a 3 year old. It is breaking me to be honest. Their needs are so different and it is hard. My 3 year old is struggling with the change to her routine and is v clingy and started to wake up at night (I am currently in her bed as she was freaking out so much last night and she is in mine). My 12m old is starting to stand and walk and is a destructive force. So no, I don’t think you can do a full time job (or much of any job) with children that age.

My employer has said the same, but they have followed this up by inviting proposals for working flexibly, e.g. changing hours to work around the other parent. So DH and I are tag teaming. I'm going to work on a Sunday instead of Monday, and either do split shifts or early shifts the other days. I usually work around 60 hours a week (professional services) and I think I'll now be working more like 40, so my employer will lose out. DH is a key worker in a hospital but we are heeding gov advice and trying not to send the DC to school. Can you be flexible with your hours, OP?

I'm expecting to be knackered pretty soon, without 2 days off I'm a row and 6am starts and 10pm finishes, so I'll reassess in a few weeks. Maybe consider going to 4 days temporarily if my work eases off a bit.

Marie you sound great. Add cheaper leases to that list as you get a smaller office with hot desks. And bean bags and table tennis tables.

I am shocked that people agree with your employer too, OP. In normal circumstances, of course, no one should be claiming to work from home whilst also looking after two toddlers. But these are not normal times! In these current times, what choice do we have?

If nursery has shut and there’s no coordinated provision, which is also the case round here (medical friends currently scrabbling for places and not finding them) then it isn’t as simple as finding a place, plus there’s the concern around sending them to a strange environment and settling.

I’m not a key worker but am expected to work from home. I’m the only woman in my dept leadership with a child below secondary age (have a two year old) and no one wants to have an honest or supportive conversation about caring responsibilities and the impact. To mange things, I’m spreading my 4 days a week over 5, working earlier and later in the day and doing calls at nap times and when DH can cover. It’s exhausting but ok.

My BIL is getting special leave (paid) to stay at home because he lives with MIL who is 70. He’s not her carer (if anything it’s the other way around). Whilst I think that’s maybe over generous, I do think it’s something employers should consider for those who can’t work - much like those whose businesses have closed but they get 80% of their wages. It’s always women who lose out in the caring roles. It may not be that simple for OP to take a cut in wages. It’s a crisis unlike any other and there should be support accordingly not just unrealistic dictates issued by management.

marie thanks for offering up the perfect example of how a boss should be responding! Honest, open and understanding!

Ridiculous (of them!) They need to recognise/ be flexible and perhaps suggest amended hours due to the obvious difficulties whilst at home with kids. Bloody hell, how to make a vvv difficult situation even harder, idiots. Sorry ;(

Do you need to work set hours?

Most people in your situation are having to work odd hours around children.

My employer has said the same. I told my team I dont give a shit. Keep their kids hom and if they are struggling we pull together as a team. If work isnt being done, we will need to review then.

We are, technical, key workers. As in our people on the ground definitely are. They cant go to their job, unless we do ours. Our job is very important at the moment. But as a team we can get it done. We need to pick up the slack for others sometimes.

If it was up to the owners, all those with kids at home (of any age) would be off unpaid.

The problem with the key worker list, is that employers are interpreting it too widely.

I am apparently a key worker, I work for a business that runs schools and residential homes for children and vulnerable adults, therefore we do have key workers. However I am in HR. I can work from home, but have had the same communication from managers, children should be in school or I am unpaid.

I am ignoring it and working from home (mine 6 and 9 though). I am starting earlier and finishing later and taking breaks to help with school work. I am sure I have done more work from home than I manage in the office!

They are starting redundancy consultations in two weeks and my job is going - so not sure they have much of an argument that I am essential! (Redundancy is not related to CV but pre planned streamlining/restructuring).

I’m a manager and realise that in my team I have 2 parents of young children who will have to work around them but will do their best, 1 lady who has caring responsibilities for an elderly parent who is sadly very unwell without the added complication of CV-19. I am picking up the slack and expect my 20 something colleague to do the same.

The directors are not making this easy as they keep moving the goalposts especially for the staff that can’t work from home (not my team) which makes inter departmental communication and working hard. They don’t seem to understand social distancing and what is essential, nor are they happy with how I am managing my team.

“ Your employer expects you to work to your maximum capacity in return for the money they are paying you. There’s no way you can do this at the moment. ”

Fortunately my employer understands that they need to be flexible in a time of national crisis, by being understanding and supportive and not putting additional stress on employees with rules that run contrary to govt guidelines. We are expected and trusted to do our work, and instead of making rules about how households manage their situation in this crisis, they are sending us messages thanking us for the work we are doing despite less than ideal working conditions. Honestly, trusting employees to do their jobs is a far better strategy for getting the best out of them. OP, I’m sorry your employer is putting you through this crap unnecessarily