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Original poster

My husband has said I can quit my job if I want to.

409 replies

QueenofmyPrinces · 25/03/2020 21:41

I’m a nurse, obviously anxious about what dangers and nightmares lie ahead, and my DH has just said that I don’t have to go to work if I don’t want to, and he’d rather us live on just one wage if it meant I could be kept safe.

Has anyone else working in hospitals ever felt so nervous about what’s to come that they’d consider leaving?

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 26/03/2020 10:55

So have you decided what you're going to do OP?

1300cakes · 26/03/2020 10:56

I just don't think people are appreciating the enormity of the scale of the problem of what will happen if large numbers of health care staff choose to quit

Thats just part of living in a democracy I suppose. People are free to quit a job if they want. Totalitarian regimes don't have this problem but they have many many many other problems.

If too many people quit, the government will have to offer some incentive, eg, more money. The same way they do for any unpopular but necessary job.

thenightfury · 26/03/2020 11:00

As much as I massively appreciate all the HCP right now more than ever. My life is still not more important than yours. If you want to leave then that's your choice. For the piss poor wage they pay NHS workers who can blame you. Not like you get danger pay for this shit is it!

1300cakes · 26/03/2020 11:19

The funniest part of this thread is all the people trying to shame OP in to continuing by using reverse psychology. "Oh well I guess you aren't a very good nurse then..."

Do you think OP is going to say "Hey shut up! Yes I am! I'm going to go mouth kiss a covid patient right now to prove you wrong!" Grin

Carrotcakeforbreakfast · 26/03/2020 11:21

1300cakes Grin

Yeah I might try that to to prove my dedication.

Forget the chlor-clean. Allow me to clean the CT gantry with my tongue.
After all this is what I signed up for.

1300cakes · 26/03/2020 11:47

Carrot no one would bother trying to shame a radiographer that way as they know it would never work, as everyone knows we have no shame.

kingofkings · 26/03/2020 13:07

Just wanted to encourage OP a little. In work today things are calm and under control.

Munkeyface · 26/03/2020 13:21

I'm a nurse. I work 2 days a week.
Don't need to work financially. I work because I live my job and I'm pretty good it at.

My husband is also a front line dr.

I am seriously thinking of stopping work. We have young children to think of. No family in this country.

Can't bear the thought of both of us being at risk.

OP you are not alone

AlexaAmbidextra · 26/03/2020 13:59

I don't think anyone is bullying. People are genuinely questioning who is going to look after very sick people if large numbers of health care staff quit their jobs.

Don’t be disingenuous. Some aren’t just questioning. They’re being fucking vicious.

Potkettlexx · 26/03/2020 15:10

@Itsmybirthday19

Nurses can’t be trained over night. Cashiers can.

They have a duty to step up. If they don’t want to then fair enough, but probably best not to come on a public site and expect everyone to say yeah just leave.

It’s a good job everyone didn’t share the same thoughts or we’d all be screwed.

AlexaAmbidextra · 26/03/2020 15:18

Potkettlexx. I trust that your job puts you at risk of death? I’m assuming it must otherwise you’d have no right to expect that of others would you?

Potkettlexx · 26/03/2020 15:29

@AlexaGggg

I’m not a health professional but I work in front line service whereby I’m exposed to hundreds of people each day.

I understand why the OP would want to leave if she was working in an environment where she had no access to protective clothing etc.... absolutely leave, no one should have to deal with that.

If she has got access to protective clothing then the risks are low aren’t they?

What about the thousands of doctors and nurses that are elderly themselves (if they’ve retired) who are coming back to help?! They are willing to help out

Original poster
QueenofmyPrinces · 26/03/2020 15:41

What about the thousands of doctors and nurses that are elderly themselves (if they’ve retired) who are coming back to help?! They are willing to help out

I imagine a lot of them have no idea of the reality of what’s going on inside hospitals at this current time and the real risks involved with what they’re offering to do.

Also, I don’t suppose many retired nurses and doctors have young dependents they need to take into consideration.

OP posts:
Tiredmum100 · 26/03/2020 16:04

OP, another nurse here as well. I don't blame you at all for wanting to leave. I want to stay home with my dc too. I'm 15 years qualified, if 18 years ago I was told about this situation I would have done something different. In fact when all this is over I'm really thinking of a career change. Like you nothing is more important than my children. I'm terrified of going to work (have yet to come across one who isn't). I have underlying heart and lung problems as well which doesnt help my anxiety. It's not what I signed up for. Not on this scale. I am not going to leave, as another poster said I love and care about my colleagues. However our managers are very supportive of self isolation and child care issues surrounding covid 19. Sound like your work place isn't sp great. After this is done things really need to change in the NHS. I think the days where nurses shut up and put are long gone! It's so easy for people who can WFH or in another profession to sit at home and make you feel awful to want to leave but I bet you anything they wouldn't do it!! Nursing was on its knees before this. Despite everything I just said I do love my job too. I've given so much of myself to others over the years, but have learnt so much in return from patients.

Lamentations · 26/03/2020 16:26

If you trained to be a nurse surely you anticipated that you might encounter infectious patients at some point? I don't think it's unkind to point that out. Nobody is saying that you have to not feel scared but I do think you need to find some courage. The army comparison is fair, it's about coming to terms with the fact that you now face the risks that you previously only needed to consider in theory.

Rupertpenrysmistress · 26/03/2020 16:37

The problem is unless you are currently in the NHS Particularly frontline, you have no idea of how bad it is. If I knew what I know as a frontline nurse as a volunteer no way would I offer myself like a lamb to the slaughter.

It is simple, we do not have the PPE advised by WHO. We are expected to provide close range care with a PAPER mask. We are not without feeling, family or immune systems although it would be alot easier if we were.

I as a senior nurse will continue at the frontline to provide care to the patient's and support my staff. will I continue when this is over, I am not sure, I am sure however I of lots of mental health issues and sickness among medical staff, whilst we try to catch up.

Never mind though it's what we signed up for. I would not recommend my children join my line of work, no support and such expectation of putting your patients before your children no thanks!!

kingofkings · 26/03/2020 17:16

The army comparison is wrong as we are not tied in.
We are courageous and compassionate.
But we've been told the last few years that we are nothing special, just a normal day job and treated like shit. But it's not a normal job it's a vocation and you really have to care and go the extra mile. However we still have rights - we have a union and we deserve adequate protection within guidelines.

Isadora2007 · 26/03/2020 17:23

The army comparison is fair, it's about coming to terms with the fact that you now face the risks that you previously only needed to consider in theory.
👏🏻 Exactly this. As I think I was the one originally using the soldier analogy, this was exactly what I meant. And why I said that there was no judgment in making the decision to leave nursing IF that moment makes you realise you can’t actually “prioritise patients”... it’s the first fundamental principle of nursing.

Fizzypoo · 26/03/2020 17:25

OP I hope you do what's best for you and your family.

I would not work in unsafe conditions and risk dying and I don't expect any NHS staff to either.

BubblyBarbara · 26/03/2020 17:27

The army comparison is fine. Do I think it means you HAVE to stay as a nurse and be on the "front line"? No. You have to make the decision for yourself. Lots of soldiers have left the service when they found things too hard going. The comparison is fine but the ultimate decision is still yours.

Marieo · 26/03/2020 17:28

There are some similarities between nursing and the military to be fair. Inadequate equipment (coffins on wheels anyone), treated like poo and expected to just accept it because ItS wHaT yOu SiGnEd Up To, gapping billets as not enough personnel, rubbish pay really for the job, not directly putting your family in danger but missing out on key events and spending a long time away. Not excusing or being competitive, but what's the common thread between both...who is in charge? Hmmm

kingofkings · 26/03/2020 17:33

It's really not the same. Army recruits are tied into service fir a particular period and really fo sign up to active service with risk of death in combat.
The public don't own us and can't tell us what to do (much as you might wish you could ) any more that you can tell a lawyer what to do.

Marieo · 26/03/2020 17:41

The public don't own the military either @kingofkings Confused. The way they are treated is similar, they didn't sign up to go to war with inadequate equipment which was proven to cause more fatalities, just like nurses didn't sign up for a job which wouldnt provide adequate PPE to keep them safe. Obviously the job isn't the same, I guess it depends on your viewpoint. Is it braver to sign up to something knowing you could die, or have it thrust upon you and quit? I don't wish to tell any nurse what to do, if they want to leave then of course they should be entitled to just like anyone else is. Oh except the military who after ROS have to give a years notice.

Marieo · 26/03/2020 17:52

There seems to be a slight irony though that you are saying they knew what they signed up for, but when people are saying that about nurses you disagree.

Sooverthemill · 26/03/2020 17:55

So you've expressed your fears to your DH and your lovely bloke has said you don't need to do this, you can quit? Does that make you feel relieved, guilty, happy? I'd go with your gut. This is a scary item and you have children. You don't have to be superhuman or risk more than you feel you can