Please help I don't think I can do this

[Coronacantcope]

I'm self isolating with DD 11mo because I have a cough. Dp was away when it came on and is in a vulnerable group so he is staying away for 14 days. We'll continue to isolate as a family when he comes back.

I'm 2 days in and I'm not coping at all. We're usually really busy, out at groups, cafes, seeing friends etc. It's been the longest 2 days of my life. DD is usually a happy baby but she's bored, fussy. She won't watch TV. Her attention span for anything - watching chores, toys, - is about 5 minutes. She cries if I speak to anyone on the phone.

The final straw is she woke at 3am, wide awake and giggling. I've not been able to get her anywhere near back to sleep. I'm exhausted and I can't face the prospect of another long day alone. I just lost my temper and shouted at her then had to take myself into another room for a long cry. I could hear her crying her eyes out. We've never been like this. What on earth am I going to do. I can't stop crying and I don't think I can do this.

Our self isolation procedure in NZ is that you can still get out for a walk, drive etc but just don't engage anyone close.

Are you able to order seedlings on line for delivery to home? Do a bit of gardening and take out the frustration on the weeds?

What about subscribing to something that sells ebooks on line? Are you on online for subscription to disney + etc? Or have family that can share theirs with you?

This is all about you OP because she will not remember this.

Break the day into little chunks. Be kind to yourself. Try to keep in touch with friends and family as much as possible.

Cry and cry if that's what your need. This is shit but it WILL pass x

You can use your garden, if you have one. You can also leave the house to exercise – but stay at least 2 metres away from other people.

This is from the NHS site,advice on staying at home if you are symptomatic.
So,yes - OP can walk.

No advise but I spent most of yesterday crying. Feeling absolute dread over this. You’re not alone.

You're not alone OP. My baby is much younger, only 2.5 weeks old, but my husband is a teacher and is likely going to have to teach/babysit kids in school for he foreseeable future and throughout the school holidays too. The prospect of being on my own with a young baby, not being able to go out to socialize with other mums and babies for some sanity, and my DH not having any time off to support us is terrifying and I've been crying a lot. Sending hugs.

Sending unmumsnetty hugs OP. I completely understand - my twins are much older (3.5) but both are autistic and don’t really play. Maybe a few minutes here and there if we are lucky. Spent most of yesterday watching end credits of films because that’s the only thing that calms them down. I’m really struggling too. They are also terrible sleepers (the 3am giggle fest is a regular feature here) so I’m exhausted and so are they (not a good combo).

I wish I could do something to help. It’s awful feeling like this.

Have you tried all the CBeebies shows? At that age my two loved Twirlywoos and would giggle at it, also started to like things like Hey Duggee. If not, try searching on YouTube for videos for babies - I remember some which were high contrast with classical music which they liked. If you can just get 20-30 mins of peace then it helps.

Hang in there

You can go for a walk if you are away from others. If she gets up really early go then? When no one is about

Sending a big hug

Do you have any craft bits you can do with her OP? Painting or crayoning? I agree to try and make a little plan for each day so, say you’re usually up with her at 6am:
6am drink/Breakfast
7am walk around the block (depending on where you live - I’ve been running through local woodland at 6am every morning - it’s deserted) or could you drive somewhere quiet?
9am bath or play with toys in water
10am Reading/drawing time
11am tv / iPad
12 lunch (get her to “help” you make it with plastic cutlery plate etc)
And so on... just ideas but my thinking is a written down plan will
make you feel more in control and give you something to refer to. There are loads of ideas online for things to do with each age group.

The main thing is to talk to your daughter. You are her only communication at the moment and she will pick up on your sadness/despair. Please try to fake being happy even if you don’t feel it, for her sake. By all means go into the other room for a cry. But be as bright and happy with her as you can.

I know this is hard (I have 4 dc’s in isolation and this is going to get much much harder before it gets better). Your dh will be home soon and that will relieve the pressure immensely. Stay strong OP - you’ll get through it.
It helps me to think of all the frontline nhs staff having to go and do 12 hour shifts at the moment with coronavirus patients. My dsis is one of them. I feel very lucky in comparison.

I'm not in your position and I'm struggling. It's only me to deal with, too.

I think the reason we're panicking is because we're looking ahead - and the thought is crushing. I'm struggling to remain in the day, just this day, this hour. But that's where the peace is. As others are saying, we don't know what's ahead anyway. We really don't.

I feel for you. I remember well the early years with my kids, how hard it was sometimes. Try to stay in the day op. Refuse to look ahead, or to listen to the endless doom on the news.

Thinking of you and sending you love and strength

I think there are some programs for older babies on youtube -it was on News last night showing babies sitting with wooden cooking spoons following a singing routine - waving their spoons around - it was about about how to entertain younger children.

OP you have to do this ..you can and you will..go give your little one a cuddle and have a cuppa ...then why not jump in the bath together and play...it will pass on some time and relax you both...sleep when you both can and fresh air will help too if you have a garden or park nearby.

My little one is 8 months and I'm on day 3 isolation. We are fine just her immune system is low at the minute. And I'm feeling emotional!! You are not alone. She wants to be constantly with me. But at least at 6 my partner is home (he works away from people anyway) I really feel for you. I couldn't do 14 days on my own 24/7 . Stay strong and facetime!!.

Go out for a very long walk n the morning and then in the afternoon. Just don't get close to anyone else whilst doing it.

I feel your pain, I’m at home with a 2.5 year old and 8 month old, the older one was in nursery 2 days a week which was really helpful as he’s not quite into sharing just yet.

Get out the house when you can, rely on TV a bit.

Get a flip chart - lots of scope for some messy painting
Light up sensory balls for the bath/water play
Bubbles
Emergency blankets are always a hit with babies
Pots/pans/Tupperware/wooden spoons
Lots of things you can utilise around the home for play opportunities
Get on Instagram some people post some inexpensive play ideas and Pinterest too - they don’t have to be complicated or fancy

We are going to be in this for the long haul, picking up ideas now they’ll become second nature it’s just getting used to a new normal. It’s going to be tough, but we’ll look back hopefully this time next year with our health in tact and wonder how we did it. But we will we have no other options.

Keep talking to people this is a massive change to what we are used too, I think that’s the battle to win in our minds. And also be kind to yourself these are tough times x

Oh how could I forget - does she like songs? If so, look up singing hands on YouTube! Lots of nursery rhymes with signing, really good for little ones

Op it's hard and I think some people might consider what I'm about to say as being harsh but for goodness sake - older generations went to war to keep this country safe. All you've got to do is sit at home and entertain your baby for a few weeks. It's hard yes, but it's nothing in the grand scheme of things. You really need to get a grip. People's lives are at stake

That doesn't help, skeeter

I've just realised how difficult it must be isolating when you have a child so young you can't communicate with them or tell them to do something and they do it, or get them helping It's hard enough with two hyper, outdoorsy boys - 3&7 who, when made to stay in, fight and nag for snacks every 5 seconds (they don't like TV either) but at least I can make timetables, get work books for their ages (tracing for 3yo), separate them regularly and try and stick to a routine.

I've found amazing FB groups set up with ideas for children of all ages so I'd definitely try there. I came off FB but I think social media is important for support now. I'd find a baby group on there and share ideas etc. There will be TONS of ideas of what you can do with her.
Sending hugs x

@Skeeter2020 ODFOD. OP wouldn’t have been going to war would she, she would have been at home with her baby like she is now without her DH and struggling to cope. Taking care of a small child when you’re ill I hard at the best of times, let alone with all the anxiety of this situation. What a nasty comment to make. Do you feel better now?

Skeeter isolation is used as punishment for a reason. People aren't used to it. Kids will cry and fight. Our mental health will suffer. It's incredibly hard and stressful.

stray it really is so hard - my twins don’t understand anything and don’t play, aren’t interested in anything (one has more interests than the other but very repetitive play which he bores of quickly). It’s absolutely exhausting. I would love to be able to get them involved in things or give them activities!

Yes I do feel better actually @SinkGirl, I think it needs to be said. It's such a minor sacrifice to have to make for the preservation of human life. People moaning about this seems unfathomable to me and every other healthcare worker. If you really want see something to moan about go and walk onto any ICU in this country and see what the people incubated and the staff looking after them are faced with. Then go home to your healthy baby in your safe home space and tell us again what there is to moan about

@Straycatstrut I don't think being in the comfort of your own home with access to the television, phone, Internet and so on is quite comparable with the use of isolation as a punishment

People moaning about this seems unfathomable to me and every other healthcare worker.

You’re wrong there. Not every healthcare worker shares your view because many of us who work with patients understand that you don’t have to be in the worst imaginable situation to be struggling, or to express that you are struggling. In fact, most have more empathy than you’re displaying here, and thank goodness for that.

I have a harder situation than some, and not as hard as others. I don’t go around telling people who objectively have less worries that they have no right to be struggling. Kicking someone when they are down is not a pleasant trait, and definitely not in a healthcare worker.

I work with pregnant women and new mums who struggle at the best of times. We spent months in nicu and have twins with disabilities, and I would lose my job if I ever dared tell these women that they have nothing to complain about and it could be worse. What a vile attitude to have.

Are you a healthcare worker, Skeeter?