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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

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Original poster

i ned some hand holding and distraction...

79 replies

PandaEis · 06/06/2010 18:38

for those who dont know me, im a long term TTCer (2.5 yers and counting) i have had 6 MCs 5 being in the last 2.5 years and i have a blood disorder to 'explain' this track record

so... to the reason for me posting

DH and i decided to take a ttc break after our 6th MC in january and since then my cycles have regulated again from 31 days to 27-28 days. i have had 4 cycles straight of 27-28 days and then this current cycle i was expecting AF to arrive around 29-30th may. i am still waiting i have got VERY sore (.)(.)'s and i feel really tired but cant sleep i was EXACTLY like this when i was pregnant with my DD(4yo)

i am scared to test as my most recent MCs have happened between week 5-6 and i dont want to see BFN either

so basically i just wondered if there is anyone around to distract me from obsessing over whether i am pregnant or not cos i need to take my mind off it

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BuddhaBelly · 09/06/2010 11:47

EI How you holding up? Am I allowed a just because you need distracting!! Have you decided if you are going to be naughty and test tomorrow? I can fully understand your hesitation and worry as I know what you have been through but it doesn't stop me getting quietly optimistic and excited for you. Did any of the distractions offered help? Maybe more of what got you here in the first place
How is your DD? Hopefully she will keep you on your toes for the next few days, feed her lots of sugar

rainbowdays · 09/06/2010 16:30

OK I am am not doing a good job of distracting you..... sorry I went awol for a couple of days. Anyway, are you testing tomorrow. - don't do it, wait another week and stay in blissful ignorance! I have had a couple more faint positives, just trying not to think too negatively about it yet. Stay off the emotional rollercoaster as long as you can i say!

Original poster

PandaEis · 09/06/2010 16:58

hey buddah rainbow brilliant news on the faint +'s fingers crossed! i am holding off for a few more days and then i will have a definitive aswer either way wont i DH wants to go get a test tomorrow so we will see

i am doing some overtime in work to distract myself but i still get a little chance for a sneaky MN

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rainbowdays · 10/06/2010 18:16

Panda - hope that work is keeping you very busy. You will certainly get a clear answer the longer you leave it, and then you can skip the horrible first couple of weeks. Well done for keeping yourself distracted.
My line got a little bit darker today, still faint but definitely there.

Original poster

PandaEis · 10/06/2010 23:06

hey rainbow glad your BFP is getting darker i hope things just go from strength to strength for you

i have a test to do tomorrow morning if i feel ready to DH bought it for me today i have started to feel queasy and some smells have turned my stomach a bit yesterday and today this is seriously torturous not knowing but in a way im glad i havent kown either way as if i got AF i would just treat it as AF and never know anything different i suppose thats what multiple MC does to you... i doubt i will ever just enjoy a pregnancy like i did with the first one ever that was my first and latest gestation miscarriage (14 weeks)

i dont know what to wish for being honest...

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rainbowdays · 11/06/2010 08:28

Panda - it does sound like you are pregnant, and at least you won't be squinting at faint lines at this stage. However, since you have gotten this far, you could wait til Sunday. That would make you six weeks which would mean that on monday you could go straight for scan and start heparin injections if all is well. If I was strong enough that is what I would do. I will be checking back here later to see if you did the test this morning.

I fully understand the heartbreak of recurrent miscarriages as you know. I do not enjoy these first weeks, they are a constant round of "waiting for the inevitable" whilst "hoping it will be different this time".

I admire you for being able to hold out till now. I wish I had the same strength, I would love to be able to go straight to scan stage at 6 weeks and not have these torturous few weeks.

For me however even getting to scan stage is no reassurance, but it does increase the hope that maybe, just maybe, this will be the one.

Take care Panda. Be kind to yourself.

Original poster

PandaEis · 11/06/2010 14:03

hi rainbow

well i did the test

it was a faint BFP it cant just be simple can it?? i seriously envy those who do their tests and get nice bold strong BFPs and thisngs just work out for them my BFP with DD was much the same so hope is still there i have called the GP and i have to retest and then i can go and see the consultant...we will see what the weekend brings though cautious optimism all around though

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jessplus2 · 11/06/2010 14:30

(whispers) congratulations PandaEis!

PicknMix · 11/06/2010 17:33

Yay!! I will be hugely optimistic on your behalf Ei!!

I do understand totally what you're going through though - my last mc was my 4th and I really just wish I hadn't known and had thought it was just a late period..... But a line is a line etc and I hope you can get an appt asap with your consultant.

I had my insem this morning so will be frantically freaking out in about 12 days time. May have to get the cheapo tests in so I can just test every day. last IUI I spent a fortune on tests!

How are things in camp DG? Rainbow congrats on the test getting darker - will you be able to get an early scan given your history?

digitalgirl · 11/06/2010 20:25

ei no surprises with that bfp - yay!!! Keeping my fingers crossed for you. Will you get a scan next week?

PnM wishing lots of fertilisationy vibes your way!

Am on cd2. So I have a 16 day luteal phase. Am hoping, with acupuncture and a low(ish) GI diet, to bring my cycle length down to less than 6 weeks. Maybe this cycle will be lucky.

rainbowdays · 11/06/2010 20:25

Panda - congratulations, let us keep our positivity going here, we need to focus on the possibilities that things might just go right this time, and we might become bump buddies!

Picknmix - well I am sure I will still be here in 12 days time to be anxious with you. Had you not considered getting the cheap internet test strips, much cheaper for an obsessive POAS-er like me!!!! I can test every day and not feel guilty about it!

PicknMix · 13/06/2010 10:50

How is everybody doing today? Have you retested Ei? Hope Monday brings an appt for you so you can get some answers - I remember you saying DD was a faint positive so fingers tightly crossed for this one!

DG sorry to hear you're back at the beginning again, hopefully you can get those cycles regulated to below 6wks.

How's it going Rainbow? Am willing this one to be a sticky one! Is so difficult to remain positive I know but each time is different and its got to be your turn for a break this time!

My SIL sent an email asking when we were going across to visit them next year as they live in australia. How do you answer that? Well, ask me in a few weeks once we know whether the treatment worked?? Is difficult!

Have purchased 10 pregnancy tests from access diagnostics so can test everyday - not supposed to test until 14dpo as meds stay in system til then which will give false positive, bets on I can't wait that long though!

rainbowdays · 13/06/2010 18:40

picknmix - wow you are restrained, if it were me I would be buying 50 and testing out the meds til I got a negative then watching for the positive to appear!!!! but then I am a poas-aholic!

panda - hope you are doing ok, and that you get a good doc to see tomorrow

mowmi · 13/06/2010 19:09

Rainbow - Hello! Hope this one is a lovley sticky one for you love. x

PicknMix · 15/06/2010 18:19

Any news EI?

rainbowdays · 15/06/2010 19:26

Yes - panda, you can't start a thread then leave us in limbo. I hope everything is ok?

mowmi - thank you, it is good to see you! Hope all is going well with you now?

Original poster

PandaEis · 15/06/2010 22:31

hi,

sorry i havent been online for very long the past few days

al ok for now the GP has given me a sample note so i have to do a sample with FMU and take it back in before he will refer me for a scan fair enough though. i 6+3 today...this is the furthest i have managed since starting TTC in oct 2007 i have ordered some digital tests from access diagnostics which should be here soon i just want to see the words really

rainbow how are you? have you tested again?? i have been thinking about you as we are in the same boat me and you

pnm how are you feeling?? any symptoms?

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PicknMix · 15/06/2010 22:54

Yay to being 6+3! Am excited for you! Don't blame you for wanting to see it in words, you must need some serious reassurance right now!

Am surprised that the doc has insisted on fmu pee test, would've thought, given your history, he would've put you straight in for a blood test? Ah well, at least you'll hopefully get a scan in the next few days.

I have some weirdo spotting going on today - am only 4 days post IUI so any thoughts of it being an implantion bleed are futile, is waaaaay too early for that! Have no idea what it is though, am trying not to panic over it though.....

Good luck with the pot peeing tomorrow, let us know what happens.

Original poster

PandaEis · 16/06/2010 13:19

just tested again using m FMU sample for the GP and i used a first response, the line is still there but just as faint as the first time i testedi would assume that i should at least have a darker line by now?? im now trying to keep positive but i dont think things are going to work out somehow!! i cant even get an appointment to see the doctor and it will be 3-5 days before i get my test results back which i assume will come back as negative (this has happened for all of my subsequently confirmed pregnancies and happened twice when i was preg with DD) what do i do? should i get an emergency appointment for the GP to talk about it? i would have to ring and pester them at 830am tomorrow for this as they said they havent got any appointments available for 2 weeks

hope everyone else s doing well

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Turkelton · 16/06/2010 15:06

Hi Ei

Firstly congratulations again If I was you I would ring first thing in the morning and demand an appointment, if anything it will give you something to focus on and hopefully will put your mind at ease a bit, secondly doesnt matter how faint the line is, a line is a line, when I was pregnant with the twins all my tests came up with ridiculously faint , tilt 5 degrees to the left and squint slightly lines , I was nearly 10 weeks before I got a good strong line.

I am keeping everything crossed that it all goes well for you, you really really deserve it (((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))

((((((((((((((((((((positive-vibes))))))))))))))))

rainbowdays · 16/06/2010 18:38

Panda - don't worry - be happy!!!!! If it helps, both my mum and my sister had good healthy pregnancies with negative tests! My mum only found out at 3 months with an internal exam. My sister was 4 months and still testing negative, but then had a scan and voila, a 4 month baby! So those tests (whilst the key to getting a scan!) are not worth worrying about. Sounds like you have experienced this faint line thing before anyway. So lets keep the positive thoughts here. Since you have been told to take heperin injections from 6 weeks, I would demand an immediate referral for a scan regardless of the urine hcg tests. If not can you find a friendly EPU that will see you without a referral?

I am now 4weeks5days and lines are clear now, but I keep testing everyday. It just gives me confidence that things are still progressing. I have the occasional wobble still, wondering if it is going to go wrong again, but I keep kicking myself and trying to think good thoughts instead.

PnM - thinking positive thoughts for you too!

digitalgirl · 17/06/2010 17:51

ei at 6 weeks you should be able to call the epu yourself and book in for a scan. I went to the same hospital for scans for both my mc's and they've got my details on record so when (not if ) I next get pg they'll book me in for a scan at 6 weeks. With your history you should be entitled to self refer for a scan.

PnM spotting perhaps a slow reaction to the insem?

Wishing you both the stickiest of stickyvibes.

Original poster

PandaEis · 18/06/2010 15:29

hi ladies

dg they wont accept self referral as im under a consultant and they need GP confirmation to move forward. im still waiting on the results and i would guess they will be back next tuesday but you know what NHS is like i feel as if they are going to say im being sill and im not preg afterall it would be quite fitting with the story of my life that would
im still getting symptoms and they are getting stronger by the day! MASSIVE sore boobs, sickly in the evenings, so so tired all the time!! sense of smell like a blood hound! achey crampy pains and lower back pain (on and off)...i could go on and on...

i tested this morning with a cheapie though and it was BFN i dont know what to think now

hope everyone else is doing well

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rainbowdays · 18/06/2010 22:54

panda - so sorry you are going through this horrible limbo-land. Not fun at all. I am disgusted that they will not take you to check things out. My mum and sister both had pregnancies without ever getting positive pregnancy tests, it happens. To just leave you in this situation, knowing you are under the care of a consultant gets me cross. As you can tell, I am continuing to think positive thoughts for you, I hope you get help soon.

Original poster

PandaEis · 19/06/2010 10:02

thanks rainbow

well nausea has taken camp...i feel quite ill today i am treating myself as if i am pregnant until proven categorically otherwise so 6+6 here this is the furthest i have managed to get without MC since having DD

how are you getting on rainbow?

and PnM too getting any symptoms yet??

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