My daughter has a high temp, a bit of a cough and generally feeling under the weather, just phoned work (Cleaning company it's my 2nd job, i do afternoon school cleaning for a bit of extra money) told them daughter was ill and I would be following government guidelines and self isolating. The response?
Oh have you phoned the doctor?
me: what?
yeah you should phone the doctor it might be tonsilitus, we've had a lot of people phone into work today with sore throats.
me: (in my head) wtf you absolute fucktard, what planet are u living on right now you cock wombling thundercunt (what I actually said, and surprisingly remained calm whilst doing so) no I haven't called the doctor and absolutely won't be in the near future , and like I said I will be following the governments guidelines, you might want to read them again. Goodbye.
We're fucked aren't we?