To resent parents who are still sending their kids to school on Monday

[letmeinthroughyourwindow]

Not the genuine cases, obviously.

But I'm a teacher and we will be opening for the duration because 40% of our pupils have at least one parent who is a keyworker.

Before the list was released, the government told us to expect 10% and we planned accordingly. In fact, we planned for 20%.

When the list was released, it was so broad that far more parents than we ever expected fell into one of the categories.

Now, if your need is genuine then of course I want to care for your child. I'm happy to do it, and proud that doing so keeps you working.

But we have so many parents who are allowed to send their child to school, but shouldn't be, that it's infuriating me.

If you are a keyworker but your partner is a stay-at-home parent should you be sending them in?

If you are a keyworker but your partner works from home or is allowed to work from home indefinitely, should you be sending them in?

My sister's employer is allowing all employees who are parents to work from home on full pay, but many are saying that they don't need to, because their partner is a keyworker so their kids can still go to school

Just because you can send them, doesn't mean you should. It shouldn't be the best or easiest option for you, it should be a last resort if there is nowhere else to keep them safe.

The number one, most critical piece of advice for keyworker parents is, 'if it is at all possible for children to be kept at home then they should be.'

Please don't think I'm lazy and cba babysitting these children. I cried when my class went home yesterday, and care about every child in school. If I am in work full time anyway, then it really doesn't matter how many children are in the classroom.

But so many people don't understand social distancing. They are walking around like they are immortal, or only thinking that they themselves will probably be ok if they get it. For social distancing to have the desired effect, then everyone who can be at home, should be. If there was a chance of your child dying from this, would you send them to school? Well then think about who might die because they came into contact with your child.

And all of this brought on by a friend who called me last night to say that she is thrilled to be able to send her child to school on Monday because she is a deliveroo driver, even though her unemployed bf will be home all day on the PlayStation.

It’s a bloody shambles and a real insight to people thinking this is not a serious situation. My son has an EHCP and I’m doing my best to support him at home for 2 days and school for 3 days. I have another 2 that I will keep at home. If your husband is a doctor and you are a SAHM, you should not be sending your children to school.

I'm in exactly the same position as you @JustbeNormal but my kids are 6 and 4 and are both at school. My husband is WFH but can't do conference calls all day while looking after the children FT. I'm a teacher and have been asked to go up to full time to cover for staff absence.

I'm really happy to work and help and do everything I can but I'm really torn about my own children. If I could maintain my normal hours it would be fine as my husband could front load his work for days that I have the children. If we could both WFH home it would be fine because we could share between us.

Do I send them to their own (separate) schools? Do I take them to my school so there is only one place of exposure for our family? Do I send them in just a couple of days a week? Do I keep them completely at home which means my husband can't work or they can't learn? It's going to be so long term, schools have been asked to work through Easter and I'm imagining the same will happen in the summer.

Again, I'm more than happy to work, more than happy to make sacrifices but it's all such an unknown!

I dont work, I am disabled, my partner is not a key worker, but needs to keep working and quite frankly I would do anything to kept me son in his school.

But that's what OP is saying. Whilst people are taking the piss, people like you are at more risk. Because the schools could end up closing completely, should ten iris spread round the school or the teachers get sick.

The less people in, the less chance of this happening.

That's what OP is saying, if you absolutely dont have to send your kids, dont. So that its safe for the teachers and children who do have to go.

@letmeinthroughyourwindow our school are prioritising the vulnerable category over keyworkers

YANBU.

One of the mums in my kids class, does not work, partner is key worker who is able to work from home, so she will be sending her kids to school "so I can get a nap in the day still" it boils my blood how people can be so selfish.

I work in a sen school have a child with severe sen and a Nt child.
My husband is also a key worker. And no family to help.
I have to go to work and my kids have to go to school. I want to keep them home and keep them safe but I can't because I'm going in to look after other people's children.
Now that's fine if there actually needed as key workers and no other choice.
But the ones just sending them in because you can plz don't your putting you kids the staff and other children in danger for no reason.
This is scary times and if people abuse it the schools will just end up on total lockdown

Showme can you tell your friend bluntly what she is contributing to in higher deaths?

Our school has said both parents need to be key workers. There's already a mum kicking off on the class WhatsApp group because the gov said one key worker and her DH is self employed. I have a little sympathy but the schools will not have the staff if they have to take from families with only one key worker. He's a joiner, I'm guessing that his work will be drying up anyway, I am certainly not going to be inviting tradespeople into my house in the next few months.

In dd's class (26) there's two who have both parents on the list. Expand it to one and it's 6. That level of increase can't be accommodated.

"YANBU a couple who we are very good friends with both have admin roles in the NHS. They are both working from home but are sending their kids to school. They told us they're hardly doing any work and theyre laughing about their kid free days ahead."

It's terrible isn't it. These are the types of people I'm talking about. I hope it is only them who will ultimately suffer for it, but it won't be unfortunately.

I hope afterwards, when all of this is behind us, we are able to clearly see the people who made good, selfless choices, and those who did not. I wouldn't want to be known as someone who endangered others.

ukgift2016 - I’m not lazy, in the slightest. I’m worried.

I’m worried for myself. I’m worried that I’m needlessly exposing myself to this virus five days a week when this isn’t necessary. Our school has a handful of children in (secondary) and I’m mystified as to why. Because of these ten children, the whole staff have to come in. It only takes one of us to get ill and then we are all at risk - and our families and friends.

I’m worried about the children. We know nothing about this virus and appearing to be fine doesn’t mean being fine, as any pregnant woman who has had German measles will tell you.

I also feel on a slightly less dramatic basis it must be fucking horrible for them. I can’t imagine being 15 and forced to wear a uniform and come in to hang around teachers all day when your mates are off. How did you spend the summer of 2020 - my mum made me go in and talk to teachers. Awful.

YANBU. I am shocked that children with an EHCP are being allowed in too. WTAF? I have a child with an EHCP who goes to a special school - he is actually more vulnerable because if he did get it, he wouldn't comply with any of the treatment and would have to be put under. He also goes to school with other children who have health conditions and need protecting.

People who are genuine frontline workers would love to be able to stay home with their kids and keep them safe for this terrifying virus. Why others are choosing to send in kids when they don't need to is utterly beyond me.

DonkeyKong2019 is there a way you could avoid this? SEN are on the vulnerable list and should be socially distancing for 12 weeks. Can she really not stay home?

There are lots of vital services. If they were all on the list we'd be opening to 80% instead of 40% and then what's the point of social distancing at all? You sound incredibly pompous. Anyway none of our vets will be sending their children to your school or abusing any services. They're practical, decent people.

I can really sympathise with what you're saying OP, but I also have some sympathy with people trying to WFH. My DH is WFH and he's basically shut in his study for 8 hours a day. He's on on calls for long periods of time and is completely unable to do childcare or home schooling. It's a good thing I'm a PT student and SAHP, because if I worked in a non-key worker role we'd in a right fucking mess with a 12 and 8 year old who will both need help and supervision to do home schooling. When people cannot ask grandparents to help, their usual fall-back childcare, many are left without any safety net for childcare. There will, of course, be people who swing the lead and it's up to schools to weed those people out, but for some families the fact that one is a key worker means they can struggle through this time of crisis without losing their job(s).

I work in an essential service, frontline, absolutely essential. DP is wfh at my house to look after my son (not his).

The list is too vague and too widespread. People will take the piss. I think if schools have the power to do so they absolutely should impose further restrictions - especially for those who have one parent still at home.

And now, some of the same parents who are taking the absolute piss out of the school are sharing those 'we stayed at work for you, you stay at home for us' memes on social media! Bellends!

I will have to send mine into school I don’t want to - my function does contribute to the control of this pandemic (council worker public health function) but I could do it from home IF our organisation had had been quicker sorting out IT access from home. We are still weeks away from key staff having full home access.
Husband is a key worker also.
We have looked at whether we can do it in turns I do earlier shifts him later to we need to both make contact with vulnerable people and usual daytime hours are more appropriate than calling someone at 7.30am etc. I feel almost guilty for sending my children in but work have been very clear it’s bums in the office until home IT sorted the job still needs doing.

I posted this on another thread.

As a teacher, I am going to be working on the assumption that at least one person in the room is a presymptomatic carrier. In order to minimise risk for everyone involved, I will be doing my best to encourage the children I am caring for to do the same (secondary, not primary). This is frightening, but there is no point sugar coating it, or telling me I am scare mongering, because it is the reality of the situation. Sometimes the right action to protect people is telling them they should be frightened, not that everything is going to be fine, wash your hands and carry on.

Children in this new daycare setting should ideally be in well ventilated rooms, 2m apart, and wearing masks.

They will not be.

This should be an absolute last resort, for children who are safer being in a room with infected people than being left unattended alone.

If neither of those solutions sound acceptable to you, and you have an alternative option, I strongly suggest you take it.

I know I am the voice of doom. I have been since the beginning of february. I am sorry to be scary and depressing.

I wish I was wrong. I really do.

We're not moaning. The heads in our MAT have given us the choice to come in or not, if we choose not to then we will close our school and not provide childcare, like Italy and China. Our head cares about us.

The majority (95%) of our teachers and support staff are coming in when needed. We don't want to, we want to stay at home safe with our families, but like all other 'Key workers' we feel morally obliged to get out there and do our bit.

So, if your partner is WFH and can't look after the kids while you go and do your front line job, tough, he doesn't work - if he loses pay, his job .. TOUGH! If your partner is a painter and decorator - then he cancels his jobs so he can look after the kids.

This is life or fucking death. I'm not risking mine, or my families life to keep a roof over your head. I'll risk my life to enable you to keep the country afloat over the coming months.

People's safety trumps financial hardship or inconvenience.

And, yes I care about your children, I'll look after your children over Easter, even summer if necessary.

The next few months are going to be intolerable for the majority of us.

Not at all unreasonable

"You sound incredibly pompous. Anyway none of our vets will be sending their children to your school or abusing any services. They're practical, decent people."

Haha you sound a bit like the vet roaring at me on the phone.

Look, just because one vet was rude to me doesn't mean I'm cross with all of them.

Just pointing out the very obvious - the keyworker list has got to cut off someone.

How are people going to work from home at the same time as look after/educate their children?

Well, shitloads of us who wouldn't have access to school or childcare places even if we wanted them are going to have to attempt just that. It's likely to involve a fair amount of electronic babysitting and doing work at unusual times. I wake early so I think I will do maybe 6.30 to 9 each morning, for example.

And for roles where the person is wfh without the ability to be flexible with timing, there's no other childcare available to them and it's impossible to combine the two, which is probably a minority of those wfh, what will happen is that the work won't get done and some people might lose their jobs.

Re vets, I was surprised there was no provision for vets working in agricultural areas to be considered key workers. It's essentially food industry.

YANBU. I am a TA and my husband is a teacher. I have been in tears over the fact that I will have to send my kids in. If one of us could work from home then there is no way they would go in. If we end up doing shift work mine will only come in with me for the shifts I am in. I wish I could stay at home and home school them and keep them safe. I have actually been wondering if I am being selfish to not give up my job so that they don't have to go in - someone suggested that to me. But we would struggle massively on one wage and my husbands job (he is main breadwinner) is not currently safe as his is a private education provider. He won't be doing shift work either as there are only two teachers there. Boggles my mind that people who have someone at home would even think of doing this. X

I think there's a degree of entitlement going on around these keyworker places.
I agree that just because you can, doesn't mean you should.
My dickhead ex has applied for a place for our DD as he is a keyworker but he is an absent parent and lives 400 miles away.
I can wfh - and for all those who're saying their DH's can't manage their conference calls etc - they should bloody well try harder - use screens if they have to, bribe with treats - how do they think the rest of us do it?

My child is 15 but has mental health problems, she is under CAMHS and on both their advice and the advice of the school she will be going into school, I will still be going out to work and I just won’t leave her for long stretches on her own, I will be working from home when I can and taking leave and at those points she will stay home, it’s not always clear cut.