30s TTC - We Started TTC When the LAST Coalition Government Was In Power

[Muser]

BESH is BACK for Spring. Come in, admire the cocktail bar stylings I have created for you. It's all lowlights and smooth sounds, and there's a rehearsal room in back for the GLEE practice.

The barman are beautiful, the Pit has been well stocked with beanbags and gin. So roll up all you 30-something BESHies who stopped counting cycles sometime in the last century, and grab a martini.

well, they've got to keep their tackle cool.

SCORPS PUT BBC1 ON IMMEDIATELY. IMMEDIATELY YOU HEAR ME?

calendar is a nice idea but clearly have to be in the style of their day jobs...

Whaaa? Waaa, I didn't see this until now - what was on BBC1? Oh, the Blackadder thang! I seen it; was on last year. Cheers for thinking of me!

If the BESHman calendar has to be in the style of their day jobs, TYF will just be nuddy at a desk furtively checking that no-one can see him playing Google Pac Man whilst eating a bar of chocolate. Horny! Or at least that's how I imagine him at work (he has one of those jobs that if you say the title, everyone goes 'Oh. What's that, then?' and I can't explain it very well. And no, am not going to explain here either!)

MrM would be staring at spreadsheets. Hot.

Erm...

Glad to offer up a small man with a big hose. fnar fnar...

Morning y'all.......

What a miserable bank holiday monday it is here.

Well, in the 2WOOFLing department, it's day 25 and here is wot I've got... slightly hurty norks, heartburn, am EXHAUSTED (seriously. like from about 10 minutes after waking up) , grumpy and weepy. Am updiffed faw shaw, no?

I am having lunch cooked by my Mum and dinner cooked by my bestest mate today though, so cannae be all bad. And,in spite of above, am actually outrunning the menkul this month, really not feeling concerned about it all for once. So that's nice.

Am now shopping for wallpaper for my living room, online.

Tea and pain au chocolat all round.

Sounding good OnePot. How long is your cycle usually?

CurlyOne your man and his hose would definitely have to be in the calendar. Not sure about TG, he is IT boss so not terribly exciting. I'm sure he would much rather be pictured in his 'preferred role' of Author.... sitting in his summerhouse/office, wearing a panama, smoking a joint and staring wistfully out of window whilst dreaming up his next book.

Well Pollyinmypocket, up until last month they were always, always 28 or 29 days. As in no deviation from that in over 10 years. Then we had Droidgate last month, where my cycle went up to 35 days.

So who can say? Tis a mystery in my netherds, fit to rival the bermuda triangle. Perhaps to patent a new bikini waxing style for BESHlets: I'd like a bermuda triangle please Tracy/Crystal/Maureen??

It is my destiny.

Hom has an array of expandable tools, is frequently covered in oil, has a way with bonnets and boots (Mr D'Arcy) and has been known to enjoy a loud throaty growl

My man could well and truly be in a calendar given the comments I receive about him often (he's much too good lucking for likes of me, but perhaps I have Other Qualities.) He'd have to be well and truly waxed first though. And I might need his permission because he's bashful like that.

Grumpy, weepy and exhausted eh Cass? Hmmm....

Ewww, I don't like 'em waxed. What's wrong with a sexy bit of fuzz Psychologists might say my preference was caused by the fact that my Dad looks like a yeti from the neck down, but that's entirely irrelevant

TYF is a swoony fox and no mistake. As he's such an amazing musician, maybe he could use an instrument to hide his, er, instrument. Although that would take a double bass (which he doesn't own)... Actually, he's too hot for any calendar - no bitch better check out mah man Am always seeing insultingly slim and pretty stoodent girls perving at him, which makes me - his chubby, grey-haired, wonky-toofed cougar-crone of a girlfriend - fel really good about myself. Although he never notices the slaaaaaaaags.

Droid has started this morn. CD26, so not too bad, considering the lap. No pain as yet. Feel okay. Think my health is starting to move in the right direction. Needling tomorrow and I feel almost back to normal now, apart from mild tum pain. Huzzah!

You're all welcome to a pic of the OM and his truncheon . His dear freckled smiling dimpled face is, however, prolly not conducive to Mills & Boon style daydreaming...

Cass dearie-o, that sounds promising! Since we took this month off can I please menkul on your behalf? The menkul has to go somewhere

Meanwhile I have aged 10 years trying to book our first proper holiday in like, 3 years or summat. We want a Cornish/Devon cottage (or cow-byre. Or hole in the ground. Not fussed) so that being married 10 years seems fun & romantic and not inestimably dreary & the death of hope and youth . We managed to find the perfick one but you had to pay the whole lot up front; I mean how is that reasonable? Does anyone know a good website? Something look www.smashingplacesforpoorpeople.com? Pliz?

Oh look, that was the most boring paragraph anyone has ever written, in the history of time & space.

look like

TWATFINGERS

GENIUS PLAN AHOY! TYF's parents have property to let in Devon! And it's an annexe onto the main part of the house, so you could book to be there when I'm down there! They have a lake and some fenced-off deer and shiz and is in the middle of nowhere and, erm, I would be there! Is eco and stuff, I'm led to believe and not that spendy

We could make our baybees at the same time (NOT in the same room, you freak)!

Scorpy and Heady sitting in a --
marvellous-- country house/K-i-s-s-i-n-g... TNB and I have stayed in lovely cottage in Suffolk, but it is quite spensive. linky

I have just had brunch and looked at baby goats. Civilised bank hol.

IPhone + fat fingers = bad formatting. Gah.

Oh, and Pol et al. Fanks for all the ICSI good vibes. Am attempting not to get hopes up too much, but happy stories are v reassuring. Zita says that you have to be positive about outcome, but am so worried about how disappointing it will be if hopes are too high. Hmmm.

Oh, and Scoffy. Great news about the perfectly cleansed and spotless womb. Bonkage ahoy.

Cass Interesting symptoms...

Cheers, Drom! I am going to do my Zita West Preconception relaxation in a bit... if I can stay awake longer than 3 minutes in and visualise my perfect womble*. That cottage is BEYOND! So jealous!

Understand your fears about how crushing it would be if the ICSI doesn't work first time. You'd be odd not to feel that way. But please allow your BESHettes to never stop believing in you for as long as it takes We'll tone down the 'bigginess' of our hope for you if it makes things worse, just ask, 'kay? (But will continue to squeal and clap our hands for you behind your back ).

*Dominatrix Madama Cholet. That's MY perfect womble. BADUM-TSSSH!

Evening ladeez,

scorps tis good news on the health front, you're doing pretty good!

poo lovely news on your relly's. I love a good story like that.

Sadly, my droid has arrived, so I've now officially been off the pill & no sign of diffment for 3 years. Cue a-weeping & a-wailing to the poor boyf earlier.

Am actaully thinking about being sterilised. Its the hoped raised / dashed I cannot cope with anymore. Sterilisation = know where you are.

Thankfully I have a busy week in work & a Welsh-tastic day next Sat to keep my mind occupied (Wales v S Africa rugby pm, Stereophonics eve).

Anyways, hope everyone else is OK, & I'll catch up soon, xx

laurie that's shite, my love. Not the celebration of Wales, obv. The droidage. Be kind to yourself - chocolate, vodka and tears are all a good idea.

THWWWACCKKKKKKK! My poor love, that is shit, pure shit. But don't really get sterilised. That really wouldn't help. Okay, I know you're just being darkly humorous (I hope), but it's so sad. It makes me so for you. No wonder you've been a snotty mess today. Even after nearly a year I'm a nervous bloody wreck, so I can't begin to imagine how aaaarghgh you must be feeling. It truly is the uncertainty that is the cunt of it all; humans are not made to exist in a state of indefinite uncertainty. Do you have a good GP/specialist you can talk to? Is it time to try tests for really unusual ishoos or get gung-ho over AC? Or has it all been done and all you can do is try and wait? It's so farkin unfair and cruel. I just wish I could be there to give you a big hug and let you cry it all out (as well as you give you a baybee I'd steal on the way)

Head - come to Cornwall. I order you.

Laurie my love, I'm so about the three year mark for you. Sending you lots of loving pinches. It's very cruel. But I hope you can enjoy the Welsh-tastic day coming up. I'd love to join you but have now started working 12 hour days now summer's here .

Lozzle darling, I'm so sad for you. And I think you are utterly and entirely entitled to a full 48 hours - no: 72, godammit - of the most self-absorbed snotting and weeping and crying known to man. But after that, would Plans with a capital Pee make you feel more in control? Because it is the uncertainty that's so horrendous. Whatever: pliz to come and snot and weep all over the BESH Palais whenever the mood takes.

Scorpie my duckie, what a perfectly beauteous and marvellous thought that is! I have entertained myself with the thought of you & I weaving flowers into our glossy locks and wandering through corn-fields composing filthy haikus and smoking poppy-heads on the off-chance of a free high . Nobbut truly, you are dear and kind. But amazingly and astonishingly, the OM sprang into action the minute I stropped off the PC wailing "I'm never going to get out of this fucking city never I can't even remember what trees look like or how the sea smells I'm trapped I tell you DYING an artist cannot live like this" ad nauseam. A B&B in Cornwall (Looe? Is that a real thing?) is booked. I can't effing wait, I really can't. I do feel slightly cheated out of our own personal BESHfest tho...are plans afoot for somefing Scorp friendly soon ?

Aries ... ... mebbe we can have a cuppa?