Conception myths vs Real Advice

[myhubbyisnohelp]

I waited until I was in my 30's to have children and it took 15 months of trying before I managed to conceive with my first little one. In this time I was quite often given advice (not all of it asked for) by friends that already had children of their own; and, because they had kids and I didn't, alot of it I believed. Only after my own research, doctor's advice and now a lot of retrospect have I realised how misguided I was.

I am now lucky enough to be blessed with two little angels. But, I have been asked by a friend, who has also waited to have children and is desperate to conceive, how the best way to do it is.

This got me thinking of the complete myths I was bombarded with compared with what actual advice I was given. I would like to reassure my friend that she isn't on her own in trying for a baby and maybe in the process try and dispell some of the bogus info out there.

For Example:
Myth - Don't have sex for the few days leading up to ovulation, this will give your partner chance to produce lots more sperm, incresing the chance of conception.
Truth - Have lots of sex, before, during, and after ovulation. Waiting and 'saving' his sperm will only slow down his production. Also the newer the sperm the stronger it is and the more longevity it has.

I'm new to this and hope that I haven't waffled on too much, please post your myths and advice, and maybe we can have a giggle at the most bazaar ideas out there.

1. know your cycle
2. shag like rabbits and have lots of fun.
3. dont stress in the tww.
4. woman having an orgasm really DOES up your chances. So thats an excellent excuse for him to brush up on his technique.

also, and this might seem patronising to any blokes lurking on here, dont tell the other half when you are fertile. It puts un-necessary pressure on them, stops it being enjoyable and they wont want to play. Or even worse, they want to play but cant quite manage it IYSWIM. This is something I discovered when TTC for nearly 3 years, my OH was really feeling the strain, and was struggling to perform at the key times. So I stopped telling him and made it just for laughs and hey presto he got his libido back. Turns out after I spoke to friends, this is often the case.

Re the orgasm, I've heard it only actually helps if you have one during the pump and grind action. Which can be problematic . Iz this troo?

You will need to be persistant in order to get answers, do not be fobbed off.

If your periods are irregular in nature would seek medical advice sooner rather than later. The same applies if your periods are very heavy and or painful in nature.

If deep pain during sex is evident then this should be looked into further by a gynae (NOT the GP).

Any bleeding between periods should be checked out to ascertain the underlying cause.

Do NOT go down the route of timing of intercourse; this does more harm than good to a relationship.

You need a diagnosis first and foremost.

Sex two or three times a week throughout the cycle is fine.

myhubbyisnohelp - your myth is only a myth for men with normal sperm counts.

For couples where the man has a low sperm count sex every 2-3 days is best. It's not so much 'saving up' the sperm as allowing them to replenish

Thanks for all your advice, peeps, will convince said friend to get over her shyness and sign up to mn. I think she will appreciate the solidarity

At our age () don't wait until you get the smiley face on the OV stick - our eggs pop from our ovaries and turn to dust in about 15 seconds. The sperm need to be there anxiously tapping their wrist watches. Shag and be merry, timing will lead to madness.