My husband has said I can quit my job if I want to.

[QueenofmyPrinces]

I’m a nurse, obviously anxious about what dangers and nightmares lie ahead, and my DH has just said that I don’t have to go to work if I don’t want to, and he’d rather us live on just one wage if it meant I could be kept safe.

Has anyone else working in hospitals ever felt so nervous about what’s to come that they’d consider leaving?

@QueenofmyPrinces

**I imagine a lot of them have no idea of the reality of what’s going on inside hospitals at this current time and the real risks involved with what they’re offering to do.

Also, I don’t suppose many retired nurses and doctors have young dependents they need to take into consideration.**

I suspect they do know what they are signing up for, as they are highly educated and will have practiced for decades. It’s all over the news how dire the situations is at the moment.

If you haven’t got the protection that you need then I totally understand why you’d want to leave.

You have to do what is right for you and your family.
I am going to be caring for ventilated patients shortly but if we don't have the right ppe I won't.It might be awkward for a while while they sort it out but if I get ill I can't work,and maybe worse,with proper protection I can work for as long as it takes.

Seeing it on the news and having last been in the NHS several years ago are light years apart. Years of austerity under the Tories has bought the NHS to its knees.

Unless you know someone who is, or are currently in the NHS you have no idea of how awful it is. I am due in tomorrow and am dreading it I have never felt like this before. we are likely to be a palliative ward that is psychologically draining, we normally have maybe 2-3 at a push that are palliative not a whole ward (26) of patient's the NHS does not have the resources to save. Remember these patient's will likely not be able to have visitors and, we have been advised staffing is likely to be 4 staff in total, 4:26 dying patient's.

I repeat we do not have the correct PPE so are at huge risk.

Yep. I think all the 'it's a VOCATION, suck it up!' -are failing to realise the issue is 10 years of austerity, deliberate underfunding, staff denigrating (recall how the Tories got their Red Top mates to blame 2008 on Public Workers Pensions??? How our Pay Bodies recommendations were not only rejected, but ridiculed, as 'it's only a job, innit?)-has lead to a slightly less committed workforce.

It's coming home to roost.

But, BoJo; you give me the proper kit, not endlessly downgraded kit (because you're running out, because you failed to plan), and I'll 'go in'.

Without that? No I won't.

I think we are all scared and worried and fear we might bring it home to our families. I have underlying Health issues and my son is asthmatic and has been quite poorly recently. I work on a ward where we have Patients with covid and there is a level of anxiety and worry about enough PPE but we are a team, we all feel the same and we are all working together and supporting each other, we are a work family we’ve made sure those who have no childcare have shifts they can do by moving ours about and talking to each other and helping where we can. Whilst still caring for our patients and doing our jobs.

I think if someone felt like leaving that’s sad and at this time it’s unfortunate but best to do what feels right for you. But you will be leaving an entire profession that is petrified and worried etc you’re not alone. Our occupational health has launched lines we can call if worried or stressed and we will be well supported as manager is amazing. Whatever you decide I wish you all the best

And why I said that there was no judgment in making the decision to leave nursing IF that moment makes you realise you can’t actually “prioritise patients”... it’s the first fundamental principle of nursing.

You actually believe that a nurse should prioritise patients, effectively strangers, over her own children and if she doesn’t she’s not cut out to be a nurse? Seriously?

If I were you, you wouldn’t see me for the dust. Your children are the top priority and so is your mental health. I’m a teacher and feel super stressed at the expectations and there’s guarantee that I will encounter it. There is for you though.

I didn't say the public own the military. But they certainly don't own us.
If you were a builder and they said you have to construct at dangerous heights it wouldn't be acceptable to everyone. It depends on individual circumstances. What's a bit annoying on Mumsnet threads is that people appear to think they own medical professionals and by paying taxes that we ALL pay they conclude that we have to answer to the self seeking public. Not the case.

We do it not because you own us or somehow can control us but because, taking into account our individual health and other circumstances we just want to do our best for you out of free choice.

Also there were four people in AE today. FOUR.
And there are empty beds on every ward.

The hospital feels more like an actual functioning working hospital instead of a sort of community building with cafe with members of public wandering around blocking corridors so the emergency teams can't get past , asking for updates when we are working at the computers checking investigations.
Much more efficient. An actual hospital instead of being full of ' visitors' filling up the car parks and wards expecting to speak to doctors while they are busy working.
And the sheer reduction in admissions is amazing. Something has to change when this is all over.

It is amazing in A&E with it being used as it should be by members of the public.Quiet,controlled and enough staff.
Would that it was used properly in normal times.

OP, I left the NHS early last year due to continuous underfunding, unsafe staffing levels and piss poor top level management (in the area I worked in). I loved the NHS and my job, but it burnt me out and in the end I had to prioritise my mental health and family life. I only had eight years experience but it was enough to see the rapid decline.

I wasn’t a nurse either but I was a skilled worker.

Go with your gut. If you want to leave then leave.

If you aren’t being given the correct PPE then refuse to work until you have it as it’s unsafe, or leave.

I doubt much has changed since I left- in fact it’s probably worse.

I debated going back briefly as I am still on the bank but I have an autoimmune condition, have severe hypertension, my children are prone to chest issues and my husband is also in the high risk category. I’d probably be more of a liability at this stage!

Don’t let anyone guilt you. This is your choice.

My mother died in the early nineties and the nurses in the hospital she was in were absolutely wonderful but overworked and underpaid even then. I dread to think what it must be like now.

I can completely understand where you are coming from and I am sure when you signed up to be a nurse, you didn't imagine this pandemic. I guess the only thing to consider is if you walk away now would that be the end of your nursing career or would you go back in a few years? How often do you have to keep up your skills to keep your reg number? Ultimately your family are your number one priority and if you don't feel you can keep them safe then leave-especially if you have an underlying condition and you're not properly protected. Thank you for all you have done so far! Good luck with your decision.

queenofmyprincess

I'm a front line key worker too (police officer) and i experienced a terrifying incident a few years ago, so i understand how you are feeling. we were basically in a riot without the kit being attacked from all sides. We finally got to put the kit on and then worked for hours trying to stop 2 sides of the protest killing each other while they kicked, punched us and threw bricks and petrol bombs. The kit you get in the public sector is dire and there is never enough of it. i understand what it is like trying to protect people who literally do not care and hate you. However i think the country is behind the nhs x

You are supposed to face danger daily often for people who despise you for doing your job and for a government who haven't given you funding or a decent pay rise in years.

I wouldn't make rash decisions to leave, but i would take your feelings seriously. You are in dire need of a rest, a break. Would taking a week sick help you be able to return? your mental health is as important as your physical health and it's clear you are suffering?

This is not on you to fix, you are a number, you play a vital part but it is not just on you to fix. It won't help that being in work will expose you to all your colleagues fears and anxieties. However it's a call only you can make.

hope that helps

The government hasn't given you and your colleagues the right equipment to protect yourselves (or any equipment at all) - it's like sending soldiers onto the battlefield unequipped when the other side has Kalashnikovs.

This.

Thanks for everything you've done and it's totally understandable if you think the risk is too high. It doesn't make you less of a nurse.

I think the comparison to soldiers is so misguided. Healthcare workers are much more at risk than others as they are exposed to a higher viral load. You didn't sign up to put your life so directly on the line when you entered nursing and more importantly neither did your family and DC. They have a choice too. And the retirees coming back had a choice, some chose differently. Me and DH are both frontline. There's a possibility our DC could be orphaned through caring for others. I don't think that's fair on them and it's not a choice I would be making as a mother if I could avoid it. It's unthinkable but now it's a possibility. If you chose your family I would understand. There's strangers' opinions on the internet and there's a sense of vocation, and then there's being around to see your children grow up.

I don't blame you at all. We are both key workers and I was so pleased when I was allowed to work at home and live in fear of dh bringing in back.

And to all those judging from a distance, NHS has been short of tens of thousands of nurses for years, causing real suffering. I'm sure you all quit your jobs and retrained or volunteered because 'what if everyone just ignored that situation, people wouldn't get the best care and could die'.

I posted a while ago about some teachers feeling the same, some aren’t coming in. I understand the fear.
We’ve swung like pendulums, and we’re not actually in hospitals. However now the number of people we are in regular direct contact with it who are ill is scary.
I don’t know the answer, but no judgment here for feeling like this.

Apparently emails are going to be sent out to all staff for us to assess our skills to decide who can be deployed to High Dependency Units, Critical Care Units and Intensive Care units.

Not a single person on my ward is trained in ICU care, or even CCU care and none of us would feel competent working in those clinical areas but I doubt that will make much difference.

I’m sure that what’s on its way is nurses without the correct training, knowledge or abilities will be thrown into HDU, CCU and ICU and left to just get on with it.

It’s scary really that nurses are going to be in charge of patients on ventilators when they’ve probably never seen one before. It’s just another way that nurses are going to be petrified of working on the front line of this catastrophe.

I can’t imagine how many nurses are going to off sick with stress or potentially have to live with the fact that a ventilated patient died as a direct result of them not being able to care for them properly because we are just expected to go along with it and not complain or stand up for ourselves.

I have read they are planning on a situation perhaps where one critical care Nurse will oversee 6 less experienced Nurses caring for ventilated patients. It's very scary but I'm not sure what the alternative is except for moving critical care nurses from other areas? Not ideal either.

@AlexaAmbidextra
Yesterday 00:36 AlexaAmbidextra
I hope to God you're not actually a fucking nurse
I was just thinking the same. Hmm

Sorry for late reply. Slept until 2pm as have been working nearly 5 days solid and yes, I am a nurse. Including 15 years as palliative care CNS. Not sure of the point you are trying to make?? Maybe that I’m hard hearted or cruel or something?? Knock yourself out. I’m not sorry for a word I’ve said. Nurses should not be leaving in a time of crisis. These same people will want nursing care if they or a loved one needs it. Yes we are terrified. But we are vital. I stand by my comments that if all nurses deserted the NHS, those saying “just leave, your family are more important” would be on here in a flash complaining their loved one died because nurses left their jobs at the time they were needed most. You might be posting telling the OP to leave but come tomorrow, you might die because she did. Think about that.

@QueenofmyPrinces - you just keep doing you and coming up with the most ridiculous excuses as to why you should abandon the NHS at the time of the greatest need. A nurse not trained in critical care skills is better than no nurse at all. Plus- not everyone is going to be in itu/icu/hd - there will be plenty needed in general medical wards and surgical wards which have converted to medical.

A nurse not trained in critical care skills is better than no nurse at all.

I 100% agree with this - I know the hospitals have no choice but to place nurses where there is a clinical demand even if they aren’t trained for it.

The only point I was making was that it is another layer of the fear/anxiety that a lot of nurses are already feeling.

I’m not using it as a reason for me to leave the NHS as moving to those areas wont apply to me anyway, but for some of my colleagues it will, and I feel worried for them.

You will learn how to look after a patient who is being ventilated.
I know it's shit being out of your comfort zone - and even more shot not to get the correct protective gear, but what's your alternative? There isn't one, it all hands on deck at the moment,

We are not all sitting about at home pottering in the garden, doing online workouts with Joe & walking the dog.
I'm working twice as hard for no extra money at the moment, trying to financially survive and worrying about my own safety and my families.