I can’t cope. I feel like my life is over :(

[tollyfeeder]

I had a baby girl 5 weeks ago, and whilst I should be enjoying this special time with her, instead I am absolutely besides myself and struggling to accept the fact that I’m inevitably going to die from this virus.

I’m 34 and I’m asthmatic and although it’s never really caused me any problems (have gone several months without inhalers, but have recently started taking them again because of this) I am classed as the high risk population and should social distance for 12 weeks.

All the lovely things I had planned with my gorgeous girl, baby massage, baby sensory, baby music classes... all are now cancelled, and rightly so.

I haven’t slept a single bit for the last two days. I spend my time Crying and panicking and last night I have been physically sick because I’m that worked and frightened.

My gorgeous girl is so blissfully unaware of all of this. So happy and content.

I can’t bare the thought of what will happen to her when this virus takes my life.

I’ve waited such a long time to be a mummy and now it’s going to get taken from me 😭😭

it's very unlikely you will die. every single person with an underlying health condition is not dying, and you are young. i'm sure you would be prioritised by nhs in any case. the good news is that you are presumably on mat leave so can socially distance yourself and your DD. i do remember the intensity of feeling that life was fragile (it is, but that knowledge is less overwhelming when your hormones aren't all over the place) when i had my first child.

(also babies don't really give a shit about much except gazing at their mum's until they are a fair few months older - my second is 8 weeks old and he doesn't wish he was out at a class he just wants to smile at me, breastfeed and sleep)

Even with Asthma you are statistically very unlikely to die from this disease. Seriously, there is absolutely no inevitability to this at all. Not a bit

A lot of GPs are closed for face to face appointments but still doing phone appointments, the demand is high but it would be worth calling them or emailing to see if you can get one. Also try phoning the HV too.

The weeks after having a baby is a vulnerable time, you are tired from the birth and lack of sleep, and the enormity of a tiny little baby depending on you for everything. It takes a while to feel back to normal again.

Like all the PPs have suggested, get the baby massage and baby yoga videos on YouTube. I enjoyed baby massage the most when at home with my baby, not in a group setting. It's time for you and your baby. You can fit it in around sleep and feeding. Mine always fed, slept or cried through the groups! I understand it's hard not having the social contact when you are a first time mum, so the suggestion for WhatsApp groups etc is great.

on the covid thread has there been a setion put to relaxation and mindfullness techniques or anyhting that helps?
what bout fb op.do you know of any othr mothers.or could your midwife help wth putting you in touch with those others she sees who will deff be feeling just as you are.
could you tart a fb group and do some live feeds or conference calling?

Are you with the baby’s father? If so, upside is that he may be at home more to give you both support. Your baby is only 5 weeks old, it’s months before it’s remotely worth going to baby classes anyway.

Please follow the others’ advice and try to get some help for PND.

Feeling so sad for you reading this but please take heart from all the other posters who are saying that the best times with baby are the times at home, cuddling, gazing at and just being with baby, bathing them, swaddling them, feeding them and just being in awe at their preciousness.
Mine are grown up now and I'd just LOVE to be able to go back to the first few months - just to have more cuddles.
A baby only NEEDS love and food. All the other activities are really nice but not essential (and baby has no idea where they are or what they're doing 😂😂)
Your emotions may well be all over the place, and maybe you want to get out for a change of scene and to see other adults but the time will pass really quickly. There are good baby massage videos on YouTube - I know you won't get the social side but it is a lovely thing to do and doesn't need anything special.
Enjoy these precious days, they are over so quickly when you look back. Xx

You seem like you are suffering from PN anxiety and all the hysteria around CV is not helping. Not that I am minimising the seriousness of CV but you don't really have to worry so much that it takes over your life. You have a beautiful daughter, enjoy her. be grateful that you are getting these moments with out distraction.

And there is no thing in those classes that you can't do at home. Massage? All you need is oil /lotionand youtube videos to guide you how to do it. It's not meant to be a class experience, it's a bonding moment with your child. Baby sensory class? just hand her over some toys or blow up a balloon for her to lay with, there you go, her sensory needs met. Sign and sign is just nursery rhymes with actions. Babies smile at every thing you sing in a happy tone. She wouldn't know if you are doing all the activities at home or in a class, for her you are more important that another peppy instructor.

The only problem is isolation for you, which obviously is not good for anxiety/depression. I been there and I get it. Being around people does assure you that yes every thing is alright and you are doing a good job.. Technology is advance these days. You don't have to wait for a month for a letter or dail to get to another person. Just pick up your phone and video call. Set out a rota as to who you will call on what days. This might help a bit.

My husband has it.
It's just like a bad cold with a high temp

Please don't worry!!!! Xxx

So have you done anything proactive yet? Have you called your GP or midwife or health visitor? Are you actually going to come back to ANY of the threads you start or are you just going to keep expecting sympathy whilst not doing anything useful to help yourself or even show any signs that you’re listening to the people who are kindly giving you advice.

Or are you, as I suspect, just going to abandon this thread like the others and start yet another one?

Ginger you don't need to be so rude and harsh.
The OP is struggling. Have some compassion.
You're not going to die. Take a nice walk everyday with your baby away from people and enjoy the fresh air. One day at a time. This virus will go.

I feel the same. I managed to get through to my GP on the phone and got medication. I don’t have a young baby and the fact you do makes you more vulnerable right now. Get some help

I thought it's only severe asthmatics that need to self isolate?
I'm asthmatic and am still working etc??

@UsernameUnknownn yep a nice walk! That well known cure for mental health issues 👍🏻

@ginger - you are pretty rude to be honest!

I’ve not replied to anything as I’ve actually been avoiding MN since I posted.

As a few people have mentioned I have a lot of threads.

That’s mainly because I’ve been spending my evenings and late nights scrolling through all the active threads, getting myself in a stare and then seeking reassurance, time and time again.

I have spoken to my GP and I have a telephone consultation tomorrow evening for CBT.

Things are incredibly difficult for me right now, as I’m sure they are for a lot of people.

I’m very very down, very worried and having regular panic attacks.

Hubby has taken some time off work for the rest of the week and next week will be working from home so I hope that will ease my anxiety a little.

But right now I’m struggling to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

It just all feels like a really bad dream 😔

I’m not being rude, I’m being factual. You have started yet another thread today. You need more help than MN can give you, which I’ve stated several times.

OP, going for walks in the fresh air and sunshine is something that you can still do, even if you live in the middle of a town you can still bundle your DD into a sling or peak and go for a wander, find a park, cross the road to avoid people of you want...

If you have a car then head for your nearest beach or NT property. It might be speculation but I've heard that the NT have cancelled all admission costs to all parks, open spaces etc.

You WILL NOT DIE from this virus. Well, it is vanishing-ly unlikely anyway. I reckon I've got it, checking all the symptoms and I feel absolutely fine apart from what is essentially a very mild cold.

I completely get health anxiety, but you will not be making yourself feel any better. Step away from the phone, the TV and the radio and head out to enjoy open space with your DD.

Not being rude either op but you're whipping yourself up into a frenzy by constantly posting these sort of posts. It is a worrying time no doubt but try and step back from SM and the news as it's clearly affecting your MH badly. You said on another thread you're already having CBT, could your therapist help?

Repeatedly posting the same Armageddon type posts is going to perpetuate your anxiety!