To resent parents who are still sending their kids to school on Monday

[letmeinthroughyourwindow]

Not the genuine cases, obviously.

But I'm a teacher and we will be opening for the duration because 40% of our pupils have at least one parent who is a keyworker.

Before the list was released, the government told us to expect 10% and we planned accordingly. In fact, we planned for 20%.

When the list was released, it was so broad that far more parents than we ever expected fell into one of the categories.

Now, if your need is genuine then of course I want to care for your child. I'm happy to do it, and proud that doing so keeps you working.

But we have so many parents who are allowed to send their child to school, but shouldn't be, that it's infuriating me.

If you are a keyworker but your partner is a stay-at-home parent should you be sending them in?

If you are a keyworker but your partner works from home or is allowed to work from home indefinitely, should you be sending them in?

My sister's employer is allowing all employees who are parents to work from home on full pay, but many are saying that they don't need to, because their partner is a keyworker so their kids can still go to school

Just because you can send them, doesn't mean you should. It shouldn't be the best or easiest option for you, it should be a last resort if there is nowhere else to keep them safe.

The number one, most critical piece of advice for keyworker parents is, 'if it is at all possible for children to be kept at home then they should be.'

Please don't think I'm lazy and cba babysitting these children. I cried when my class went home yesterday, and care about every child in school. If I am in work full time anyway, then it really doesn't matter how many children are in the classroom.

But so many people don't understand social distancing. They are walking around like they are immortal, or only thinking that they themselves will probably be ok if they get it. For social distancing to have the desired effect, then everyone who can be at home, should be. If there was a chance of your child dying from this, would you send them to school? Well then think about who might die because they came into contact with your child.

And all of this brought on by a friend who called me last night to say that she is thrilled to be able to send her child to school on Monday because she is a deliveroo driver, even though her unemployed bf will be home all day on the PlayStation.

@Underhisi

Dawnofanewmillenium the poster who thinks working with toddlers ( even ones with sn) is the same as looking after teenagers with severe learning disabilities and challenging behaviour.

No one, including me, said that. You keep banging on the same straw man over and over and over and over and over again.

I 've asked you - perhaps four or five times now - why you think anyone should be offering free childcare to the multiple people on this thread who are refusing to look after their own children because they have to work from home.

I've asked you, again multiple times, why you think I - a parent working from home with young children - should offer free childcare to another parent in exactly the same position?

Any chance you might answer it, or are you just going to carry on rebutting a point that no one has ever made?

My OH can do his 39hrs whenever. Doesn't get away from the fact that I work 10hr days and get home at 5.30. He would have the baby all day then do an 8hr stint into the early hours, then get up at 6 again with the baby? It's just not going to work. Must be nice to have the option to keep them at home but we can't afford to take 12 weeks unpaid leave! You think we haven't thought of everything? The baby's basic needs come first and they won't be met sufficiently without going into nursery. I am a key worker so chances are I will be exposed just as much as the baby will!

Lots of us are in the same position and having to juggle it.....because we cant afford 12 weeks off. That's the point.

Yes you are a key worker. So at significant risk. The risk is you take it home to your baby, who then takes it to nursery. Nursery then closed because theres no staff.

All because your dh found it a bit too difficult to juggle wfh and childcare.

Funny how women in your dhs position, are able to at least try it.

@LaurieMarlow stop taking this as a personal attack.

@LondonJax you're not the only one putting yourself at risk. When I go to work I am putting myself at risk!

@PertEllaTitsahoy he can complete his hours whenever, we've worked out weekend etc also. But he can't look after a baby and do a full day at work on so little sleep he will burn himself out before the end of next week! Totally unrealistic!

There are plenty of people putting their necks on the line and it's tough unfortunately, these kids need somewhere to go so people like me can do our jobs!

I've just had a conversation with a woman who has just mentioned her dc have both got places at school on Monday and she's thrilled as it was a 'nightmare' trying to work out how they would cope..

She is a senior nurse, specialist area normally in out patients. Doesn't do shift work until moved on to frontline duties last week. Her husband works for a large multinational but 'cant' work from home because the dc would distract him ... (lots of conference calls) .. he is in the leisure industry.

Woman was desperately worried she wouldn't get a place. But as they have (stupidly) allowed places when only one worker is required in order to get a place, she is now sending her 12 & 14 yr old to school on Monday.. 'because we won't cope financially if DH can't work'

I said welcome to the world. Self employed and non essential workers will all be on SSP /UC top up/80% of wages or learning how to cope with their OWN kids whilst speaking on the phone.

It's selfish fuckwits like this who are going to keep this virus spreading. Because THEY think they have more right to earn money than keep the rest of the population safe !

Poor teachers . Risking their health so that some families can keep their income flowing whilst the others sink into debt.

@Underhisi Because it was a wrong example. I'm not interested in the others and have no interest in you helping anyone.

If your child has a legitimate reason to be at school then it wasn't addressed to you.

I was responding to the absolutely fucking ridiculous post by @todayisnottuesday who suggested that anyone who objects to the piss-takers on this thread should offer them free childcare.

It is one of the stupidest things I've ever heard .If you have a child with extreme special needs who legitimately needs to be in school then that particular discussion is not relevant to you.

*We need to go back to the point made upthread that teachers working in these times are doing it at considerable risk to themselves and their families.
*
It's not just teachers, some private nurseries are remaining open for key worker children. Staff have no other option but to go into work, and are also have a much higher risk of catching the virus. Most of them are in low paid jobs, and will only get paid SSP if need to go off sick. Teachers have it bad, but are more protected in terms of job security and wage benefits.

Surely there shouldn't be a need for so many places remaining opening, there should be a few to minimise social contact.

And I don't have the option of WFH

I’m really struggling to understand why people would be sending their children to school right now unless there was absolutely no alternative.

Don’t people understand that, if their DC have more social contact (which includes seeing other children at school), they have more chance of catching Coronavirus and then spreading it to their family and classmates?

I’d really hope that employers would be understanding if working from home wasn’t as productive as normal. This is going to lead to a complete lockdown if too many people are trying to send their kids into school like normal.

And I fully appreciate the risk you take @fullmoon28 but the point is that, if everyone who has someone WFH sends their child into school or nursery, that school or nursery will get more chance of infection. And if there's infection they will have to close - even if it's just for a deep clean. And at that point you'll have no choice.

What happens if you fall ill - as you're more at risk? Your DS won't be allowed into the nursery for 14 days at least and you'll not be in the position to help with childcare. Maybe your DH needs to have a conversation with his employer now as that scenario isn't unimaginable surely? And it's much more likely with you than with me as you quite rightly said. So what's the contingency?

I think there will be a considerable rethink on Tuesday after all the piss takers send their DCs in on Monday.

I'm retired now but there is no way I'd agree to look after the DCs of people working from home. Or men seemingly unable to parent. Or women who don't want to.

Fullmoon So I can do it, thousands of others can do it, but your husband cant because...?

Can he not work and look after the baby at the same time? Naptimes?

I'd be interested in knowing why his employer wont allow any leeway in his working though?

He would have the baby all day then do an 8hr stint into the early hours, then get up at 6 again with the baby?

So?

This is a fucking global emergency

If you have a child with extreme special needs who legitimately needs to be in school then that particular discussion is not relevant to you.

Exactly. All the more reason why kids who could be at home should be at home.

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This is who you are killing. Not frail, elderly people (not that that’s ok.) Someone’s mother. That’s four young people who have lost her. And she will never come back.

I’m really struggling to understand why people would be sending their children to school right now unless there was absolutely no alternative
Because some people are selfish and refuse to understand the difference between can't and won't.

So things would be difficult trying to manage working from home with children around, but despite millions of people in the country accepting these are difficult times and it's not the end of the world to hear a child in the background/it's understood people are having to do their best and might only be 80% productive some days, THEY are different. They COULD do what others are doing and accept it's difficult, but they don't WANT to so if they can find a way to send their children to school then they will (usually with a sly comment about how teachers should suck it up).

It's no different to the thousands of threads on here to the effect of "I've been coughing and don't feel brilliant so am self isolating and off work, but it's getting kinda boring so AIBU to go to the gym / meet a friend for coffee".

Foe every genuine person there's always a piss taker.

Sorry arsed up the link but still clickable.

"No one, including me, said that."

Yes you did. You thought your nursery experience equipped you to deal with aggression from non verbal teenagers although you clearly didn't understand what that could be like.

I haven't at any point said I expected you to offer help to anyone.

All it will take is for one person to go down with the symptoms and the entire group will have to self isolate which will be disastrous. It's much more likely the higher the number of students.

I'm in the fortunate position of not working and having secondary school children.

As an ex teacher in your position I would think that potentially vital workers will suffer as a result of people not taking a sensible approval ie in dire need only.

@PertEllaTitsahoy his job involves design so it's sat in front of the computer all day. Not just responding to emails and the like. His work will give him leeway, but I work 50hrs a week (54hrs every other week) so the reality is he would be up at 6 with the baby, as I said baby doesn't stop all day crawling climbing etc so he would be up every 2 minutes removing him from something. I won't be getting home until 5.30, baby naps around 2hrs per day but when is he supposed to eat / pee etc? So then at 5.30 he has to do 8hrs and then have very little sleep and same again? His work are very accommodating but it's just not possible with an active baby. I'm on mat leave atm and I couldny fit 8hrs of work around it.

But he can't look after a baby and do a full day at work on so little sleep he will burn himself out before the end of next week!

I will say this again, as someone who has worked in a normal corporate office job and has been self-employed at home, 8 "office hours" usually never equates to 8 "home hours".

Is there any particular reason he'd burn himself out? Is he particularly old or unhealthy?

Lots and lots of mums start up businesses while on maternity leave. Lots of mums (including myself) run those businesses from home during school holidays.

I'm genuinely failing to understand why your husband can't get a fucking grip for the sake of a global emergency.

Serious Q: IF children had the same risk of death as the elderly, would you tell me it couldn't be done? Would you be moaning about your "burntout" husband? I very much doubt it, but I'd love for you to come along and correct me.

And if you don't, then you're saying your happy to take risks with the 50yo nursery worker, but not your own child. Are you happy to take the risk with other peoples children? Not all children get over this. Not all young people get over this. Italy's hospitals are full of people in their twenties on ventilators.

Both of us are keyworkers but we work opposite shifts. So my children are staying home. I'm not putting anymore people at additional risk unless I had no choice. Those choosing to who could keep their children at home are plain selfish.

Looking after a baby is very different to a school age child where you can use the TV as a babysitter if needs be. Why is it OK for doctors nurses etc to put themselves at risk? Everyone here expects them to go to work yes? But teachers are the expection why? There's plenty of people putting their necks on the line here.

I'm a key worker we are only sending kids in every other week when we aren't at home for a large percentage of the day.
The opposite I'm. On later shifts so it's not needed as much.
I do think people need to get off people's cases about using school provision.
If we all could lock our doors & stay inside safe we would be. We use it because we have to still go to work.

ScarlettBlaize the example you gave of violent children was very similar to the example I gave of children requiring support from multiple people whose parents were subject to violence at home. I thought you were referring to that example.

Parents in that position of had lots of abuse on social media about there children being in school.

baby naps around 2hrs per day but when is he supposed to eat / pee etc?

Sorry do you actually think you have to explain to us, on mumsnet, what looking after a child consists of?

He's doing design work at a computer -- not brain surgery ffs.

But if you really want an answer, he makes and eats his lunch with the baby. He pees with the baby in a walker at the door or whatever. He works when the baby naps.

Would you like me to write him a manual