To resent parents who are still sending their kids to school on Monday

[letmeinthroughyourwindow]

Not the genuine cases, obviously.

But I'm a teacher and we will be opening for the duration because 40% of our pupils have at least one parent who is a keyworker.

Before the list was released, the government told us to expect 10% and we planned accordingly. In fact, we planned for 20%.

When the list was released, it was so broad that far more parents than we ever expected fell into one of the categories.

Now, if your need is genuine then of course I want to care for your child. I'm happy to do it, and proud that doing so keeps you working.

But we have so many parents who are allowed to send their child to school, but shouldn't be, that it's infuriating me.

If you are a keyworker but your partner is a stay-at-home parent should you be sending them in?

If you are a keyworker but your partner works from home or is allowed to work from home indefinitely, should you be sending them in?

My sister's employer is allowing all employees who are parents to work from home on full pay, but many are saying that they don't need to, because their partner is a keyworker so their kids can still go to school

Just because you can send them, doesn't mean you should. It shouldn't be the best or easiest option for you, it should be a last resort if there is nowhere else to keep them safe.

The number one, most critical piece of advice for keyworker parents is, 'if it is at all possible for children to be kept at home then they should be.'

Please don't think I'm lazy and cba babysitting these children. I cried when my class went home yesterday, and care about every child in school. If I am in work full time anyway, then it really doesn't matter how many children are in the classroom.

But so many people don't understand social distancing. They are walking around like they are immortal, or only thinking that they themselves will probably be ok if they get it. For social distancing to have the desired effect, then everyone who can be at home, should be. If there was a chance of your child dying from this, would you send them to school? Well then think about who might die because they came into contact with your child.

And all of this brought on by a friend who called me last night to say that she is thrilled to be able to send her child to school on Monday because she is a deliveroo driver, even though her unemployed bf will be home all day on the PlayStation.

I won't be getting home until 5.30, baby naps around 2hrs per day but when is he supposed to eat / pee etc?

The same time single parents pee and eat?

Let's just admit it. You think you need nursery. You think you risking the nursery staff, is non negotiable.

Despite lots of us being in your husbands position and doing it, your husband absolutely can not.

It's actually a case of it's easier for you (as in you and your dh) to send your child to nursery. Your life will change less if your child is at nursery.

You are choosing to your child to nursery

Its absolutely about want not need. You are choosing to put people at risk.

And again.....how will you manage when your nursery is closed?

But he can't look after a baby and do a full day at work on so little sleep he will burn himself out before the end of next week! Totally unrealistic!

He can. He just doesn’t want to. And you are enabling him.

Looking after a baby is very different to a school age child where you can use the TV as a babysitter if needs be. Why is it OK for doctors nurses etc to put themselves at risk? Everyone here expects them to go to work yes? But teachers are the expection why? There's plenty of people putting their necks on the line here.

There also seems to be an awful lot of parents putting their children's neck on the lines here too...

Your children's health and well-being should be paramount right now, which means self isolation.

@BiteyShark I agree vets generally need 24h cover - someone has to do the day time peak hours. Small animal probably has the most doing daytime only, but I suspect a lot more are reliant on older parents for wrap around.

The vast majority of vets are young and single anyway, vet nurses not so much - so the impact would probably be on those who are more experienced but at risk of joining the masses leaving the profession anyway...

But teachers are the expection why? There's plenty of people putting their necks on the line here.

No one, including op said no child should be going.

But the more children go in, the more risk there is. Which will result in them being closed. Therefore, unless its absolutely nessacarily, the children shouldn't go.

Health care workers have to go.....because health care is their job. Teachers ar providing child care to support them.

@fullmoon28 - yes you're right, plenty of people are putting their necks on the line. The difference is that this group of people - children - have been told to isolate. Stay away from school. And their parents are deciding not to stick with that advice. Which will make your job harder, your risk greater. Yes, I am concerned about my child getting this through some snotty nosed kid who's been forced to school because mum or dad can't or won't cope with them whilst they work from home. But that parent's decision will affect you because the infection will spread more, the NHS will be on its knees and very horrible decisions will have to be made about who is helped. No one wants that but the only way to stop it is keep your kids at home even if it's hard. One less kid in a classroom or care room is one less person to pass the virus to. It's not teachers being 'more important'. It's that most teachers can't understand why parents would take that risk with their children when they don't have to. It's hard enough for most parents having to drop their children off - most would love them sitting at home, away from any sort of danger. That's what teachers can't get their heads around.

Would you like me to write him a manual

Someone needs to.

But apparantly is only men that need it.

Women seem to be able to at least try and balance the 2. But men simply cant.

his job involves design so it's sat in front of the computer all day. Not just responding to emails and the like
Great. Baby proof a room and he works in there. Put toys into boxes and rotate the ones available. He can probs work in 20 min bursts. I reckon he could get 2 hours work done.
His work will give him leeway
Good. Find out how much.

but I work 50hrs a week (54hrs every other week) so the reality is he would be up at 6 with the baby
I’m up at 5.45 most days and then teach all day, then look after my kid. Suck it up, buttercup!

as I said baby doesn't stop all day crawling climbing etc so he would be up every 2 minutes removing him from something

See above.

I won't be getting home until 5.30

Request some flexibility.

baby naps around 2hrs per day but when is he supposed to eat / pee etc?
He does 2 hours of solid work. Great! He eats and peas during baby time.

So then at 5.30 he has to do 8hrs

It’s now only 4 hours (probs only 3 because I don’t believe he does 8 solid hours ordinarily, that’s illegal. He must get breaks) I do that most evenings.

*and then have very little sleep and same again?
He’ll be done by 8.30!

His work are very accommodating
Great! Find out how accommodating.

but it's just not possible with an active baby
Yes, it can be in a crisis.

I am enabling him 😂 it's easy to sit behind your computers and think you can do it but I know my baby and nobody is getting a full days work in whilst looking after him.

The government have to draw the line somewhere, unfortunately this measure has been taken so the country can keep running!

Can’tkeepawayforever totally agree!

Parents of children who are neglected/abused most don’t send there children to school so unfortunately that group of children alone won’t be the ones using the school.

This conversation overall has given me the fear! hearing that the teachers are merely there to “watch” the children possibly run rampage and the teachers are to keep “social distancing” when there (understood) however as a parent who has no choice I am no so worried about sending my son back to “school” Monday 😱 what the fuck do I do!!!!

Totally with you. I have friends that have kids with a echp which means they can still go in, and are sending them in even though they really don't need to. 🙄

He can. He just doesn’t want to.

I think this sums it up.

No one is saying WFH with a baby will be easy, but it's definitely do-able. And it doesn't require exposing your child to more risks by sending them to nursery.

stop taking this as a personal attack.

I’m not. I just don’t understand why what pretty much everyone I know is doing right now is so impossible for your DH.

he can't look after a baby and do a full day at work on so little sleep he will burn himself out before the end of next week! Totally unrealistic!

And yet, everyone I know is muddling through in exactly the same circs. It’s very far from ideal, but needs must. To be perfectly honest, you’d be well advised to make a plan for it as I doubt your nursery will be open much longer.

YANBU What's the matter with people?

it's easy to sit behind your computers and think you can do it but I know my baby and nobody is getting a full days work in whilst looking after him.

And its, seemingly, easy for you to put other people at risk.

How do you know what job we do, how are children are or that your husband would find it infinitely harder than us?

But no, we are all trying our best.

We dont need to work 8 hours because the hours we do we can get more in. Some days we do less than normal. Sometimes more. Kids sometime interrupt conference calls morning cause to end or postpone them.

But as it's a pandemic, most people understand that we are all in less than ideal circumstances.

Sorry but if the rest of us can do it. He can at least attempt it

Will it be tiring? Of course

But better tiring that putting someone health and life at risk

Why is it OK for doctors nurses etc to put themselves at risk? Everyone here expects them to go to work yes? But teachers are the expection why? There's plenty of people putting their necks on the line here.
Firstly, signing up to be a teacher is a very different commitment to signing up to being a HCP.

Secondly, teachers aren't moaning about having to work. They just have the audacity to want schools to be as safe as possible during a national crisis.

They want school to be a safe place for those who are vulnerable. They want school to have enough staff in to be able to remain open as increasing numbers of staff end up unwell or have to self isolate due to someone in their family showing symptoms. They can see how parents who don't NEED to send their children in risk spreading the virus to those who are in.

On top of this they're already working by planning and resourcing learning materials for home study, supporting remote learning, providing paper packs for those without internet access at home, putting plans in for vulnerable students on top of teaching on site this week.

Surely it's fairly obvious that when the country is being told to socially distance themselves, having potentially hundreds of people in a building (when other countries have banned social groups in the 10s) is the sort of thing that's likely to increase the risk for everyone involved.

Maybe, they're thinking about the bigger picture more ghan people who think their precious DH couldn't possibly pull his weight during a national crisis by watching his own child for part of the day.

Of course it could just be workshy teachers though. 🙄

And of course, there's also those wonderful things called play pens. You shove a load of toys in it, put baby in and get on with your work. Like thousands of home working parents do every single day. You make sandwiches when you do dinner and put it in the fridge so you can grab and run.

The government have to draw the line somewhere, unfortunately this measure has been taken so the country can keep running!

The line was 'do not send tour kids u less you absolutely must'.

You do not absolutely have to send your children. The government drew the line and you are ignoring it, because your husband will get tired.

Again....what's your plan when your nursery shuts?

but I know my baby and nobody is getting a full days work in whilst looking after him.

It’s like no one else has a nine month old baby

Let alone a nine month old and other children.

He won’t get a full days work in. He’ll have to do what he can and make up the rest later. He’ll also have to think v hard about what’s critical and ignore the rest. And manage his boss’s expectations.

Dawn of course those children are with parents. Usually with help in a lot of situations which they won't be getting right now. In some cases without. They get lots of help during holidays which they won't now.
And yes, it's only 9-3. This is the only time some of these parents will sleep for the next 3-4 months. Not every case is the same but there really truly are some cases where the risks of staying at home everyday probably equal or outweigh those of the virus.

And I say that as someone who is terrified at how much risk I'm facing having to go into school daily.

Of course it could just be workshy teachers though

Stop being so bloody lazy, Lola

I completely agree. Infact it's making me really angry how many people are being so selfish.

Fullmoon Sorry, but you are making excuses. I have a 14 month old. I don't have to keep removing her from anywhere because I've baby proofed the room we are in. Its difficult but not impossible to work around looking after a baby.

And of course, there's also those wonderful things called play pens. You shove a load of toys in it, put baby in and get on with your work. Like thousands of home working parents do every single day. You make sandwiches when you do dinner and put it in the fridge so you can grab and run.

But surely you know that you cannot do this with a penis and a very very important job in Design, don’t you know?

@Fullmoon28 what key work do you do, at the car parts factory that absolutely must be done?

And what will you do when nursery closes?

Either you will need to not go, how will your company cope. Or your dh will have to stop work since he absolutely cant work?