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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

42 and desperate!

55 replies

MinkyWaller · 06/07/2010 13:55

I am 42 and desperate to get pregnant. Have been trying for years......have had several not too helpful hospital appointments, but know there is nothing wrong with myself or my husband. Hospital not keen to help on NH because of my age. Any suggestions gratefully recieved.

OP posts:
hairytriangle · 06/07/2010 21:32

Have u had hycosy ? Hormone tests day 3 an 21?

If it's any consolation I'm 42 and desperat too one ectopic one blocked tube ( which I wouldn't know Bout had I not had self funded hycosy)

Original poster
MinkyWaller · 07/07/2010 19:54

I'm not sure what hycosy is but I am waiting for another review so will ask.

So sorry to hear about your ectopic pregnncy.

Shame everything has to be self funded! I may be 42 but I don't feel it.

Keep positive and thank you for your advice.

OP posts:
hairytriangle · 08/07/2010 07:36

Hycosy is to check for blocked tubes.

DuelingFanjo · 08/07/2010 14:11

or you can have a hysterosalpingogram to check your tubes.

DuelingFanjo · 08/07/2010 14:12

or is that the same thing?

giraffemummy · 08/07/2010 15:38

Hello,

Lurking from the CBFM support group. Hycosy and hysterosalpingogram are both tests of fallopian tubal patency. Both require insertion of a thin catheter into the uterus and injection of a 'dye'. Hysterosalpingogram then uses x-rays to watch the dye pass through your tubes and Hycosy uses ultrasound.
Hycosy tends to be used more in the private sector.

Hope this is helpful

Original poster
MinkyWaller · 08/07/2010 20:05

Thank you. I have had a hysterosalpingogram and all is well. Which is good news. I didn't realise that it may also be called hycosy.

Just need to keep on a-trying then!

Thank you all.

OP posts:
ttalloo · 08/07/2010 20:09

Have you considered acupuncture? I conceived DS1 thanks to acupuncture after two MCs and one year of TTC after that.

Original poster
MinkyWaller · 09/07/2010 19:12

I would consider anything to be honest. Thanks for the suggestion.

OP posts:
kalo12 · 09/07/2010 22:02

minky where do you live?

have you tried sarah dobbyn fertility diet?

if you live in london i can recommend jeryani clinic

Original poster
MinkyWaller · 10/07/2010 13:10

I live in Exeter. Have found an acupuncturist who seems to offer what I may need. Am off to Google the fertilty diet right now. Thanks.

OP posts:
ttalloo · 11/07/2010 21:13

Good luck minky. I hope acupuncture and the fertility diet help you to have a baby.

(BTW, in the interests of positive thinking, I have a colleague who had a baby at 46, my MIL has a neighbour who had a baby at 49, and my aunt's best friend had a baby at 44. They all thought they were menopausal so they didn't know whether to be delighted or mortified ...!)

Original poster
MinkyWaller · 12/07/2010 21:28

Thank you. This has been a real help. My doctor and all the specialists I have seen so far have been pretty unhelpful and not at all positive. We have been trying for 4 years and are not keen to give up just yet, so knowing women have been successful well into their 40's is good to know.

OP posts:
Smalline · 12/07/2010 21:32

I found that relaxing massages around the time of ovulation helped.

Ragwort · 12/07/2010 21:33

I conceived my first (& last ) child at 42 - it's not impossible. Good luck.

hellymelly · 12/07/2010 21:42

I second accupuncture,I have it regularly anyway,but I did tell the man doing it that I was trying to get pregnant and I did get preg very very easily each time,first time at 40 and the second at 42 (43 when she was born).I also know someone who tried for years for a second baby in her 40's and got pregnant through accupunture.

herethereandeverywhere · 13/07/2010 16:06

I was "only" 32 when trying to conceive for the 1st time. It took 15 months of same old routine of sex, wait, disappointment. Things that "worked" for me in the end:

  • I took work less seriously, worked less hard and as a result was less stressed.
  • DH and I worked through the stress TTC was causing our relationship until we were happy and balanced and I wasn't like a desperate banshee the whole time (not saying that you are of course!)
  • Saw a nutritionist friend and sorted out my unhealthy eating habits AND took loads of supplements (I'm not into that kind of thing at all but the difference to the way I felt before being pg was AMAZING)
  • Followed the Deanna plan for TTC (google it if you've not heard. It's about using OPKs and having sex on certain days)
  • Used "Preseed" lubricant. I got pregnant the first month of doing the final 2 points on the list.

My 39 yr old friend who'd been TTC for over a year also followed this advice (and did some accupuncture) and fell pg on the first month of trying the final 2 points on the list.

Good luck!

gembay · 13/07/2010 16:14

I advise reading Julia Indichova - 'inconceivable' - it's really inspirational for women struggling to conceive over 40.

Original poster
MinkyWaller · 15/07/2010 19:02

Thanks again all! I have my first acupuncture session in a week and I am really looking forward to it. The acupuncturist comes highly recommended and is interested in diet and lifestyle as much as needles.

Stress is definitely a factor in my life. I teach and find it hard to switch off sometimes. But the holidays are almost here and I feel in a much better frame of mind with so much stuff to look into.

I have not heard of the Deanna plan. I feel incredibly ignorant and wish I had posted here much much earlier! But its all good. Summer research, I feel!!

OP posts:
ttalloo · 15/07/2010 21:37

Good luck, minky! Really hope it goes well for you and you come back soon to report some good news!

hellymelly · 15/07/2010 23:32

Yes,good luck minky,and if you are feeling a bit winga wonga as my friend calls it,you could try just asking your baby to come to you,telling it that you are ready,and if he or she would like to make you a family then you are welcoming them home.This may sound barmy but each time I conceived I had just sent this thought out very strongly as I was going to sleep,and each time I conceived later that week.

desanimaux · 15/07/2010 23:43

Obviously, if you have been trying for years then there IS something wrong with you or you husband.......?

LittleSilver · 16/07/2010 05:23

Have you tried charting?

ttalloo · 16/07/2010 20:29

desanimaux, that's not very helpful. Especially when minky has already said that tests have shown that there is nothing wrong with her or her DH!

Unexplained inability to conceive is very common, and that's why non-medical treatments can be so helpful - they can tap into something that doctors can't really understand and "unblock" whatever it is that's preventing conception.

minky, hairytriangle, here's a real life Guardian journalist who had a baby at 48 to give you more hope. www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2009/oct/24/luisa-dillner-pregnant-older-mother

bessie26 · 16/07/2010 21:13

I love my acupuncture sessions, she specialises in fertility so is good to have someone in RL to rant to about my charts!

Do you chart? It helps to know that you are actually doing it at the right times each month! Do pop over to the charting thread if you have any questions!

also, have you seen this thread?

Good Luck!