Please help I don't think I can do this

[Coronacantcope]

I'm self isolating with DD 11mo because I have a cough. Dp was away when it came on and is in a vulnerable group so he is staying away for 14 days. We'll continue to isolate as a family when he comes back.

I'm 2 days in and I'm not coping at all. We're usually really busy, out at groups, cafes, seeing friends etc. It's been the longest 2 days of my life. DD is usually a happy baby but she's bored, fussy. She won't watch TV. Her attention span for anything - watching chores, toys, - is about 5 minutes. She cries if I speak to anyone on the phone.

The final straw is she woke at 3am, wide awake and giggling. I've not been able to get her anywhere near back to sleep. I'm exhausted and I can't face the prospect of another long day alone. I just lost my temper and shouted at her then had to take myself into another room for a long cry. I could hear her crying her eyes out. We've never been like this. What on earth am I going to do. I can't stop crying and I don't think I can do this.

Hi I can’t sleep and I just saw this post. I remember those days of having babies and feeling overwhelmed and tired and I’m trying to imagine that feeling whilst in the midst of the current situation.

Having a cry I find helps. I don’t really have any advice but wanted to reply. Things will be so much better when your DP is back, hang onto that thought. One day at a time, try not to think too far ahead.

We’re living in unusual times. You can do it.
Get a cup of tea.

Go back to your dd. Have a cuddle.
When you have some time make yourself a plan of how to fill your days.
Little jobs that she can either watch or help you do.
Simple rhyming games and singing. Stories.
It will be tough and quite wearing but you’ll get there.
If you need to use the phone just pop her in her cot for 5 minutes and go into another room. Both my dc played up when I was on the phone but I still used it.
Look at the bigger picture. This will pass.

I'm sure you're exhausted. I can't sleep either - bit of a worrier - and saw your message. Don't beat yourself up and don't think you're the only one who isn't managing everything perfectly. Your baby is normally happy and even giggling - there's a bit of comfort in that. Hopefully you're both physically well. This crisis will pass. Hang in there!!

I don't think you're alone OP. I don't know your circumstances but I can imagine it's a nightmare. DH should be with you. At least. Are there local groups online in the same situation and supporting each other? Please try to find support 😢

Do you have a garden or any outside space you can use? X

Lying in bed thinking very similar thoughts op. I really feel for you. This is the hardest thing many of us have had to do. Humans are very good at adjusting eventually. It's still a horrible shock. Find as many online people with babies as you can do you feel less alone. Sending you so much love. This is shit but it is temporary shit.

You say it will pass but it's the prospect of months of this that I can't face. She'll be 14 months old by the time this is over and that's optimistic. It's a whole chunk of her life, it breaks my heart

Op we’re all here for you even if it’s only online. You need to cry, it’s not good to hold it in, but you obviously love your daughter as well. Is there a chance you could be suffering from post natal depression? This can be delayed and come on in times on stress. Is there anyone locally who can help with a little childcare to give you a break?

Do you already have a "busy box" - fill a container with safe random objects that can be explored. A spatula and a saucepan lid. Empty cotton reels and an empty shampoo bottle. Just random bits of junk that are clean and can't be destroyed by chewing.

It is OK not to be textbook supermum. You do not need to get through this with a cheery smile and no mistakes - having a low point like this doesn't make you a bad parent, just human, and you can forgive yourself for being human. You will get through this.

Frenchwife has given good advice. Have a cry and get it all out first then do your plan. Are you in contact with the groups? If so see if you can arrange a time to Skype or FaceTime and hold a regular ‘meeting’ . You can prop phone/tablet up and have your hand free to deal with her. That goes for regular phone calls too if you have something that has a speaker phone use that.

@Coronacantcope it is a big chunk of her life but it’s also one she won’t remember. So now this is about you, what do you need to get through this for her? What can we do to help you?

Sympathies OP, I’m in a similar situation at home with a 9 month old but do have DH here, although he’s working for most of the day. It’s really tough isn’t it, especially if you are used to getting out and about most days. I think it’s a difficult adjustment for the babies too, DD has generally been unhappy and fussy for the past few days which has also led to lots of broken sleep and a 4am wake up call! The days feel very long don’t they, constantly searching for something new to entertain them.

I think for me the lack of structure is the most difficult part so I’m going to try to build that in by scheduling in some online baby classes (there are tons of these on Facebook now every day). I’m going to make a big list of different games and activities to play with her so I don’t get stuck for ideas. I’m going to find some isolated places to drive to to get out for a walk with her. I’m also probably going to rely on screens for part of the day, I hate having to do that but can’t entertain her constantly, it’s exhausting. But mainly, I’m just going to try to be positive (or at least pretend as much as possible), I think my despair the past few days has really affected her mood.

Good luck OP, sending strength for the next few months. I hope you (and I) can find a way to make this a positive time for our children and to enjoy our time spent with them.

Lots of bantu groups have gone online on Facebook live etc. Could you try some of those??

Baby groups!*

It's so hard isn't it. I read some advice yesterday that resonated with me - If you have a cranky child then get them in water, or get them outside. So stick her in the bath with some toys at any time of day, or on a blanket in the garden (weather permitting).

Do you have a back garden?

Don’t think too far ahead. One day at a time.

Hi OP, my little boy is also 11 months old and yesterday was tough. I did take him out in the garden and we played a lot in the bath (I agree very much with the previous posters tip about putting them in water!)
It's so hard to keep the entertained! I did find that he loves the vacuum cleaner, what does your LO like?

Try the fb Page family Lockdown tips and ideas.
There’s people streaming classes such as baby yoga, singalong, music classes.

You can go for a walk as long as you go somewhere quiet and keep well away from others. A long walk in the pram, change of scenery and some fresh air will help break the day up and be good for your mental health too. Stay strong

If you really do think you can’t cope though please do ask for help via social services or 111 though

Mine loved the kitchen pots and pans at that age - with a wooden spoon.

There's lots of ideas online for busy boxes as someone said.

I feel so much for you OP but you will get through this. And you'll still have a young child to get out and do things with.

Keep talking.

Wow I can relate to this,. you just got to keep going. But it's hard and there's no online support that I know of.

You can go in the garden.
At 11months she should still be napping so use that time to de-stress.

Bless you op that is tough. Do you have audible or something you can listen to to distract yourself? That helps me anyway