I can’t cope. I feel like my life is over :(

[tollyfeeder]

I had a baby girl 5 weeks ago, and whilst I should be enjoying this special time with her, instead I am absolutely besides myself and struggling to accept the fact that I’m inevitably going to die from this virus.

I’m 34 and I’m asthmatic and although it’s never really caused me any problems (have gone several months without inhalers, but have recently started taking them again because of this) I am classed as the high risk population and should social distance for 12 weeks.

All the lovely things I had planned with my gorgeous girl, baby massage, baby sensory, baby music classes... all are now cancelled, and rightly so.

I haven’t slept a single bit for the last two days. I spend my time Crying and panicking and last night I have been physically sick because I’m that worked and frightened.

My gorgeous girl is so blissfully unaware of all of this. So happy and content.

I can’t bare the thought of what will happen to her when this virus takes my life.

I’ve waited such a long time to be a mummy and now it’s going to get taken from me 😭😭

You need to get out of your head; read a book, do a jigsaw, draw something. Do something completely absorbing and give yourself less time to think about this. No-one knows what will happen - chances are you'll be right as rain, and doing all those lovely things with your DD (congrats, by the way!), just not as early as you'd hoped. Take walks, take photos, talk to people as much as you can (on the phone), suggest a Skype chat for the groups you'd have gone to? GPs need to find a way of linking people up who will be isolated, mental health is hugely important. We could all drive ourselves to distraction reading scare stories and fearing the worst but all we can do is take things one day at a time, one hour at a time, one minute at a time. Make a nice herbal tea, download a good book (not a newspaper) and try to switch off for a while.

I haven’t slept a single bit for the last two days.

This is undoubtably making your anxiety worse.
You sound like I did when I had post natal anxiety.

Speak to your health visitor and prioritise sleep as much as you can.

The corona virus situation is new and troubling but you will likely survive. You are catastrophising which isn't realistic.

@tollyfeeder

Awww you poor love.

It's hard enough coping after having a newborn anyway, never mind having all this shit on top too.

Can't add much onto what has already been said, but you'll be fine....... Just look after yourself and your lovely baby.

Feeling like this after a having a baby is part of the whole hormonal upheaval. If it wasn't this current situation it would be something else setting you off. I spent the first few weeks grieving that my baby came a bit early even though she was medically fine. I'm sure everyone is telling you this, believe them. Try some alternative medicine, it helped me, my friend was a homeopath and gave me a remedy. Also have you spoken to your doctor about increasing your use of asthma pump?It will pass and you will soon be doing all those lovely things. She's only 5 weeks old it's a good time to nest in anyway

I have teenagers and I still have memories of the days in the sofa with them. Have you got one of those baby books where you stick in photos and write memories? Fill it out. My sons is great and he loves looking at it.

Make lots of videos too to watch when older. Go out for a walk around the block. I had terrible anxiety yesterday am and I went out and bought bright flowers to plant in the garden but getting out made it so much better.

I don't think that poster was being harsh.
Your reaction is understandable but still over the top. You need sleep and you need to be able to eat, to stay healthy and well!

Please give your HV a call and see if you can talk to someone about how you feel.

Your little girl is happy and well so focus on that, and I hope you feel better soon.
Self isolating will be hard but there are some great suggestions about other things you can do. Baby yoga, baby massage, baby sensory will all be available on YouTube videos.
Skype or facetime is a great idea.
Look after yourself lovely.
Congratulations too!

thepeopleversuswork & cheeseisformice

The OP says she hasn’t slept in two days, is crying and panicking, and has been physically sick over this.

I do consider that to be an abnormal and disproportionate reaction to Coronavirus.

She urgently needs to see or speak to a doctor for help before this escalates any further.

Saying what amounts to ‘there, there, never mind, it isn’t as bad as it seems’ on an online forum is not really helpful. Do you think if enough people say it then she will ‘snap out of it’ and stop worrying to this extent? I don’t. And that is why I recommend she gets professional help, no matter what other demands GPs currently have on their time. I believe a GP would prioritize this.

Having a new baby is so scary so must be so much worse with all this going on.

However asthmatics are not being told to self isolate. Only if you have severe asthma which you don't.

Try not watching the news etc and focus on your gorgeous baby. You are not going to die! It's just the hormones making everything seem worse - you will be ok

Everybody feels like this when they have a baby - I remember that feeling 28 years ago . Of course it is worse now with all of this going on . It is disappointing that you cannot go to all of these activities BUT you know what many many mothers do not do these things at all . You can do these online - many places are now setting up online live links . Spend this time bonding with your new baby .

It's understandable that you're stressed but try not to catastrophise. Enjoy your baby and snuggle her close.

Baby classes are not in my experience the blissful hours that their advertisers would like you to believe. DS1 spent most of baby yoga feeding, or crying. When I had DS2 I didn't bother with classes on the days DS1 was at nursery- spent my days cuddling my newborn instead!

OP

I has AS your other posts. You state you have health anxiety.

Your anxiety is getting out of control and may also be PND. Posting threads like this is not going to reduce your anxiety. You really really need to get some RL help with this. Please speak to your HV as soon as you can.

You owe it to yourself and your baby to get what help you can to stabilise your mood.

Please, please try not to worry. All your baby needs is you. Lots of cuddles. I didn't leave the house for 6 weeks after the birth of my 1st by C-Section and then that was only because I had to to register their birth. Didn't go out much after that for a few weeks because it was winter. Admittedly didn't have this worrying backdrop and it's only right to be fearful.

You're in a vulnerable space after giving birth because the enormity of having a little one to look after hits you. Try not to panic. Babies don't need baby sensory. Your isolation is the main thing - the baby will be totally oblivious. Just ensure that baby is cocooned - enjoy the new born cuddles - time will fly.

Lots of good advice on here but please talk to someone. A health visitor perhaps, a friend. If you're at home you are safe. It sounds like your anxiety is aggravating your asthma but that you mainly have it under control. Do you have a partner? Keep in touch by WhatsAp, text, Facetime etc. with friends. Get some good music on and please try and focus on keeping your gorgeous baby fed, warm, lots of cuddles and make sure you are eating well and drinking lots of fluids.

@tollyfeeder

Hey, please come back here to chat with us. You're in a rubbish situation, but believe me, you're not alone. You really are not going to die, your gorgeous baby is going to have her mummy around for many many years to come.
We're all feeling a little bit scared about this situation. I think you really need to phone your health visitor today and be honest about how you feel. I'm sure they will do a home visit today to support you.
I know a lot of Facebook communities are setting up support systems in the locality. If you're not already on a local Facebook site, why not search for one to join. Sending hugs xx

You are the victim of scaremongering and mass hysteria.

Hi OP
After I had my first DC I became very anxious about what would happen to her if I died and had some really intrusive thoughts and that was pre-virus so I can’t imagine how awful it is for you. Pleas seek help for your anxiety: you can call mind on +44-300-123-3393.
I’m older than you, asthmatic and have two young children - i know that it’s very unlikely I will die, I’m taking precautions to try and avoid it and hope I can avoid it for the next 12 months until there is a vaccine, if I do get it I’m at a slightly higher risk of needing to go to hospital that is all. The NHS is bloody fab and I trust them to look after me if I need them. This will end, you will get out the other side.

Nice @Billygun

I can’t bare the thought of what will happen to her when this virus takes my life.

OP nothing is going to happen to you. You need to speak to someone about your health anxiety as it must be unbearable to live like this

OP, you are not going to die. That's very dramatic. You might want to talk to your health visitor.

I am so sorry you are feeling this way. Your asthma sounds mild, I am guessing you have not been hospitalized for it in the past year? I really think the underlying conditions cover those whose conditions are more serious. Of course taking your inhalers as a precautionary measure is fine. As a new Mum anxiety can increase and although I get you are really feeling this anxiety try and take on board the comments of reassurance that you will be fine xxx

Billygun that is very unkind -anxiety is a real thing

Everybody feels like this when they have a baby - I remember that feeling 28 years ago.

That’s not true at all. All of what OP describes us a completely disproportionate reaction. Her mental health issues are far more of a risk to herself and her baby than Covid.

Mild, well managed asthma, particularly in a young person like you, is not too much of a worry. Social distancing is sensible for everyone now, and really hard - even more so when you have a new baby- but you will get through this. It will get easier I think , as time goes on, as the one comfort is that we are all in it together.

Sending you the biggest hug. Completely understand

I feel you OP. My babe is slightly older than yours and I'm absolutely gutted we aren't going to be able to go out and about to our lovely classes. I feel like crying. Our little holiday is off and I wonder when we will next be able to go to baby groups.

I'm also terrified that I will die and miss her growing up or that her grandparents will die. I'm so stressed and unbelievably gutted that this has happened now or at all. If I'd known, I would have waited. That being said, she lights up my life and is still making me smile so I'm glad she is here to make our days brighter x