So who is stopping visiting older family?

[WouldShouldCould]

I've read loads on here that in the event of school closing that people will be relying on grandparents.
After reading the statistics my parents (over 65 and with health issues, none that affect them daily but puts them more in the at risk group) are much more likely to have complications and I am thinking about stopping the kids from visiting.
This is going to be a nightmare for childcare but things really seem different this time

My mother is 80 with diabetes, would she be high risk?
As I understand it someone with diabetes and 80 years old would be very high risk.

Both of my parents are no longer with us sadly, but the older members of my DH's family are pretty hale and hearty so we won't stay away unless we or they feel unwell.

Also, there’s a vast difference between people deciding they don’t want to see their adult kids or whatever, and others deciding that they know what is best for those people, even if they don’t have any symptoms.

I'm not really getting it either. If nobody you're in contact with is ill, on what basis are you deciding not to live normal life?

Hasn't even crossed my mind!

@AlternativePerspective Sadly that may be the case that it is used as an excuse but people have to judge the situation based on their own circumstances and manage risks accordingly. We have discussed the situation with DPs and ILs and they agreed it was sensible not to get together for now and just see how things go. We speak and FT regularly and they are not isolated and get out and about doing their own thing just avoiding busier places with lots of people.

To those who will not visit until it has all "blown over" how long do you think that will take, out of interest?

Because I suspect that IF this does spread properly (cases still very low at the moment compared to total population) then it will take a long time to "blow over".
Perhaps the best part of a year?
So if you are avoiding the elderly and vulnerable now, on the basis of a statistically very low risk of you giving them the virus, are you prepared to do so for months?
If it does spread throughout the population beyond the trickle of cases we see now, then your chances of getting CV within the next year are considerable. Your chances of getting it within the next week are very low.
I would take that into account when considering whether/when to see loved ones.
But that's just my opinion, I'm not an epidemiologist.

My parents (late 70s early 80s one with high blood pressure and diabetes) are currently on holiday to unaffected part of Europe.

They have a cruise booked for a week or so after they get back. They actually booked the cruise after the corona princess happened despite my protestations it was stupid. "We've lived a long life and want to travel while will still can, its all a storm in a teacup and a long way from where well be (still closer than San Francisco)

I'm potentially anticipating not seeing them for a long time. Best case scenario.

"blown over" how long do you think that will take, out of interest?"
Three months to peak 6 months to resolve.

If my older generation were at home id be visiting now whilst hospital admissions are still low. Id be setting up Skype for the spread.

My parents are very relieved that we will not be visiting them this weekend . My 80+ mums anxiety was through the roof . Although they made it our choice - their choice was obvious !

I asked my elderly Dad what he would prefer. He doesn't want to be alone and wishes to carry on seeing us.

Everyone is scrubbing hands / anti bac gel. Keeping an eye on the advice.

My mum is in her late 80's and has bad heart disease and bad COPD. She lives in a small commuter town outside London with no cases that we know of yet. Her health conditions are both a curse and a blessing. If she gets this virus she's in the very highest risk group. At the same time she doesn't go out very much because she has problems breathing and so her risk of catching cv is limited. She has an active social life but it's 99% U3A groups who just get taxis to each others' houses. Occasionally they'll all go to an afternoon cinema club in a village hall, occasionally they'll go for a pub lunch out in the country on a week day.

Meanwhile, DH and I live in London and commute on jam packed trains and buses, across and into boroughs that have several known cases. Both DH and I have meetings with people from all over the world on a weekly basis. Both of us will probably get it sooner rather than later and London might get a bit hairy for a while.

I had a long discussion with mum this afternoon about whether we should visit her or not. We were very blunt with each other about what risks we were each prepared to take. She doesn't want my adult DC to visit while they both have snotty colds. She doesn't think they have CV, she just doesn't want her immune system battered by any colds, flu etc. before she has to fight this.

She has decided she would absolutely love to see any of us who have no symptoms so that's what we're going with. She knows there is still a small risk but she wants to see her family as long as we are not coughing or sneezing on her. She understands that one of us might still give it to her and that she might die. She has weighed all this up against the risk to her general health and wellbeing of everybody she loves staying as far away as possible for fear of infecting her and she has made a sensible and rational decision based upon her own priorities.

So I am visiting my mum this weekend but it's probably the last time for a while.

Me 👋. DP are only 60 but one is on a waiting list for a lung transplant and the other has respiratory/feeding difficulties due to a neurological condition. I have 3 DC under 5 who could pick the virus up whilst showing very little symptoms. I can't risk it.

We visit my parents 3 times a year. Will be playing it by ear, at Easter, when we're next due to visit. Things could change a lot between now and then.

I'm going to visit my 90 year old Dad tomorrow. I am not ill. If I was I wouldn't go. But I don't think just because I'm out and about and living my life that it means I'm carrying some dreaded disease.

And actually we discussed it last week. My Dad said 'I will have to die of something at some point so what does it matter'. Better than a long and slow decline from dementia and increasing ill health, acute episodes and frailty.

0.000002%. That's the infected population. 0.0000001% of those infected have died.

I'd probably hang on before I disregard the elder members of my family.

Stop fearmongering. I bet you lot who have given up your family are the same ones who have bought up all the bog roll for a respiratory infection.

Our parents' generation have at least two decades more experience than us of assessing risk. We should take our cues from them. We are a risk to them and not vice versa.

Ask the elderly person whether they prefer visits or not

The risk should be their decision

I wont visit if I feel unwell other than that this is going to go on for a very long time so I will see them as usual. I am worried though, they are not particularly old (early 70s) but have underlying conditions. Am concerned though as they also care for and live with my adult sister who has learning disabilities and other health issues so it's a worry.

I'm looking after my oh who has cancer and is on chemo as well as her mum who is 86 and who lives with us. I'm a part time cleaner on zero hours contract so no sick pay,so everyone in my team works when they are I'll. At least one of them is ill at any one time. What should I do?

I’ve not visited my Grandad who is in his mid 90’s since it’s all gone a bit wonky.

No. My Grandad is in his 90s and has poor health. We asked him about our extended family Easter gathering and he said, 'it's probably my last Easter anyway. I'd rather spend it with my family then die than hang on another 6 months being lonely.'

I don't live very close but visit whenever possible.

My parents are in their 70's but live abroad. However my grandad is 100. Was planning to visit him this weekend. DD and I are both in ok health but she has a cold. If we don't visit this weekend and the virus gets worse we may not be able to

@AlternativePerspective I'm not sure that giving up my free childcare to protect my parents is selfish. We can still Skype daily but if it continues to get worse then for their protection they will need to practice socially distancing. Regards shopping etc I would do that for them as statistically I'm less risk.

@turnthebiglightoff and where exactly are you getting those statiscs from? Fear mongering and head in the sand are close companions.

@turnthebiglightoff
I was going to say exactly the same thing. Nowhere supports those figures. "Mild" symptoms actually include pneumonia and anything not requiring oxygen. This is not the same kind of mild we as a population is used to....

My mother lives alone. I cant stop visiting her or she will see no-one.