Just realising how selfish and self centred some of my friends are

[thefourgp]

I’m not falling out with anyone but I’m finding that some of the social media posts added by friends/acquaintances have lowered my opinion of them. A few people saying they’re not going to socially distance themselves, still going clothes shopping, going to pubs, letting their kids out to play with other kids etc. There’s also been posts that have shown how caring and thoughtful most of the people I know are too. I just think extreme situations tend to highlight the true nature of a person. Anyone else notice that?

My DH and I are both NHS. We started social distancing as much as we could prior to the restrictions so our children had already been stopped from.going to clubs etc. I have really struggled with some of the language used on social media. Things like the devastation of wasted time at school being one. I get disappointment, fear etc bit this has rubbed off on the kids. This doesn't help prepare them at all for serious life situations. The same group of mums went out for a meal together, I've found it all a bit much and have had to keep quiet.

To be honest, this is one of the things that's making me most sad. My good friend went for her nails done yesterday. She lives at the other end of the country and her dad lives near me and has chronic lung issues. I've been worried for them and offered to doorstep drop anything he needs.
My brother in law took our five year old niece who was ventilated and almost died as a newborn to her gym class two days ago.
Our school parent friends want to organise a group walk with up to six families and numerous children once a week.
My lovely neighbour who would do anything for us went to the pub on Friday night.
I could go on.
These are all people I held in high regard and truly believed they were kind, intelligent human beings.

I agree with this post. I have seen some of my friends in a brand new light too. What I considered to be intelligent people not really getting it all, being very slow to understand how serious this is.

Other friends choosing to leave their children in school in a town rife with CV whilst they had their nails done/hair fixed for the 'easter holidays'. Shallow and selfish doesn't cover it.

I have actually challenged friends on this behaviour, which is unlike me, as I am not a fan of confrontation, but simply asking them why they think it is okay. The answer was it is taking them longer to get to grips with it all.........it is just as well the rest of us have got to grips with it, and are not indulging ourselves in such a way.

I am afraid some of my friendships really not recover, because it has exposed an ugly self indulgence in some people that is difficult to get past once you have seen it.

My sister keeps going in to my parents house, unasked, to take them 'essentials' such as yesterday- a packet of Eccles
Cakes. They have food for about 6 months in that house, (always have had-my mother must have been an unconscious prepper her whole life!),they have the local
Shop delivering fresh stuff to door step. They don't need anything else.
My dad is 90 and has bad COPD. He can't breathe at the best of times.

My sister used to be a nurse and should know better. We are going to fall out about it pretty soon I think.

I've told my mum and dad to stop letting her in-see her through the window from 2m away. They are worried about insulting her by doing that

"A lot of people are not actually that intelligent. They need to be told in very simple terms why this is not okay. But ultimately we need a lock down."

^
This.

I am sitting here in a different country, having been socially distancing myself as much as possible for a while now, absolutely fuming that my husband's colleague just decided to visit unannounced because he's fed up with being locked in at home with the kids. He's just flown back, coughing, from a country which is almost on total lockdown and I cannot believe my husband let him in to the house at all. Normally they stay outside to chat but it's raining so now he's in the office (husband works from home). I cannot believe both of their stupidity and there will be severe words with husband once colleague has left.
H and I are both in the at risk age group.

One friend was so disappointed that we would no longer be doing playdates or having them over for a family lunch, truly she was crestfallen, and I asked her had she seen the news lately, of course we will not be doing any of those things anymore. Her take on it is carry on as normal minus a few dinners out.

These people do not think it is going to happen to 'them', that somehow this awful thing is something happening elsewhere in the world/country, and won't touch their lives.

It is a very dangerous, supremely stupid mindset that is the epitome of selfishness. It is a classic case of thinking it will never happen to me so to hell with it. Until these people (and I refuse to call them friends anymore) are lying in a hospital bed unable to breathe, they won't get it. My 'friend' came off the phone almost confused, even though I patiently explained to her the reasons, and why we as a country should be responding. Total denial and head in the sand.

Of course Daddy needs to go out he will be unbearable otherwise
Of course Mummy needs to go to the hairdressers and meet up with her friends, she will be insufferable otherwise
Of course I need to go to the gym/spa/meet up I have my holiday instagram shots to think about in July.

I can not tell you how revolted I am by these people.

Jai please don't be polite about this - this colleague is putting you both at risk and your DH is being incredibly foolish to go along with it. Colleague needs to leave. Now. Give them a bollocking!

about how the government are taking our freedoms away and that we will have to fight to give them back

I'm pretty sure there's a Facebook group or blog somewhere out there echoing this thought because I've seen posts from 2 separate 'friends' talking about how lockdowns are authoritarian and have no place in a free society. That, alongside 'I won't be a prisoner in my own home'. Can't even make that shit up.

People will realise when they catch it themselves- I’m pretty sure I have and a burning, sore trachea and tight chest is no fun. Sadly there will have been hundreds more die by that point.

London is further ahead of the rest of the UK and the centre was apparently empty yesterday, contrasted with busy northern towns in the news.

Someone I know posted on fb yesterday that she had met up with friends for a walk and kept distance from each other, but then they decided to go back to the one person's garden for drinks. After a few drinks they all went in the hot tub with the kids and posed for photos all over each other. Best of it is loads of people commented "enjoy girls!" Etc. Clowns.

Facebook has always brought out the worst in people. Most don't use it to keep in touch with their 'friends' at all, but to broadcast their opinions and their fantastic (?) life.

@PNomintrude - I'm beginning to fear that H asked was actually stupid enough to ask his colleague over as apparently they have an important conference call in an hour (not the week-end here). H has just put the phone down on me when I lost it with him. Have now lost my voice and worsened sore throat. Idiots.

*H asked was actually stupid enough to ask..

I have stayed off Facebook since this whole thing started, as I could see reams of posts saying “it’s just flu” and I knew if it got worse I would seriously fall out with people. I won’t be going on there again until all this is over. Seeing things like the pictures of all the people who went out drinking `Friday, plastered all over the news annoyed me enough. I wouldn’t be able to keep quiet if it was people I know.

A close friend of mine posted a picture on FB on Friday evening. Herself and a (small-ish) group of friends at her home, having a drinks and tapas gathering. The chairs were apparently spaced a meter apart and she had hashtaged 'social distancing'.
Ok... I thought. Social distancing includes no unnecessary social contact right? Chairs a meter apart?
She's over 60years old. I was judging I admit.

Unfortunately it's going to take 100,000's infected, and many, many thousands dying in each country before its citizens as a whole will wise up. When it gets to the point most people have friends and family members affected medically, and they either snap to it or become a social pariah and shunned. When television and radio is nothing but a roll-call of the rising numbers.

YANBU
My friend is socially distancing. She’s a lovely and kind person. But isn’t a strong enough character to tell her dh and dd to do the same. As a result her dh went to see his brothers plus other family members the last two evenings in a row and some of them still live with his elderly parents. Her tween dd met up with a friend for a walk.

We are self isolating right now as I’m pretty sure I have this. Dh is coughing a bit but no real symptoms. Dd so far is fine. I’m sooo hoping we will have more stringent measures in place by the time we are out - I can come out tomorrow but I’m not over it just yet so will be staying at home...

To the poster who worried about going for a walk, that is fine as long as you keep your distance from others

Extreme situations do highlight a persons character but not on Facebook where there’s a lot of virtue signalling with nothing to back it up.

Maybe if these people had to pay for the cost of being in intensive care on a ventilator they would think differently? I’m not saying that should happen but they are not thinking of the cost of their actions in any way! They complain about losing income but can’t see to see how damaging it might been if they were disabled or died! I am a lone parent. My kids are older teens but if I died, if I was even in hospital long term, life would be very hard for them. So we are isolating and I am trying to live as healthily as I can.

Can I add my parents to the list? Not on FB so nobody knows that my elderly DM went out with one of her friends on Wednesday despite knowing that I am self isolating and working from home because it is THAT serious. We discussed it but then she still met up with another friend on Thursday. That friend often looks after her young grandchildren.

It's only when my teen DC lost their shit with her over Facetime and explained that they were losing a term's education to protect HER, not themselves, that she seemed to start to understand.

But finished the call with "what are we doing on Mother's day then?".

@LINABE it's not just Britain it is everywhere that people aren't complying. Australian people saying how Bondi beach was packed yesterday and Sydney busy as ever. 40000 Italians charged with breaking lockdown. The list goes on. I guess people don't like being told what to do. They are fools. My lovely friend who is a midwife is working so hard and since she knows she has been exposed has to distance herself from her kids, can't see her boyfriend for months, is working all the hours she can. She begged with us to stay inside. Luckily all my friends are decent and thoughtful people and i would tell them where to go if they weren't self isolating/social distancing.

I think the combination of the divide from Brexit plus this will have finished off a lot of friendships. What sad times.

@sunshineandshowers21 thank you for doing that. As a mum of a neonate graduate I too had the stomach lurch. My god- that nurse should actually should be struck off. Despicable behaviour 😔

I'm adding my sister to this. She's child free and goes out with her boyfriend 5 times a week usually with a very busy social life. Lots of drinking and late nights so will find it difficult to stay in I understand, she'll be bored but it's for the greater good.
She is one of the people the pubs/clubs etc needed to close for as she wasn't listening to the advice in that respect.
Stayed in one night then found out a regular place she goes to is opening anyway with the shutter and blinds down for a sort of lock in and went there last night.
There's so much wrong with the whole situation but most importantly is that she lives at home with my at risk mother.
I'm disgusted and told her so, I cannot believe she's put her need to not be bored above everyone's health. The definition of selfish and I don't even want to talk to her anymore.
She isn't young young either- nearly 40.

@ sunshineandshowers21 thank you for doing that. That made my heart jump reading that.