should my in laws party be cancelled?

[sussexmum]

hi there- in-laws golden anniversary party is going to be full of elderly, 80+ and vulnerable. we've been putting a bit of work on to it so are committed, it's in a venue which hasn't offered cancellation, deposit has been paid. in-laws are going ahead, seem quite gung-ho, I'm finding it so irritating they won't seriously consider canceling it, coming up with a raft of reasons, the latest being it's up to individual guests. surely the whole point is we have to act like a society and look out for eachother? if I or my kids infected someone there (no symptoms btw) then it would be awful. opinions please!

This made me think actually .What about Weddings ,funerals ,christenings etc .Do they go ahead or not .How do you postpone a wedding I wonder ?

It’s not been called the Boomer Remover for nothing.

Don’t go. It’s a ridiculous idea to even contemplate.

Let them make their own decisions! They are adults. If you don’t want to go, don’t go but stop using a virus as an excuse. Don’t kiss anyone, use hand sanitiser. Have you got any reason to think you are infected? Have you got any symptoms? Have you had any cases near you? If not, then there doesn’t seem to be any reason to cancel

The government hasn't yet advised the elderly to self isolate.

Atalune i hadn't heard it called that!! yes it's not my decision is it, I can't force them to do anything they don't want to do. I've got b-i-l who they listen to to give his opinion. nothing I say can make a difference, if I feel I don't want to go you're right I don't have to (I would be pariah number 1 though)

Definitely

Yes the name is horrible, but apt.

probablysue it's a question of balancing free will with a communal approach - the only one which works- to defeat this virus. the line between the 2 is blurred and I'm just finding my way through

Hotel local to me has closed temporarily and let all staff go. All functions cancelled.

good advice 're the kissing and hand sanitizer though I'll ask the venue to supply some as I only have 1 precious bottle!!

I am far from believing in scaremongering but I think that a lot of people will go about their everyday lives as if it is nothing because the government are acting like it is nothing.

I am still going to the supermarket and buying as I normally would (not stockpiling) but I have cut down going to events or non essential places.

Personally I'd postpone, but if it goes ahead I imagine you'll get some cancellation.

Hi, I have noticed a "strong" attitude from that generation when trying to advise to self isolate etc.

I think also that there is a strong chance that some of the potential attendees are uneasy about attending anyway.

We are in ireland and all events have been pretty well canceled. There is a fair chance that it will be cancelled.

In the meantime you should get your husband aside and shown him one of the videos of medical people outlinin how serious this has the potential to be.

LovingLola any particular reason? round us it's all elderly out enjoying themselves!!

I am waiting on something to cancel, if they don't I feel I have no choice but to attend but I know several people that are praying it is cancelled. I think many guests would feel the same

Yes. They are working on the basis of sound medical advice. And also realise that if they are open then people will turn up.

Cancel for sure. Too many vulnerable people

wheretonow even if I did manage to get dp onside they are so stubborn it'd be useless. I just need to put up and shut up, it's their decision

I get a little bit bugged by things like this, if everyone was just a tiny bit responsible for a short period of time this will be much less catastrophic! We postpone our parties, concerts, sports games and holidays for a few months max. We stop panic buying hundreds of rolls of toilet paper and keep ourselves in our house as much as we possibly can this will pass much quicker and easier.

So, in conclusion 😂 I agree with you they should postpone their party! I also think though you should stand firm and not take your kids, they could be carriers! You don't agree and know it's wrong so by you and your kids going you're also being a tiny bit irresponsible

We had this decision as guests this weekend.
It was very upsetting for my elderly mum in having to say no. It caused much angst as to whether they, us or none of us went. In the end none of us went and the party went ahead without us. It has certainly caused upset.

It would have been far easier for mum if the decision had been made to cancel the whole party. Then it would have been out of her hands

YANBU, they should definitely cancel. It's such a needless risk when the infection rates are exponentially rising.

Personally, I'd warn the in-laws that people may just not come and if they say that's OK, I'd go ahead with it. Let people chose to come or not as they like.

Selfish and completely irresponsible to be going ahead.

This is going to get so much worse.

In a couple of weeks time..... when we are in total lockdown, like Italy.....there are going to be some very hard questions asked of those who didn't insist on making the tough calls that would have protected more people and saved many lives.

In Italy, they are only ventilating the under 60's.....they have had to make that decision.

Terrible.

I pray to God that I'm wrong...but i don't think i will be.

YANBU - I am in Italy and last week before all the bars and restaurants were shut, nobody my age (forties) was going to them. We were all going out as little as possible. There is a cafeteria at my local supermarket and every day it was packed with elderly customers!