So who is stopping visiting older family?

[WouldShouldCould]

I've read loads on here that in the event of school closing that people will be relying on grandparents.
After reading the statistics my parents (over 65 and with health issues, none that affect them daily but puts them more in the at risk group) are much more likely to have complications and I am thinking about stopping the kids from visiting.
This is going to be a nightmare for childcare but things really seem different this time

[Barbararara]

I’m giving our grandparents a wide berth at the moment as I think the dc’s school is the most likely source of infection for our family. Three of the grandparents are high risk for age and underlying health issues, and the fourth is healthy but still in her late 70s.

[RhodaCamel]

Thing is that this will isolate a lot of already lonely older people. I walk a dog for a 90 year old lady, she has very little family. Myself, the cleaner and her weekly hairdresser visits are her only source of contact most weeks.

[Honeybee85]

I don’t live close to my family but I wouldn’t have visited my DGM’s retirement home until the epidemic was over. I’d call her instead but wouldn’t want to endanger elderly people.

Also wouldn’t go to a hospital if it wasn’t absolutely neccesairy if I had symptoms of a cold or had been in contact with high risk individuals (for example people who have recently been to Northern Italy). I think we all have a responsibility at this moment to take preventive measures to protect the more vulnerable among us

[WeAllHaveWings]

My mum is in her 80s, very frail, and living at home alone. If she caught CV she will probably die. We cant stop visiting her and leave her isolated for the next year until a vaccine is made!

We already avoid visiting if we have a cold etc and obviously if any of us are exposed to a confirmed case/are being tested and self isolating we wont be able, until then it is keep calm and carry on.

[WokClock]

I’ve just made the decision to drive to visit my parents with my dc at the other end of the country this evening. My thinking is that it is only going to get worse.

What is completely flooring me though is that this might be the last time. They are late 70s so although they might not get it, if they do there is an 8% chance of them dying,

[shinynewapple2020]

My mother is 85 with dementia in a care home. I visit her every week unless I am unwell. Obviously if I had symptoms I wouldn't go but she (and the other residents) are no more likely to get anything from me than from the staff.

I think if you have 2 parents living together, fairly healthy in their 70's they would expect a few good years left so, yes, perhaps give it a miss for a few weeks as long as you know they have got deliveries etc. On the other hand for someone who is quite elderly and perhaps isolated I think that they would probably rather have the company and accept the risk (obviously ask them first)

[katy1213]

Thanks, but I don't anyone's germ-ridden kids visiting me!

[endofacentury]

Apart from being older, what would make someone more at risk. My mother is 80 with diabetes, would she be high risk?

[Pilot12]

No, DC's are going to visit the GP's (late 70's) tomorrow as usual.

[sunshinesupermum]

I'm 72 and still hoping to be with my DDs and DGs on Mothers Day in 2 weeks time! If your older relatives do have underlying health issues then probably don't see them although it is very sad to think they may be alone.

[bellinisurge]

Before you write off old people as collateral damage, my late mum - with serious lung problems and in her 80s survived hospital acquired pneumonia.
What would I do if she were still alive? I think she would insist no one visit her and she would have to battle me or my sister insisting either of us stay at her house and nurse her.
Certainly make sure they have use of phone or, better yet, FaceTime type thing, if they can manage. And an alarm thing that goes around their neck. My mum had one of these. She was stubborn and independent but it was a life saver. Literally.

[SausageCrush]

My DF would be devastated if family didn't visit.
He's already housebound and his world is already shrinking dramatically. As he says, he'd rather have quality of life than quantity.
Obviously we wouldn't go if we were feeling ill/in contact with someone who had it, but in the meantime it's visiting as usual.

[Waxonwaxoff0]

I only have one elderly relative and it's my grandfather who is 77.

He is very healthy for his age and has no underlying conditions, apart from a bit of hearing loss! We will visit him as normal. He's a stubborn bloke though and he won't isolate himself anyway - he is still going out and about every day socialising, shopping, playing bowls. So if he's going to get it, it will be more likely from someone else than from us (we visit him fortnightly).

If he asks us not to visit then we will of course respect that, and if one of us gets ill we won't visit.

[SquishySquirmy]

I am bringing forward a visit to elderly relatives!
Because my estimation is that my chance of having/spreading Covid19 tomorrow/this week is vanishingly small. My chance of having/spreading it over the next couple of weeks is also very low.

But if this thing is not contained and it spreads uncontrollably within the UK, then my plans to visit relatives over the summer would be very foolhardy.
So my thinking is visit now while the risk still low, because it may be many, many months before I can safely visit otherwise.

[WokClock]

My thinking too Squishy. I’ve checked with my parents and they would much prefer to see us now with a low risk.

[WokClock]

@endofacentury
Have you seen this site www.worldometers.info/coronavirus/coronavirus-age-sex-demographics/

I’ll warn you the numbers are depressing

[weaselwords]

My parents are both 79 yrs old and Dad has liver disease and Mum arthritis. Both very independent so I shall leave them alone as I work for the NHS and presume I’ll be one of the first to get it.

[rookiemere]

My DM won't let me visit her or DF . We came back from Austria on 15th Feb and I had a cold so fair dos, but no longer have cold so suggested I could come up this weekend and if she was worried wear a mask and gloves and not stay long, as I'm going skiing again next Thursday so if it's another two weeks after that it will be April before I see them and who knows how bad the situation will be by then.

I get why they are worried- they are both in their 80s and DF has diabetes- but they still seem to be going to their local probus meeting and buying groceries so it seems a very selective sort of isolation. I hope they are ok, but I'd also like to see them.

[BackInTime]

I have told DPs and ILs that we will stay away for a few weeks. Mainly because DS returned from a school ski trip to Italy over half term, although not in the lockdown area and thankfully not showing symptoms yet. Also because we all use public transport to get to work and school and generally spend more time out and about through work and DCs activities than they do. I feel we have a higher odds of catching something because of how we live and I would hate to be responsible for passing it to them.

[LarryUnderwood]

I dont really get this. If I was feeling unwell I wouldn't visit an elderly relative anyway, as I wouldn't want to pass anything on. Otherwise its business as usual with extra handwashing. I simply dont see how this is any different. My father and step mum are elderly, and as much as I would like them to live forever, death is inevitable for all of us. So I think it's important to just keep on going about your daily business, surely?

[BackInTime]

@LarryUnderwood I think there is an element of personal responsibility in all of this. We all have to assess the risks of our individual situations and act accordingly.

[IceColdCat]

My parents are 78 and 83 and my dad is asthmatic. I'm not taking the kids to visit them until this has blown over. Not worth the risk.

[cologne4711]

I've not seen my mum since Christmas and am feeling a bit guilty about it. But the weather has been so shocking and we were busy at half term. She may come to us in a couple of weeks. DS was in Italy last weekend so it's probably best if she waits at least another week so the 14 days have passed - but on the other hand DH is in London nearly every day and I suspect the risk of him catching it and giving it to her is greater.

He's not visiting his own mum who is house-bound. She has dementia and is bed-bound but general health wise is actually ok - nothing like diabetes or asthma. But she's 91 this year and he's scared of giving it to her.

[EwwSprouts]

I asked my grandma if she wanted a visit this weekend from teen DS & me and she said yes. She's 75 & a former nurse so able to judge the risks. There are more cases in her county than ours.

[AlternativePerspective]

I think that essentially isolating older people on the basis they might catch it is very selfish, and TBH I imagine there are plenty of adult children who will use this as an excuse not to bother with their parents.

Ironically my parents who are 70 are both in better health than I am. Whereas I have hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, atrial fibrillation, a leaking heart valve and require a heart transplant, although mercifully I am still healthy enough not to have to be on the list.

While I probably won’t visit any large gatherings soon and will be vigilant if anyone comes into contact with me who might have the virus, do people actually think that people like me should be isolated from the world for an indefinite period of time?

What about people my age or younger who have children? Should those children be sent somewhere else or be isolated too?

If someone close to you has an underlying health condition then you stay away from them if you have symptoms of any kind of illness. This is no different.

The panic is one thing, but extending that to justify isolating whole sections of society is quite another.