Please help I don't think I can do this

[Coronacantcope]

I'm self isolating with DD 11mo because I have a cough. Dp was away when it came on and is in a vulnerable group so he is staying away for 14 days. We'll continue to isolate as a family when he comes back.

I'm 2 days in and I'm not coping at all. We're usually really busy, out at groups, cafes, seeing friends etc. It's been the longest 2 days of my life. DD is usually a happy baby but she's bored, fussy. She won't watch TV. Her attention span for anything - watching chores, toys, - is about 5 minutes. She cries if I speak to anyone on the phone.

The final straw is she woke at 3am, wide awake and giggling. I've not been able to get her anywhere near back to sleep. I'm exhausted and I can't face the prospect of another long day alone. I just lost my temper and shouted at her then had to take myself into another room for a long cry. I could hear her crying her eyes out. We've never been like this. What on earth am I going to do. I can't stop crying and I don't think I can do this.

Keep talking.

Yup. Listen to that advice.

Keep this thread going and talk to people. Come back to it every time you feel pissed off, bored or overwhelmed.

Definitely go out for a walk.
If you time it you could have a morning walk and an afternoon walk.
The weather is improving and the days drawing out
I remember when dd was 11 months(she's 29 now) those walks kept me sane.
She often fell asleep lol
Walking produces endophins and keeps you in shape.

Yes to the walks! You're allowed out for walks so if you're up for that do that. Also there is a great show on CBeebies called the baby club. It's basically a baby club and you join in for home with the singing etc. I believe BBC is working hard on programmes to help kids in isolation and I'm sure this includes infants.

Do you have lots of friends of what's app? I've found that's been getting me through as I've been isolating for 9 days.

It's ok to lose your head sometimes. You're human. We all do!

At these times it's very easy to feel like the world is against you, but just remember it's against us all. All kids are missing out for the next few months and we have to help each other through it.

We are on day 8 of 14 day isolation with two pre schoolers, one of whom has additional needs and is starting to really struggle with the lack of input from his nursery 1:1. Just wanted to say that I felt like you on day 2/3. So low I couldn’t stop crying. But actually now we’ve got into a rhythm - we have a loose schedule for the day get outside in the garden every day. I’m almost enjoying it now! We pop out in the car and they sleep, I listen to podcast or music. It will start to get easier I am sure. I felt like you though I couldn’t see any positives.

OP said she was self isolating because she has a cough, so walks are out.
Sorry OP, I haven't got any advice, except to say your baby will be fine. She wants and needs you, not groups and cafes. This time together will strengthen your bond.

What do you normally do at baby groups?
I am keeping structure for my DD and DN. So we will start off the day with some nursery rhymes, then some baby yoga, then story time, then some sensory play. Then we will go through colours or animals. Then mid morning snack, then nap time if possible. Then they have 20 minutes of telly time and some free play then lunch, then story, nap. Then what you could do since you can't go out is some arts and crafts. Make some Easter pictures let her get all messy and then have some water play in the bath tub. Or both go in the garden. Then chill out time which is mummy's time put her down get your ration of wine and put the telly on or the radio or video call your husband.
Women coped through the war with kids and back then people had like 8 kids to entertain. You got this.

You can go out for a walk OP, I've just been putting scarf around my face and wearing gloves. Take her for a walk to wear her out x

Walks are not out, the advice is that you can leave the house for exercise but to stay 2m away from other people. Are you in a rural or an urban area OP? Is this going to be possible?

YY to online baby groups etc. And make use of WhatsApp to contact others for some grown up conversation.

Good luck, it must be unimaginatively tough. But you'll get there. 💪

@Mitzdob
Even a 20 mins walk will blow away the cob Webs.
Wrap up and stay away from people. Our cave man body needs exercise.

OP you have my sympathy. You are effectively in solitary confinement with your baby.
Different circumstances but I've never forgotten how hard it was to be home alone with a tiny baby when DH was working away from home.

Many other people will be in the same position. You have access to Skype and other face to face social media.
Get some structure in your day do a couple of half hour Skype calls a day, virtual baby group, sing, dance, read stories, even just let the babies watch each other.

BTW its completely ok to put baby in the cot and go for a cry when your feeling overwhelmed.

Forget about strict routines, there’s no need to get her back to bed when there is nothing fixed on the next day. And do not aim to keep her entertained all the time, kids like his parents need to get used to the idea that this is not a rainy weekend when they have to have a lot of fun indoors.

Get her “to help” you while you are doing stuff like cooking or cleaning, she can badly wash a potato or help you to sort cutlery after washing. Ask her to help you dust the floor by sliding around on her socks. Sleep when she sleeps, whatever that time is, and don’t feel guilty about locking yourself in the bathroom or putting her in her cot to cry it out because it is much better for a mum to have a few minutes away to calm down than loosing her rag for trying too hard.

You can go for a walk in the pushchair somehere quiet And avoid people . Get an iPad if necc !

Try not to trouble yourself with the future. Things are changing day by day. You're far from the only one feeling this way. We'll find ways round things. Don't forget this is new to your little one too. Nobody likes change. She may well be much more settled very soon, once she gets a bit more used to being home.

Will people please stop recommending OP goes for walks?
The OP has symptoms ie a cough therefore she must stay indoors.

It's bloody awful. I'm at home with three kids under five and I'm going mental already. DH has been told to work from home (he's got asthma so social distancing) but it's impossible, we have small house and no spare room or anywhere that he can get away from the kids. I'm doing my best to give him peace but am a bit run ragged.

My eldest is 4 so watch a bit of tv but the others don't and everyone is miserable really!

No help OP but a hand hold.

Really tough OP
Don’t beat yourself up

Get out . There is NO reason why you can get her in a buggy and do long distancing walks am and pm

Have a schedule , and walk everywhere

It’s so hard , and whilst mine are killing me they do at least entertain themselves

Exercise , routine , one day at a time

You will cope because you have to. Something I told myself regularly with 2 under 2 and a partner who worked away. You can do this. Just believe that. Don't give up. It will get better

Here is the official advice from the government website. No one is allowed out for walks if they have symptoms. You must stay at home.

if you live alone and you have symptoms of coronavirus illness (COVID-19), however mild, stay at home for 7 days from when your symptoms started.

She won’t remember any of this, and as she’s growing up she will love to hear stories about the great Covid disaster of the 20’s.

Dd is 3, and we’re still getting out into open spaces like the woods and heath near our house. But I am finding the constant information and the worry very overwhelming.

This WILL pass. Not for months, maybe not even years, but we will get through it somehow. I know it’s not much comfort when you’re sleep deprived and stressed, but we’ve just got to get through each day.

Do you have a local Facebook group? I’ve found mine incredibly supportive and good at taking my mind off things.

I don’t see how a long walk will affect her cough ?? If she practices social distancing and keeps a very firm distance from everyone else

Maybe I’m missing something

You will cope because you have to. Something I told myself regularly with 2 under 2 and a partner who worked away. You can do this. Just believe that. Don't give up. It will get better flowers

^ that in spades, every single mum raising kids alone most of the time does know that: you cope and cope well, because there’s no other option, and when there are no options, you find a way.

Actually apologies. It is not clear. The BBC website says this:

What is self-isolation?

Self-isolating means staying at home and not leaving it, other than for exercise. Don't go to work, school or public areas during this time.

If possible, you should not go out even to buy food or other essentials. If you are unable to get supplies delivered, you should do what you can to limit social contact when you do leave the house.

Honestly, it is not surprising most people are confused.

How encouraging to see such a lovely supportive thread in comparison to the vile AIBU one going on at the moment (where the attitude seems to be 'you chose to have children!'). Much more of this support is needed at the moment. I am also going to have much of my maternity leave being affected by this - needing to stay at home with a baby as nobody will be going to baby groups at the moment.

Maybe I'm missing something
Yes you are. People with symptoms (eg the OP) are expected to place themselves on self isolation which means staying indoors for a minimum of 7 days.
The rest of us are being asked to practice social distancing , which allows for walks while maintaining distance from other people.

Hope this helps.

You'll find a routine. It is really hard but you'll adjust. In meantime, do not think ahead. We really don't know what will happen and I'm quite angry with the media outlets who are stirring more panic and saying this could last months, a year etc. We just don't know how it will go. Deal with what is happening now only, one day at a time. You aren't alone, we are all on here for you.