A few things to add to help answer some of the questions on this thread:
Firstly, in response to the first question, there have indeed been many soldiers killed, mostly by Hamas, not by friendly fire. Also some deaths from the ongoing conflict with Hezbollah in the north. Every soldier who dies is named in the national press. Not named in the press, are the many, many more who have been seriously wounded in combat.
Every school leaver except, until now, the exempt haredi (ultra religious) Jews does national service. Over the last year of school there is a thorough and intense process where each school leaver goes through various assessments - physical, academic, mental etc - and then applies for different roles within the IDF. The IDF is therefore able to fit roles to those with the best skills. In normal times, school leavers will then do their national service before going on to further study. They do regular camps thereafter, and act as reservists who can be called up if needed (as now). Religious women can and do choose to do community service in lieu of army service.
The Haredi issue with the army is twofold - it’s not just the exposure to the non-religious elements, it’s also that (hard to believe perhaps) some do not recognise and support the current State of Israel as it is too secular in their view. As those up thread have said, their exemption does cause significant resentment. I have family on both sides of this, and it is difficult.
Of course it’s hard for the parents - but it is part of living in Israel and fundamentally believing in Israel’s right to exist and to defend itself. I have a DN going into the army shortly, the family simultaneously accept and dread it. Like everyone with family in Israel I also have cousins who are reservists (in their 30s and 40s, married, with kids) who have had to do their bit in this awful conflict. Very hard on the wives and children, but again, accepted as necessary.