Toilet Roll Problem Solved!

[Mockerswithnoknockers]

You will need:

• Packet of kitchen towels
• Breadknife

Worryingly, a big water gully sucker type thing pulled up outside our house and did something at our manhole............. they know our household's low on loo rolls don't they? Maybe they've been watching all the stockpilers, so know which houses they have to keep an eye on?

You will only need the knife when the sewer worker gets you down there to fish out your kitchen roll and scrape the sides with your knife.

Ffs.

The levels of stupidity this virus has exposed.

@WorraLiberty not as far as I know. They clean with their hand and poss dry with paper? I've never really asked.

I find lettuce leaves make a good substitute, but my DH says it is just the tip of the iceberg.

I used lettuce COS I could...

Op said kitchen TOWELS not kitchen roll

Some people say kitchen towel when they mean kitchen roll - I do sometimes.

And if they meant actual towelling, surely they’d need scissors rather than a bread knife?

What is a kitchen TOWEL?!

OP please tell me that's a Joe Wilkinson reference? I can't for the life of me remember the program name now though!

OP are you a plumber trying to drum up business?

Just use water!

I worked in a care home 20 yrs ago.....for washing bottoms it was a bum cloth (jay cloths cut up) and old flannels past their best as bum towels. after use put in a seperate container for a boil wash later.

YEARS ahead of their time as

1. eco friendly compared to wipes/ loo roll
2. cheap

If we run out of loo roll we will implement the same system in this house. I also have some dettol (tesco version) anti bac laundry add on stuff..... bought extra cheap jay cloths and dirt cheap flannels in case.

the care homes bum towels were a seperate colour (cerise) from face flannels.

I think people are being rather harsh on the op, she doesn't actually mention anything about flushing, but running out of loo roll is a real concern due to all the panic buying, i have the same concerns so have bought nappy sacks incase i have to resort to kitchen roll or even baby wipes

This was in 1996!!!

I think the op is joking

@user she might be, but its a good idea if things get that desperate, which for some people it might

And the little bin next to the toilet. So whatever replacement you need to use doesn't go down the 'pipe'.

I'm sure OP will be back soon to describe the 'loo' facility of the breadknife...until then I'll keep using mine for cutting bread.

I'm a boring bugger I am.

Well, none of my local shops or supermarkets had any kitchen roll in stock either so not really a solution!

Get in the bath or shower and wash your butt. People with bidets probably laughing at the rest of us right now.

l'm using kitchen roll for after wees. One square folded in quarters Bagging it in a nappysack or dog poo bag. Same for noseblowing, except half a square.

Saving my loo roll for when l need to flush it.

Thanks for the reports.

A kitchen roll and a bread knife you say?

Please don't try this at home, kids. Or in fact anywhere.

Bloody idiot I hope you only block your own pipes instead of the street. Good luck finding someone to come unblock them that won’t charge an absolute fortune you twit.

my best pal at work is from a Saudi family and they all have douche valves and are relentlessly taking the piss of British people panicking about loo roll