Just realising how selfish and self centred some of my friends are

[thefourgp]

I’m not falling out with anyone but I’m finding that some of the social media posts added by friends/acquaintances have lowered my opinion of them. A few people saying they’re not going to socially distance themselves, still going clothes shopping, going to pubs, letting their kids out to play with other kids etc. There’s also been posts that have shown how caring and thoughtful most of the people I know are too. I just think extreme situations tend to highlight the true nature of a person. Anyone else notice that?

Someone has just posted a picture on Facebook of their exotic holiday. They only just arrived yesterday. This is someone highly educated and intelligent who prior to this I thought was very caring and socially responsible.

There are no words.

I find this incredible, are they not watching the news? Do they not see what is happening in Italy? 800 people died there yesterday, Britain is a few weeks behind those sort of numbers.

I am English, and I live in a country which has been shut down for a week. All shops, resturants, parks + business. You must have a certificate to say why you have left your house and your ID. The police are checking this. Its draconian and authoritarian, but necessary because when asked to stay home initially people here also didn’t! They were in bars and socialising and now hundreds are dead. And the hospitals overwhelmed.

I am asthmatic and should really be working from home, according to the work risk assessment. But I have volunteered to be seconded into the hospital because they need skilled analysts to prepare and support them through the crisis. I then do the bare bones of my usual job, the bits I haven't managed to delegate out, at the weekends and in the evenings.

I am putting myself at risk for the sake of others. I have struggled to stay civil with others who don't think this is a good deal. The ones who say "it only kills old people". The ones who think it's not their job to stay home. It's everyone's job and they need to do, to save lives.

I have a friend who thinks this is all a ridiculous media frenzy and will still be going out and enjoying herself.
Thankfully, none of her friends wanted to meet up and now places are closed.

I have a friend who I’ve been on at for over 2 weeks. At first I was just accused of overreacting and she told me I was watching too much news and sending me stats about it just being like mild flu to most of us and not contagious as swine flu etc (clearly wrong!!). This made me angry because she knows my parents are in high risk group and we are in one of the worst areas and she can’t understand why I’m worried!?! She also went out for a final ‘blow out’ Friday and is planning her birthday end July. Ohhh of course , priorities hun!! I also wouldn’t be surprised if she’s having lock-ins at home. I’m sure a lot of people will be in my area tbh. She knows how strongly I feel now so I’m not sure I could be her friend if I find out she’s still being so fucking stupid! People need to realise it’s not about them. Oh , unless of course (and go forbid) she needs ICU for any reason when then beds are full!

I and everyone I know seems to be complying. I’ve seen no fb posts of people out / in pubs / socialising.

Indeed what I have seen is a community group set up to support people in isolation and lots of people adapting to the new norms generally using technology.

The govt know very well that a certain proportion of society won’t conform, it’s a known phenomenon and they’ll have a good idea of the numbers who aren’t. And this will all be calculated into deciding the time for full lockdown!

I will say that I do find social distancing excruciating. And I do mean excruciating, I’m very very extroverted and a SP so this ‘solitary confinement’ (a known torture) really impacts massively on MH. There is no such thing as non-essential contact in my normal world. And so this is really really hard and I would imagine many of the people who are still socialising are extroverts who need people when under pressure. I’m not saying they are right, but it’s probably where they are coming from for those finding it hard to understand.

@hamstersarse - sorry, what is an "SP" in your context - I googled it and the first thing that came up was Sex Party - I'm assuming that's not right, but I couldn't find anything else that made much better sense than that?

Yes l know someone who has gone on holiday. To be fair it was just before the 30 day no travel came in but it's really stupid. Having said that, they went down in my estimation recently anyway so l'm not surprised at their selfish self centred stupid behaviour. Apart from anything else, they are self employed and whilst they have been away their business has most likely dried up.

SP - single parent

Sex party would appeal right now

The message needs to be that in a war with an invisible enemy they are the fifth column - doing the enemy’s work, spreading the virus and so using up scarce NHS resources. It’s doing your duty to stay home!

Judging by this thread there will be a lot of very shocked people out there in 3-4 weeks when things are the same as in Italy. I actually hope people publicly hold them to account for their role in the spread. I don’t have Facebook these days for this reason, it makes my blood pressure rocket the amount of selfish people there are.

Thing is, @YouAreTheEggManIAmTheWalrus, when the leadership of the country seriously starts off by ignoring WHO advice, and other countries' bitter experiences, by advising herd immunity as a solution and doesn't take a strong decisive lead on social distancing and self-isolation till what many like me (and doubtless you) consider to be far too late, and you have absolute cockwombles like the Wetherspoons man spouting their ignorance, you unfortunately can't be surprised that a lot of people aren't getting the message, because they have not been given a clear one.
Funnily enough, I'm seeing far more selfish behaviour talked about here on MN than I see on FB. Might be my age, as I'm over 60 and being as careful as I can be given my H's idiotic colleague.

I haven't used facebook for about 2 years but thought it would be a good idea to start using it again to keep in contact with my childrens friends. However this morning I woke up to posts from those parents having a house party all together. Honestly I cant stop feeling so cross. I'm an nhs worker and my husband key worker. This is going to be devastating for so many people. Why cant they just understand? I just wont be able to look at those parents in the play ground again.

Thankfully my actual friends are very switched on and have listened.

You do wonder whether a lot of people are sitting on their brains at the moment.

Im waiting for all the Mother's day photos to go on social media.
I'm scraficing seeing my mum today because that's the sensible thing to do but no, the selfish entitled twats will.be having nice family gathering no doubt and doing there hit to ensure theyspread this virus a little bit more, making an absolute mockery of those of us sacraficing that today.

The selfish twats will have a long list if excuses and reasons why this ok!!!

I have a friend who’s 11 year old DS is asthmatic and she also constantly shares Stay Home memes on FB. Yet yesterday on our family walk I spotted her DS in the park with his friends, all over the climbing frames. There seems to be so many doing this, hectoring one thing on social media yet not following it through with their own family.

I’m afraid it’s a case of “first it came for the over-70s but we did nothing” etc. There was nothing special about the German people that meant so many joined the Nazi party if it was in their self-interest. Some people are selfish and don’t think of others - this is a reminder of that. They don’t care if other people are dying.

I'm staying off Facebook today. I saw a family member who is an ICU nurse out shopping with her elderly mother on there and I just raged at the screen. It's causing me unnecessary stress. Mind you, I looked out of my kitchen window and saw a neighbour off out with his kids laden with gifts, clearly going to his mum's down the road. As to whether he stays or just drops and leaves I don't know. His wife is a nurse as well, so they also should know better.

I hope that eventually everyone will understand and follow the advice to self-isolate, much like it was necessary in WWII to blackout windows every night time. I bet they were idiots then who didn't do it I initially and a few more buildings had to be hit first for them to realise the seriousness of the situation (or maybe I'm wrong, as it didn't used to be so much about me me me back then).

A friend of mine is a carer for the elderly in our community. She spent Friday afternoon and evening in our local town in a pub. I'm applaud by her. I can't understand how she could take the risk of catching it, not knowing she has it and spreading it to all those elderly and vulnerable people she will be seeing over the next few weeks.

For me this situation has changed the way I see a few people in my life and I'm not sure my relationships with them will survive sadly.

Mine is the opposite.

Everyone I know has put themselves into complete lockdown when they are not symptomatic and not at higher risk. I’ve seen perfectly healthy people on FB talking about how they won’t even take a walk. You’re allowed to go for a walk!!

Lots of screaming about how if you so much a crack a window you might as well let rip in an OAP home with an AK-47. I have friends who are undergoing chemo, and other friends who are NHS staff, and have no choice but to go outside. They really don’t need to be screamed at for how selfish they are for going outside.

Well there’s clearly a lot of us in the same boat. Doing all we can whilst others do whatever the hell they want. I used to naively think it was a small number of people who are inherently selfish but a number of things that have happened in the past few years make me think it’s more like 50/50 of the population. This situation just confirms how many selfish people are out there.

No-one is screaming at others for going to work or going outside for a walk. We’re talking about unessential contact with others.

thefourgp this thread is about Facebook!!

'Judging by this thread there will be a lot of very shocked people out there in 3-4 weeks when things are the same as in Italy. I actually hope people publicly hold them to account for their role in the spread.'

I couldn't agree more ^^