To resent parents who are still sending their kids to school on Monday

[letmeinthroughyourwindow]

Not the genuine cases, obviously.

But I'm a teacher and we will be opening for the duration because 40% of our pupils have at least one parent who is a keyworker.

Before the list was released, the government told us to expect 10% and we planned accordingly. In fact, we planned for 20%.

When the list was released, it was so broad that far more parents than we ever expected fell into one of the categories.

Now, if your need is genuine then of course I want to care for your child. I'm happy to do it, and proud that doing so keeps you working.

But we have so many parents who are allowed to send their child to school, but shouldn't be, that it's infuriating me.

If you are a keyworker but your partner is a stay-at-home parent should you be sending them in?

If you are a keyworker but your partner works from home or is allowed to work from home indefinitely, should you be sending them in?

My sister's employer is allowing all employees who are parents to work from home on full pay, but many are saying that they don't need to, because their partner is a keyworker so their kids can still go to school

Just because you can send them, doesn't mean you should. It shouldn't be the best or easiest option for you, it should be a last resort if there is nowhere else to keep them safe.

The number one, most critical piece of advice for keyworker parents is, 'if it is at all possible for children to be kept at home then they should be.'

Please don't think I'm lazy and cba babysitting these children. I cried when my class went home yesterday, and care about every child in school. If I am in work full time anyway, then it really doesn't matter how many children are in the classroom.

But so many people don't understand social distancing. They are walking around like they are immortal, or only thinking that they themselves will probably be ok if they get it. For social distancing to have the desired effect, then everyone who can be at home, should be. If there was a chance of your child dying from this, would you send them to school? Well then think about who might die because they came into contact with your child.

And all of this brought on by a friend who called me last night to say that she is thrilled to be able to send her child to school on Monday because she is a deliveroo driver, even though her unemployed bf will be home all day on the PlayStation.

YANBU

My DC's school specifically stated that in a dual parent family the DC can only come to school if both parents are key workers. Could yours do the same?

I thought the rule was that you either needed to be a lone parent keyworker or both parents were keyworkers? Our school was very clear about that but I thought it came from the government.

My DH is a keyworker. But can work from home. I’m a SAHP. So of course our kids are staying home.
Schools here have been quite clear that you only send your children in if there is ABSOLUTELY NO OTHER OPTION.
Yes. Capitals and bold too.
Anything else is stupid and madness.

Yanbu and thank you for all you are doing.

Government advice was that children could stay in school if one parent was a keyworker.

We expected it to say two, but it didn't.

Schools saying two either sent the info out before the definitive advice arrived, misinterpreted it or have (sensibly) decided to prioritise to keep numbers low.

Schools are expected to ensure there is no alternative.

YANBU it should be both parents key workers and vulnerable children only. Hopefully over the coming weeks checks will be made and those playing the system will be found out.

YADNBU. My husband is a key worker, but I can work from home so am doing so and we are keeping our son home with me. It’s clear sending your child in should be a last resort

I agree with you 100% I could send mine in, but I would never dream of that.

Our schools letter expressed there needed to be no alternative and in a two parent household both have to be key workers.

I think your school needs to reiterate that.

Boggles my mind what people do tbh.

I'm a single parents and a key worker so my youngest will be at school next week. my ex is also a key worker so even if we were still together she would still be at school.

I've heard along the lovely mum grapevine how lucky I am that i can still send her and to be honest i really wish i didnt have to.

i want to stay at home and keep us safe, i dont want her to spend 5 days a week at risk of becoming ill.

YANBU and I agree completely. I was told yesterday that I could ‘technically’ say I’m a keyworker because I work for a utility company... but I’m not the one keeping the lights on - I have a creative role and I can work from home and keep my DD with my husband and I so that’s what we’ll be doing. I didn’t feel comfortable with her continuing in nursery anyway, would rather keep her here where I know her exposure is limited to just her parents. I don’t understand why anyone would want to send their kids to nursery / school if they had any other option!

I don’t get why a parent would want to send their child to school in the current climate unless there really was no alternative but there does appear to be a significant minority of parents who are hunting for any reason to send them in rather than inconveniencing themselves too much

I'm a key worker (not sure why, work in head office of a retailer, possibly because it's a pharmacy chain) but can WFM as can DH, no way would I choose to send DD to school, it's still so risky for everyone involved it should be a last resort.

NBC

I'm so pleased to see that you agree with me.

It's just nice to hear that there are sane, sensible parents out there who are making considerate decisions.

This comes after a day of parents clamouring to get their kids into school just because they're self-employed, or hairdressers, or work for an engineering firm that once made a lift for a hospital. I wish I was joking.

A vet said : I should be on the list. Are you saying my job isn't important? It'll be important when I'm putting your bloody dog down.

On a parenting forum I thought I'd be shot down. Thank you for restoring my faith in people.

Yanbu. My child is actually entitled to go (has an EHCP) and DH and I can both work from home, but we are going to work round it, because, like you say, for social distancing to work, everyone has to put themselves out a bit unless absolutely necessary (lone parent key workers, 2 parents key workers only) otherwise this whole thing is going to last soooo much longer and have much greater repercussions. More people will get ill. More people will die. Stay inside people as much as possible, and that includes all those still going out visiting friends, running unnecessary errands etc.

YANBU. We could send our children to school as my husband is a keyworker but I can work from home and he does shifts anyway and is home some week days so I can go into the office then to pick work up. I won't be sending mine, why risk exposure when you don't need to?

Yanbu. I heard lots of people talking about this at work.

Most departments, at my work, are WFH next week. Lots of people were talking about partners being key workers and that their kids could still go.

However, our dickead employer has told people they can not work from home AND provide childcare. So people who's partners are key workers, but not the higher earner will have to send their kids in. Because if its found out they have their kids at home and their key worker partner is at work, they wont get paid.

Personally, on my team I have said I dont give a shit what they are doing, as long as the work is done. Dont tell anyone wether kids are at home or not, just do the work. If you sre struggling one day, let's know and the team will pull together. There will all be days that we all need help.

I think people working from home, should be allowed to get on with it. If they arent doing the work, that needs tackling individually, whatever the reason is.

But honestly, anyone with a sahp, their kids should have to stay home.

I would also like to see employers providing letters to employees advising that they cant provide childcare and work from home. So where people can work from home and provide childcare, dont have their kids in school.

I do know someone, whose partner is vaguely connected to the food industry who is trying to keep her kids in. She is a sahp. It's not right that all 3 of hers should still go, while she is at home.

Totally agree with you, although you will get many posters who just read your thread title and not your opening post.

Sending a solidarity high five to all of us going in to school on Monday and either leaving our families at home or having to bring in our children with us.

Can’t the school take a harder line? Our primary has made it clear that they will only take kids if 2 parents are key workers, or single parents obviously. If the children can be cared for at home (if one parent is sah or wfh) the kids MUST stay with them. There seems little point to the whole closure otherwise!

YANBU

People need to take more personal responsibility. Unless they do this will go on a lot longer than it needs to. Your friend is being a selfish shit but appreciate it is hard to tell her that.

However, key workers are often the second earners in the family. Asking the main earner to give up/reduce earning to support the lower earner is not great. So I support just one parent needing to be a key worker. But everyone should minimise sending their kids in as much as possible.

Just to add though, I do feel incredibly sorry for all the self employed people who are worried about their livelihood and how they will manage to work, especially with having kids at home. But hopefully the government's new 80% wage policy will help there.

YANBU. Some parents are taking the piss. If the school can't be staffed be sure to send their kids home first.